I'm 19 years old and from the Eastern US. For years I had all kinds of different fantasies, and one thing led to another to the point where I got to the current, the castration fantasy.
I've been a crossdresser for as long as I can remember, I lived with my sister in my earlier years and when she left her clothes would remain, and being curious, I... you know.
At about 13 I started reading forced crossdressing stories and going to those types of porno sites, but really, what young boy doesn't go after porn sooner or later?
From there, at about 14 I learned about CBT. Then at 15 I found ballbusting, and got into literal busting, though I couldn't ever find anything like that except stories. At 16, I found the archives and that sort of began my interest in castration. Around that time I also found BME, which is very resourceful.
So for the past three years I've been having the constant castration fantasies, aided by these stories, no less, and it's definitely tempting to actually want to do it.
I'm submissive, firstly. A lot of the stories here revolve around submission into castration, so that's been big all along, and truth be told I would absolutely love it, and be scared to death, if I were to be tied to a bed against my will and have 'em lopped off. Of course, that's where the fun would end, probably, but in that situation there's not much you can do
At this point anyway, I can't really see myself ever arranging to have my testes taken for any reason. I mean, if I keep reading the archives, maybe curiosity will get to me eventually, but I know there's a big difference between fantasy and reality.
My fantasies involve losing them. It goes no further beyond that, and I know the reality of it is there is an after period where the bad effects start to take hold. Like, for example, the weight gain. Although things like dead sex drive don't really bother me.
Eh, it's sort of a slippery slope. At first it was just a fantasy, and the more I read the more I want it. Again, I know the difference between fantasy and reality, and that's why I'm not seriously considering it, at this point anyway.
I've seen the congratulations here for various new castrated users, and then they disappear. OK, some of them definitely are happy with their new lives, and I know that those who have to have them removed for medical reasons can live near-normal lives, but I have to think that for every one that enjoys it, there are ten that hate it, and usually those are the ones that disappear.
I'm not that much of a crossdresser these days, in fact, I rarely do it, and never in full. Never in public. I'd love to be a girl, but sex changes don't really fit my needs. Castration also isn't close at all, but at least it sort of eliminates the 'male' part of me, which may be a subconscious thing... I don't know.
I also like the idea of an empty sack and shriveled up penis, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's something to do with the EA stories, yet again, but I may never know the reason behind that.
I'm not exactly obsessive, though it's a pretty big part of my sexual life, so don't expect many posts like this...
Maybe some day I will take that leap of faith and be castrated, and when that day comes, I'll look to EA's community for support. However, I don't forsee that being anytime soon. I'd surely try out chemicals first...
Well, hi, I guess.
