How to PISS off a Christian...

[IbPervert (imported)]

That would be true, Man Created God in his Own Image and its been down hill ever sense.

River

actually man created God in man's image, "and its been down hill ever sense."

[meaty_10 (imported)]

"

Most Christians do not believe that the Bible is inerrant, that is, without error.

They do in the South.

They also believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. If the Bible says the world was made in seven days, then that's what it means. If the Bible says it rained for 40 days and 40 nights, then that's exactly how long it rained.

If it says Lot's wife was turned into salt then that's what happened.

Of course many of them also believe the Bible was written in English.

[sag111 (imported)]

Well lets see boys people in here have been doin their best to piss off this christian but it aint a happenin.No the one you need to fear is the God who made you all not some christian who is always makin mistakes so have fun while you can but you wont piss off this christian.

[Blaise (imported)]

They do in the South.

They also believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. If the Bible says the world was made in seven days, then that's what it means. If the Bible says it rained for 40 days and 40 nights, then that's exactly how long it rained.

If it says Lot's wife was turned into salt then that's what happened.

Of course many of them also believe the Bible was written in English.

In the seventeenth century, of course. In my church, people have their International Version Study Bibles at hand.

[Riverwind (imported)]

I believe it is more likely that a ship from space will land here to greet us, then god coming down from on high. That is the difference between fact and fantasy.

However a new version of the Bible was found the other day, it started like this

In the beginning God put his hands together and caused the big bang, saw the it was good then she went fishing. Everything after that is speculation.

I don't know if there is a god or gods and quite frankly I really don't care, because in the beginning man did not know how to read and like man today asked the question why. That is how mythology was born, born in every group of people all over the world, when you read them all you start to see the pattern and then Genesis makes sense, its just a story, nothing more.

Today of course we know how the world was created and if a god had anything to do with it, it stopped at the big bang. We know that earth is not the center of the universe, we know the earth is not flat, we know that the earth revolves around the sun and we know where we came from and it was not from Adam or Eve. It makes me wonder how people in this day and age can cling to such a notion that creation took 7 days, and that the bible is 100% true. WOW, talk about faith based on no facts, that is the true leap all the way to the end times which all Christians believe we are in, of course they have believed that for 2000 years, all the signs are there, for the last 2000 years, and 2000 years from now Christians everywhere will tell you that we are in the end times the signs are all there. However in 2000 years from now having found intelligent life on other planets man will have gone to the stars, leaving the Christians behind waiting for the end times that they know will come, and they are right to wait, the sun will nova in about 25 billion years and the end times will finally arrive. Remember the Bible says that God will never destroy the earth by water again, the next time will be by fire. Now that statement I believe, earth will be destroyed by fire.

River

[tugon (imported)]

Well lets see boys people in here have been doin their best to piss off this christian but it aint a happenin.No the one you need to fear is the God who made you all not some christian who is always makin mistakes so have fun while you can but you wont piss off this christian.

Why does God have to be feared. My God has a sense of humor. He knows what is in my heart. Since I have never been struck by lightening he must not be vengeful.

[BossTamsin (imported)]

I agree. God created humour, and any God worthy of the title would have one and understand that there can be love behind the jokes. He would see what is in a person's heart, and know they are good. We are supposed to be created in God's image. If we can laugh at ourselves, why then cannot He?

One of my favourite bits of all time comes from Red Dwarf:

Newsreader: Good evening. Here is the news on Friday, the 27th of Geldof. Archeologists near Mount Sinai have discovered what is believed to be a missing page from the Bible. The page is currently being carbon-dated in Bonne. If genuine, it belongs at the beginning of the Bible and is believed to read, "To my darling Candy. All characters portrayed within this book are fictitous and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental." The page has been universally condemned by church leaders.

[sag111 (imported)]

I didnt say God dosent like laughter but those who go against him and show only hate toward him.Yes you better fear him because on that day you die and are befor him you will wish you had listened when so many were telling you do as God has asked and you know it will free you.To go against God only makes things harder for you.Just look at all the jails full of people doing their own thing.As it says in the bible we are to pray for every one especialy the unbeleavers.

[sag111 (imported)]

By the way I dont fear God because I understand him and his love and I will bow before him as we all will one day.

[tugon (imported)]

Since God responds to many faiths he/she is not christian but God. I wonder if God has a favorite faith?