your thoughts please

gpb3aol (imported)
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Re: your thoughts please

Post by gpb3aol (imported) »

bunnimon (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 19, 2008 6:15 am Gary I met a person who was in your exact situation. The logical answer to that problem I guessed would be a balance of testosterone where you are not filling your system but you are still able to combat the low energy and depression. Whether this is practical is the question? The person I spoke to thought not and I'm a little ignorant as to why. Does the T only come in one uncompromising dose?

On another subject:

Here is a short list of more defintions relating to the subject of this thread:

Gender Identity: the gender a person identifies themselves with (man, woman, androgynous, third gender, omni-gendered, bigendered, multigendered.)

Sex: pertains particularly to the primary sex characteristics, ie. genitals, which is independent of gender identity. (male, female, intersex, eunuch) Secondary sex charateristics refers to being more physically masculine or feminine. I'd never thought of being a eunuch as a gender and I would have to say that this is a primary sex characteristic. Perhaps i'm wrong?

*A genetically born male who is a eunuch with a male gender identity really hasn't transgressed gender so I personally wouldn't consider them tg. If their gender id is different from birth sex then the tg label would make sense.

Gender: refers to the collective differences between males and females.

Gender role: refers to stereotypical feminine and masculine roles. This is not indicative of gender identity. A boy who playing with dolls (feminine gender role), for example, isn't necessarily a sign that he sees himself as a girl.

Sexual orientation: pertains to sexual behavior and is independent of gender identity and gender role. (i.e. heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, assexual, fetishistic behavior etc.)

Sexual identity: relates to both the sexual orientation a person identifies with (which may not necessarily be synonymous with preference) and sexual characteristics. A person may consider their sexual identity (male, female, eunuch) to be incongruent with their gender identity (woman, man, androgynous).

Transgender: Literally crossing gender. This is a throw-away term that is so broad it fails to hold any meaning. (A man who tries on women's underwear, crossdresser, transsexual, androgyny, autogynephilia, transgendered eunuch)

Crossdresser or transvestite: a person who wears clothing of the opposite gender. Often crossdressing is associated with sexual arousal or a fetish for women's clothing. This behavior, like many fetishes, generally begins in early puberty.

Transsexual: Someone who has or wishes to sugically alter their sex organs in order to be congruent with their gender identity. Transsexualism is distinct from crossdressing as it is a congenital condition which is NOT motivated by a sense of eroticism. By this definition a could some eunuchs be considered ts? Someone not wanting to have surgery does not fit into this category such as a person who only takes hormones.

Autogynephilia: A MTF who has or wishes to surgically alter their sex organs, is attracted to females and is sexually arroused by living as a woman. This is a contorversial theory and it's diagnosis is overly simplified, although some MTF transsexuals do identify themselves as autogynephiles. Sexual orientation is not necessarily related to gender identity and this theory is based on a bias of the sexologists who developed it (Blanchard, Bailey and Lawrence).

*Possibly some eunuchs loosely fit into this category in that they have or wish to have surgery for sexual purposes or as a fetish (particularly those in the BDSM scene)?

Androgynous: A person who does not identify with either gender. Such a person may have a preference for non-gendered pronouns such as zhe or zir

Bi-gendered: refers to a person who identifies with both genders.

Omni-gendered: A person who identifies with more than two gender identities or a spectrum of genders.

Many ts/tg/cd selectively find the trumpeting out of labels distasteful as they prefer to see themselves as simply "people" and some of the labels have negative or even derrogative connotations as the author of this thread may have found. This list is for educational purposes only and in no way requires anyone to tattoo their forehead with any of these terms.

Hi Bunnimon,

Yes you can take various levels of T. That works for a lot of guys. Unfortunately I'm an Androgynous person who is in a male body but leans to the femmine side slightly. I want to be less male. I believe E is the answer to my needs.

BTW, thanks for the diffentions. I think that proves a point, labels are labels not people.

I'm not sure eunuch is a gender technically but I think that for someone like me, not wanting to be male or female, it gives us somewhere to get together with others like ourselfs, around a common point.

Hope that makes sense.
mrt (imported)
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Re: your thoughts please

Post by mrt (imported) »

Wow! That is a massive amount of definitions. I wonder if doing it in such detail is an error however? For example I've known a lot of (natal) women that get an erotic thrill out of dressing up in sexy lingerie. If a male to female transexual does this they are not a true transexual? That doesn't make sense to me. Didn't Terri once post that she was upset that women's clothing had seemed "erotic"? I thought at the time why is this wrong for you and not a natal female? Who writes these stupid rules??? Its like the old taboo that "real lesbians don't do penetration" Why not? If the spirit guides us why not the strap-on?

Sure I guess I understand the difference between someone who is male (or female) and is just into the "fetish" end of cross dressing and has no desire to live as a female or have Gender Reassignment surgery for example.

I'm still very curious about those that are male that want to transition and stop at Orchiectomy / HRT and living as women. Actually as I think about it the Female to Male transexuals are probably an even more straightforward case. They go on hormones and do top surgery and they then live as men. Some of us probably consider this "incomplete" but for them its close enough *And close enough for the DMV to change the F to M in most states. Just as Orchiectomy / HRT and living female is enough to change the M to F on a drivers license.

I saw a great thread (Sorry I didn't bookmark it) where a M2F transexual said that she no longer wanted to be defined as Transexual. She said that once her surgery was complete she was female... PERIOD! And that while she wanted to honor the part of her life where she was in transition she was done with it and didn't want IT to define her.

I remember reading a book *I think called Everything you want to know about sex but was afraid to ask. The author had this very negative view of transexuals saying if I remember right that M2F transexuals were "nothing more then castrated men taking female hormones with artificial vaginas." Another way to "define" and I suppose in some medical way (maybe?) accurate but SO wrong...

I dunno more food for thought.

- Nothing more then a castrated man taking 'fake' male hormones.... aka MrT :D
Bubba26072 (imported)
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Re: your thoughts please

Post by Bubba26072 (imported) »

wow im very suprised at the response and remarks that this thread has made come out. thank you for the glossary of words and meanings but only know after reading mrts response do i understand how wrong utterly wrong a definition can be...

ive made it known that i am an otr(over the road)driver.. know think what that sponds in your mind what you think of me how i look or act... i was so close to the picture i couldnt see the paint and after stepping back realize the big picture which is plain and simple ONLY I CAN SAY WHAT I TRULLY AM AND TRULLY BELIEVE IN. I stopped in at the doctor monday the 21st we didnt get into a long conversation about it but i explained to her my ultimate goal over losing the dht and t cells. and how when i get my lipid test done i would like to get my dht and total t count. she agreed and stated that if this is what i want and can explain it to her why she would be more then willing to help...

{just a thought i wonder if i told her that i ve imagined bang her like a screen door if that would be good enough of an answer.} just a thought🍑👋
kristoff
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Re: your thoughts please

Post by kristoff »

Bubba26072 (imported) wrote: Wed Jan 23, 2008 10:02 pm wow im very suprised at the response and remarks that this thread has made come out. thank you for the glossary of words and meanings but only know after reading mrts response do i understand how wrong utterly wrong a definition can be...

ive made it known that i am an otr(over the road)driver.. know think what that sponds in your mind what you think of me how i look or act... i was so close to the picture i couldnt see the paint and after stepping back realize the big picture which is plain and simple ONLY I CAN SAY WHAT I TRULLY AM AND TRULLY BELIEVE IN. I stopped in at the doctor monday the 21st we didnt get into a long conversation about it but i explained to her my ultimate goal over losing the dht and t cells. and how when i get my lipid test done i would like to get my dht and total t count. she agreed and stated that if this is what i want and can explain it to her why she would be more then willing to help...

{just a thought i wonder if i told her that i ve imagined bang her like a screen door if that would be good enough of an answer.} just a thought🍑👋

I wouldnt put too much credence in a lot of Bunnimon's post. It lends itself to too much concretism and demarcation - that is not reflective of real life.
kristoff
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Re: your thoughts please

Post by kristoff »

Bubba26072 (imported) wrote: Wed Jan 23, 2008 10:02 pm I stopped in at the doctor monday the 21st we didnt get into a long conversation about it but i explained to her my ultimate goal over losing the dht and t cells. and how when i get my lipid test done i would like to get my dht and total t count. she agreed and stated that if this is what i want and can explain it to her why she would be more then willing to help...

{just a thought i wonder if i told her that i ve imagined bang her like a screen door if that would be good enough of an answer.} just a thought🍑👋

Just copy out this thread or most of it, and give it to her to read if you think that will help (or other pertinent threads).

And if nuns can drive over the road (long ago), anyone can.
Bergamot (imported)
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Re: your thoughts please

Post by Bergamot (imported) »

Thank you, MrT. It makes me happy to see your defense of transsexual folks.

I have always hated the concept of autogynephilia. We struggle with so many body issues as transsexuals, and can find it so very difficult to be happy with the way we look, that it seems terribly cruel to tell us we're perverts for feeling too good about ourselves. (That's my reading of autogynephilia, anyway, and may be too much of a simplification.) Why, indeed, aren't we allowed to feel sexy while still remaining "genuine"?

I'm not sure what you mean when you ask about MtF folks stopping at orchiectomy and hormones. For me, anyway, in addition to the prohibitive cost of further surgery, I am held back from a more far-reaching transition by my own need to cling to "plausible deniability." What I mean is that, although acting from my own desires alone I would feel comfortable feminizing my body to whatever extent is possible, a part of me still wants to be able to deny my transsexualism to others. (This is one of the few times I've even mentioned my real feelings to anyone—I usually downplay them, even while admitting to some ambivalence about my gender, claiming I just don't want to be emphatically male, or whatever, but not admitting that I wish I were a woman. It's true though: I do want to be female.) I would feel much more comfortable, for example, presenting androgynously while knowing that others saw me as a man with an uncommon degree of femininity in his appearance—always assuming that this "worked" for me fashion-wise—than I would be knowing everyone saw me as a man who was "trying to be a woman," and in this was failing to succeed in their eyes.

I know it is terribly cowardly to hide like this, and I wish I weren't this way. I am TS. Ideally I would be forthcoming about who I am and unashamed to show it. But I am making baby steps forward, I think—baby, baby steps.

Anyway, I know I may not be quite the sort you were referring to, MrT, but I hope it's OK I shared all the same. I guess I just wanted to say that it feels good to hear someone say positive things about us, someone who has a respectful and intelligent interest in where we're coming from. I would want to hide less if everyone were like this.:) But I suppose my hiding doesn't help burn off anyone's fog of ignorance, either, so maybe I should be braver if I hope to change any minds!
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Re: your thoughts please

Post by plix (imported) »

I do believe that Autogynephilia exists, but I don't believe it is an illegitimate reason for transitioning, and I also don't believe that all MtFs who are not exclusively attracted to men are autogynephiles. I think the posts of some people here make it clear that there are people who get sexually turned on by the idea of being feminized. Nothing wrong with it. However, I do believe more caution needs to be given to the idea of transition if there is a large sexual component. This is because once the fuel for the thrill ceases (i.e., libido), it could turn out to be a pretty big disappointment. Even gender therapists will tell a crossdresser who gets turned on by dressing that more caution is needed before transition.
mrt (imported)
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Re: your thoughts please

Post by mrt (imported) »

Your welcome. I really don't understand why sexuality is such a big bug a boo for people. Anyway thank you for your response. I never considered that fear of going all female (for example) would be a problem. More proof I think that Jesus and the Prof are correct and that Male / Female are not Binary. There are some serious shades of in-between and there are just practical problems with going 100% from Male to Female.

The issue of body image is one I think I understand / share. When my testes had atrophied down to near zilch combined with the pain problems it was a pretty easy matter to slide over to the operating table even tho the concept of "castration" was not so great when first suggested to me. It was a huge huge plus knowing I would wake up with faux replacements of the "correct" size for who I saw myself as. So when I joke about that male to MALE sex change its not 100% tongue in cheek. If my pre-op status was anything it was "a mess." I now feel more "correct" or completed. Not sure what the best way to say it is.

I think with the grief that some of our Transexual friends put up with? Well in their shoes I would probably hope to "pass quietly" and not have any attention put on me. Dr Bowers who I was thinking about doing my orchiectomy is a very brave woman to be up front and public about her transition and I think more people like her will help the world "get" that this is not some freakish sex fetish.

Plix you know I love you like a brother but I disagree on one thing. Why is a transexual (m2f) held to a different standard then a natal woman? If getting dressed up in some "sexy" outfit turns on my wife for example why is it a red flag if it does the same thing to a m2f transexual? Yes, I understand there is a problem if everyday stuff turns into some sex charged thing but... Do you follow me? I'm probably saying it all wrong...

SIGH....
Bubba26072 (imported)
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Re: your thoughts please

Post by Bubba26072 (imported) »

went to the doctor total testosterone is at 153 i am become more peaceful easier to deal with and much more relaxed in my surroundings just a quick updates boys may the lord you with the same strength and courage to fight your battles . for i have to give only a small piece of knowledge it is easier to serve it easier to be meek and humble than it is to expect and know with certainty.. love and peace to you all
mrt (imported)
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Re: your thoughts please

Post by mrt (imported) »

Bubba26072 (imported) wrote: Tue Jan 15, 2008 9:08 am shit dude just about hit the nail on the head. but when my wife read this we decided this was maybe our biggest issue believe it or not she wants to fix it without chemical castration at first.,, but i must be honest i dont see it getting any better... any one who knows of a good site for women fighting against low sexually desire please speak now... but personnally and this will be the first my wife hears this i say within 1 year i will be an alpha male who has no sexual desire from a medical means... i will unpdate every one via this link but who knows ...

I think a lot of divorce and such is from un balanced sex drives. The whole horny older man with the young trophy wife and so on. Some of the couples here who have opted to place the male sex drive on the shelf? Well I tip my hat to you guys. I came in that way and am glad to have rediscovered mine with HRT.

It sounds to me like the best solution that would make both of you happy is for her to find a way to improve her sex drive not shut yours off. The problem would then be that you have no interest and then what is she supposed to do? With chemical castration it seems that some men can dial things down but not off? That is a tricky deal however. I think you would have to be self medicating and I honestly don't suggest that. If you do for SURE talk to your doctor, tell her/him what your doing so they can at least keep an eye on things like liver function to make sure you don't harm yourself.

However to your question. Many women deal with lower sex drives. (its both ways btw) I would spend thinking about spending some time talking to a sex therapist. I would also surf the net a bit looking for support.

http://www.themarriagebed.com has a number of resources you can check out.

Don't be afraid to talk to her doctor about Hormone replacement therapy. Its saved a lot of marriages. And she may find it helpful in a large number of ways. Mood, energy, anxiety reduction and mental focus etc. Plus a strong sex drive which can't hurt if you have an eager partner for that kind of thing.

:D
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