New Jersey humor

[Danya (imported)]

I'm seriously developing a problem with 'over-posting' syndrome tonight. At any rate, I grew up in Philadelphia (sorry, I've never gotten used to calling it 'Philly') and New Jersey. So I couldn't resist. This is posted at:

http://soli.inav.net/~catalyst/Humor/jersey.htm. I'm actually kind of surprised that I 'get' most of this!

You Know You're from New Jersey When...

...you recognize or can relate to at least 10 of these:

You've been seriously injured at Action Park.

You know that the only people who call it "Joisey" are from New York (usually The Bronx) or Texas.

You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges."

You know that it's called "Great Adventure," not "Six Flags."

You've ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast.

You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.

You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am.

Whenever you park, there's a Camaro within three spots of you.

You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison.

You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery.

At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from.

You know what a "jug handle" is.

You know that a WaWa is a convenience store.

You know that the state isn't all farmland.

You know that there are no "beaches" in new Jersey - there's "The Shore," and you know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway" not "The Garden State Highway."

You know that "Piney" isn't referring to a tree.

Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs, and, you call it a "sub" not a "submarine sandwich" or worse yet, a "hoagy" or a "hero."

You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials.

You know how to properly negotiate a Circle.

You knew that the last question had to do with driving.

You know that "Acme" is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros creation.

You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try ...Mexico, ...York, ...Hampshire (doesn't work, does it?).

You know how to translate this conversation: "Jeet yet?" "No, Jew?"

You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City."

You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.

You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege.

In the 80's you wore your hair REALLY high.

You don't think "What exit" (do you live near?) is very funny.

You know that the real first "strip shopping center" in the country is Route 22.

You know that people from 609 area code are "a little different."

You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton - that's for out-of-staters.

The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar.

You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.

You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town.

You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.

Every year, you had at least one kid in your class named Tony.

You know where every "clip" shown in the Sopranos opening credits is.

You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall.

You've eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries.

You have a favorite Atlantic City casino.

You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.

And finally...

You've never pumped your own gas.

[radar (imported)]

I'm not from New Jersey either, but like you, I live just across the Delaware from it, and I work there. And I can honestly say that I can identify with all but maybe two of these, especially Route 22.

Oh, and I've got a son named Tony....

[kristoff]

I'm not from New Jersey either, but like you, I live just across the Delaware from it, and I work there. And I can honestly say that I can identify with all but maybe two of these, especially Route 22.

Oh, and I've got a son named Tony....

'Splains my ignorance....

My kids are named Markus, Mikhail, and Matthurin. Who'd a thunk it!

[TibaulttheSecond (imported)]

Well I happened to live in the town where Bon Jovi did since I was 5 years old until this year, but other than the ones that are just logical or have to do with regional colloquialisms and shopping availability, I don't really identify with these.

Southern New Jersians use the word Hoagie. Most of these on the list would apply more to people who live in North Jersey rather than Central or South Jersey.

[Danya (imported)]

I agree with you, TibaulttheSecond, most of these do apply more to people in North Jersey. I lived in South Jersey and we indeed call subs Hoagies, which if I remember correctly may have been from the Philadelphia influence on that part of the state. I still found the list funny, maybe because I haven't lived in New Jersey for over 30 years. I was in the metro NYC area of NJ a few weeks ago for a course. Eventhough there are certainly differences between the regions of the state, my brief visit to north Jersey left me feeling very nostalgic for south Jersey.

[skivvynine (imported)]

New Jersey was named for the Channel Island of Jersey. I am from New Mexico. Can you tell me where the name Mew Mexico came from? I used to live in Nassau County Long Island. The family used to take the turnpike to Delaware. Had to hold our noses going through Elizabeth.

[Danya (imported)]

Uh, the Channel Island of Mexico?? I'm always amazed by the reports that many American don't know that New Mexico is a state in the US and not part of Mexico. We need some serious geography help in this country!

Yes, I've driven by the refineries and factories in the Elizabeth/Newark/Jersey City area many times and have really unpleasant memories of those odors.

[skivvynine (imported)]

No. One of the Channel Islands off the coast of Normandy. They are part of the UK. The only part of the UK the Germans were able to occupy during WWII. Were did we get the name "New Mexico?"

[kristoff]

Uh, the Channel Island of Mexico?? I'm always amazed by the reports that many American don't know that New Mexico is a state in the US and not part of Mexico. We need some serious geography help in this country!

Yes, I've driven by the refineries and factories in the Elizabeth/Newark/Jersey City area many times and have really unpleasant memories of those odors.

I used to drive into Jersey City every Tuesday AM at about 0400 to drop a load of XXXXX for a customer of mine in Minneapolis, before doing an immediate return trip. My co-driver and I always figured we were lucky to get there at such an early hour, since most of the prior day's pollution had had some chance to clear before us, and before resuming in earnest in the morning hours. We left ASAP since we were afraid of what kind of corrosion could happen to our truck or us by staying too long.

[NaziNuts (imported)]

OK, I can figure out most of the Jersey geographic idioms.

But, I'm still stuck on "Piney."

Is it the stick-up air freshener in Tony Soprano's Cadillac SUV?

Do people on the Garden State Parkway really fart that much while driving?

What's Piney?

Who's Piney?

Where's Piney?

Is Piney a New Jersey Devil who was once a California Angel?

Does Piney know Jimmy Hoffa?

Are all these questions allowed in New Jersey? Where is Old Jersey? Where are the game-worn jerseys?

From NaziNuts, not a Nazi but nuts and confused, or confused about nuts, just the same I guess.