Sleep-deprived women (and the eunuchs who love them.)

[FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)]

Due to something that "came up" last night, namely everything I've eaten since 1995, I have been awake since 10PM. On top of that I only got two-point-something hours of ZZZZZZZ the night before.

If I assume the horizontal I feel dizzy and nauseous, so I've been sitting and pacing (See: Sleepwalking) a lot.

Thank God I wasn't needed at the office or the courthouse today.

My point? Well, none, actually. I just wanted to complain.

NO! I am not preggers, unless secks with a eunuch (See: Barry) or more recent secks with another female (See:Ash[leigh] or Marlene) could result in progeny.

I feel so lousy that I don't even want kawfee OR pastry.

I did take some Emitrol(TM) and that seems to have ended the worst of the episode. Time will tell.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to curl up in a recliner, looking helpless and adorable in my flannel one-piece jammies with the escape hatch in back, my furry slippers made to look like widdle wabbits, with a stadium blanket over the whole ensemble. There's a nice fire in the fireplace, thanks to Ash(leigh), and the wastebasket with plastic liner is within reach. The Teevee is on too, not that I much care.

I wish these sporadic fits of shivering would stop!

Love to all,

Yoli

The little sick girl in San Antonio.

[DeaconBlues (imported)]

Misery LOVES company, or like Harry Truman says "Missouri loves company."

I just got the WORST COLD. This is the first time I have been sick, really sick, in at least five years. Fever, nausea, no vomiting yet. I sorta think my current suffering is my rightful punishment for a serious misdeed I did.

Friday (17 Jan) my 11 year old son woke up and told me he was not feeling well. I checked his tempertature (97.0 degrees f.) and figured he just did not want to go to school that day because he was supposed to get a "progress report." Also Friday was only a "half day" so I sent my son to school. When I picked him up, he just wanted to go home and go to bed, and I knew that he really was sick, and I had been wrong to send him to school.

Saturday morning I woke up with the onset of the symptoms, fever, dizzy, ACHES, aches and pains... I made a point of telling my son that I was sorry, that I did make a mistake, even though, I like all fathers "know everything, am perfect, etc...." So here it is Wednesday, finally my son is well enough to go back to school, I am still a bit sick, chills mostly. I figure I earned this punishment though.

[tugon (imported)]

Yoli I hope you feel better soon. I hope you have a crystal bell to ring when you need somthing. Of course along with the bell you need a eunuch who would run at the first ring. Too bad I am so far away. Hope your health returns quickly so I may continue to live vicariously through you.

[FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)]

IT'S ALIVE!; Quoting Ash(leigh) when I suddenly rose from my deathbed and raided the kitchen in search of those cinnamon-pecan rolls I saw her sneak in yesterday afternoon. She won't let me have kawfee but this tea she made is just fine for now.

I guess the siege is over. I've slept a lot since my initial post. Best of all, I've enjoyed two showers and a soak in the spa since Noon y'day.

It looks as though Tugon will have my ravings to enjoy for a while, rather than making weekly visits to my grave, dressed in black, to leave one perfect rose before the Venetian Marble marker that says:

"Here lies Yolanda, taken too soon.

She was lots of fun, a certified loon.

She loved eunuchs, non-eunuchs, and women alike.

She had a vibrator in the seat of her bike.

Now, late at night, she haunts the dark halls.

You can hear her whisper...

May I have your balls?"

I need to incorporate that in my "pre-need" planning. It might spook the funeral home guy, though...ya' think?

Wow! These near-death experiences are a hoot!

Ash(leigh) is drinking KAWFEE! I'll scratch her eyes out. Right!...Just what I need; A blind/blonde lipstick lesbian (Well, Bi, anyway, but 75% Sapphic.) to look after. (I'm 50-50, being an equal opportunity little slut.)

Actually, when she leaves for Rockport in a few minutes, I'm gonna re-ignite that new kawfee maker and get my fix!

Time out. Gotta see Ash(leigh) off.

OK, back. Damn! She hit the breath spray before I kissed her bye-bye. I was hoping she'd taste like kawfee. By the time she returns from the coast tomorrow I'll have depleted the kawfee supply and that's a promise!

Our current temp is 38F and it's damp. A tiny bit warmer tomorrow and I've been tasked with "guiding" a semi-bigwig on Canyon Lake starting at 9AM and trailering the boat at about 5PM. I really need to load some carbs and replenish my precious bodily fluids before then. Sooooo...maybe I'll get dressed and hit the Cracker Barrel for some pancakes, then, circa 5PM, meet a GF at Olive Garden for dinner. No alcohol, I guess...sniff. Maybe one glass of a nice kee-anty would be OK. Ya' think?

The good news is that I've hunted and fished with tomorrow's guest before and he's a fine outdoorsman and total gentleman. That's good, 'cause I've had others who think that the retainer they pay my bosses entitles them to "privileges" when alone with me.

It's not that I haven't performed a "Bass Boat BJ" (or the deer blind equivalent,) or even had actual *intercourse while anchored in a secluded cove or adrift on the lake post-sundown, but that involved BigGuy, with his spouse present, or Barry T. Eunuch. There have been a few "Snacking at the Y" episodes too, when a lady was involved, but NO ONE may take me for granted!!!

Well, as you can see, I'm sufficiently recovered to be my usual chatty self...and hungry too!

As Ever, Your Loving Kastration Kounselor.

Yoli

*If you do "it" outdoors, is it "outercourse"?

[Arab Nights (imported)]

This is what you get for getting on that plane and leaving healthy Arizona. Seriously, an old Swedish remedy is put some wine in that hot tea. The warmth feels sooooo gooood, the wine helps you sleep and rest is the best cure. We're all hoping for a rapid recovery.

[tugon (imported)]

Yoli I am glad to read you are on the mend. Replenishing your body is very important and from practical experience a little wine would not hurt. After all it is my primary source for vitamin c. I was worried about you and also the nations economy so I went shopping yesterday. I thought if Yoli is unable to shop will we slide into a recession? Now I am not as accomplsihed a shopper as you and that was obvious upon returning home. I bought the wrong sized underwear. When I opened the package and held them up I thought wow I can parasail with these. Back to the store today to return them.

Enjoy the pancakes and coffee. Oh and I am sorry you were forced to drink tea. I provide care for a gentleman with Alzheimer's disease and the whole famn damily are tea drinkers. The first morning there and I realized there was not a coffee maker in sight or a coffee bean. Now as soon as I have delivered him in the morning I am at a drive up window begging for coffee.

[kristoff]

This is what you get for getting on that plane and leaving healthy Arizona. Seriously, an old Swedish remedy is put some wine in that hot tea. The warmth feels sooooo gooood, the wine helps you sleep and rest is the best cure. We're all hoping for a rapid recovery.

Who told you that is what the Swedes do? We always put some Glug in there, heheh....

[Arab Nights (imported)]

Who told you that is what the Swedes do?

An SAS stewardess. God, to relive the 60s again.

[A-1 (imported)]

*If you do "it" outdoors, is it "outercourse"?

...only if it involves "Tribidism" and doesn't 'rub' you the wrong way...

...Yoli, maybe you should start a Koven (of) Kastration Kounselors ....

.... you could call it the "KKK" for short ... no.. wait... :-\ ...where have I heard that name before?

...IT takes BALLS to tell you something like that...

...but I guess that's just not your bag, huh?



YEEEOWWWWL!

[FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)]

Dear A-1,

Before I forget...You make great steak sauce! Yummo! (Rachael Ray)

Well, the KKK "logo" is so often misunderstood (understandably) that if we could invent another one (before we re-order more expensive letterhead and envelopes ) we'd be delighted. Suggestions are welcome.

Oh, and it's "TribAdism". Three points off semester grade, you naughty boy.

So far as "kounseling" people re snipping goes, well, in a way we have done so. I.E., Marlene and her gentleman chum, both of whom live up the road in Austin.

He's the one who got a stiffie when he noticed Barry's empty hacky sack when we encountered them during a nude cruise on the lake, you may recall.

By way of counseling we've given them the crash course on the methods of castration and the likely effects, post-op. She wants his entire baggie and contents thereof gone; He favors the empty baggie look and perhaps a zipper...loose change, car keys, etc...and, by substituting some rattles,he could jam with a mariachi band just by shaking his booty OR insert two sleigh bells and really be in demand when the band plays "Sleigh Ride", "Jingle Bells", or "Troika" at the Christmas concert.

Mind you, we do NOT urge anyone to spread 'em for the snip. We only admit our fascination with the whole business and promise support "in the event of..."

I kinda think there's a 50-50 chance it will happen, probably in Mexico. Marlene has told me, however, that he has admitted he wants his last go-round as an intact guy to involve me. That may constitute a barrier.

It's not that I don't like him, 'cause he's so nice a person as you'll ever meet, but I have heretofore limited my fun 'n games to only two males; One snippee (Barry) and one well-endowed non-and-never-will-be-I-pray snippee, BigGuy.

My frolics with women, on the other hand, are not restricted as to numbers, since girl-girl is, well, not "dissing" my two guys.

Oh, alright!...&$^@#!...I MIGHT "assist" in some minor role when time for his pre-snip squirty comes...or pre-snip come squirts I'd most likely want to feel and fondle his ballsies, just to "record" them for posterity, in my own memory bank...and take some "before" pics too.

I might be emboldened to hold his peepee out of the way as his ballsies make their exit, That's always been a hope of mine. I feel, however, that Marlene, should fulfill that function, the doctor permitting. After all, he is HER project and prospective pet eunuch.

She has hinted, BTW, that he wants to marry her. She says she will tie the knot IF he goes through with the snip. WOW! They both are financially quite secure, so no ulterior motives to fret over. And, she says, she would love to have a most active sex life with a eunuch. According to her she'd enjoy the "challenge" and, besides, there's always HRT.

Well, that pretty well covers the course. Test on Friday! 10 True or False; 10 Multiple Choice; One Essay Question.

Book reports are due Wednesday!

Today's Cafeteria Menu features:

Choice of: Spam or Smoked Eel

Mashed Turnips

Pease Porridge Hot or Pease Porridge Cold. (and you can bet it's MORE than nine days old.)

Mixed Veggies (Okra, Chick Peas, and Stewed To-mah-tos.)

Dessert will be Rhubarb Pie, Ice Cream Optional.

Juice Box

Goat Milk

Beano(TM)

Have a studious day!

Miss Yolanda

Principal