Backing down on the testosterone

[Hairless (imported)]

I had hoped that rid of my balls and scrotum would let me be content with my gender dysphoria. I've been on 300mg depo-T every 3 weeks for quite a while. The last several months, my gender feelings have been hitting me pretty hard. I did a little research on the web and found an article that said that doctors that treat my problem with testosterone are making a big mistake. It said that testosterone actually makes matters worse. I can't find this article again, has any one else seen it? I would like to find it again. I did find this: "Can Hormones Be Given To Those Who Do Not Want Surgery or a Real-life Experience? Yes, but after diagnosis and psychotherapy with a qualified mental health professional following minimal standards listed above. Hormone therapy can provide significant comfort to gender patients who do not wish to cross live or undergo surgery, or who are unable to do so. In some patients, hormone therapy alone may provide sufficient symptomatic relief to obviate the need for cross living or surgery," in the HARRY BENJAMIN standards of care article. I shared this with my GP and he said he would start weening me off the T and he cut my testosterone dosage in half. He also wants me to get more therapy, but I can't find a gender therapist that my insurance covers. I've already seen 3 therapists and we know what the problem is. One of them thought I would benefit from light feminization. I don't think talking will solve anything. I guess I'll just see where my GP goes with this. He wants me to talk to someone else to start me using estrogen, as he doesn't know about that. I've been trying to find an endocrinologist in my system that deals with gender issues, but cant find one of them either. Will any endocrinologist do? I just want to find a happy place that I can live with. Like I've said before, I would make one big ugly girl and I can't see myself going there. Any advice would be welcome.

[twaddler (imported)]

"

I had hoped that rid of my balls and scrotum would let me be content with my gender dysphoria.

"

Eek. Me too. I figured it as a nice compromise... didn't quite work out like I had hoped it would. meh.

[Danya (imported)]

Actually, I'm hoping that getting rid of my balls will help with the, what I think is mostly, genital dysphoria. I haven't gone there yet, but I will talk with my psychiatrist about this tomrrow. I want a referral to a gender counselor. I can't really afford it but OTOH, I can't really afford not to do it. This issue has gotten to the point where it's consuming my life. I feel like I don't fit into the body of a man but I'm not at all sure I'd want to transition to a woman. Very confusing. And I have Androcur arriving in a few days and I don't know what the hell to do.

[plix (imported)]

I've spoken to a lot of people who are unhappy with their birth gender, and they all say it doesn't go away. You can definitely suppress it, and some are able to do that pretty successfully, but that doesn't mean it has gone away.

Hormones can definitely be given to people who don't want to transition. I myself have no plans to transition, and I am taking what would likely be considered a transitional dose of E, prescribed by a doctor who knows I have no plans to transition. There are a lot of people like myself out there who don't want to transition but just feel a lot better on a good healthy dose of E.

Whether you would be taking a full dose or just a lower dose would be up to you and your doctor, but just wanted to put it out there that not transitioning doesn't necessarily restrict you to a low dose either.

The "not being able to pass as male" after a year of hormones thing is way overstated for most guys. There are excpetions, but most guys can pass indefinitely as guys while taking E. Keep in mind that the ones who are "not able to pass as male" are also growing their hair long, wearing feminine clothing, and otherwise trying to present as female. A guy who is on E but has short hair, guy clothes, and acts like a guy is going to be able to pass as male just fine in most cases.

In my case E makes me look like a teenage boy, not a woman. Looking younger can be frustrating at times, but chances are I will someday come to appreciate it.

Not all endos have dealt with gender issues - some know nothing about them and don't want to have anything to do with them. There are doctors out there that will prescribe hormones without a letter, especially in big cities. I worked with one such doctor who required no letters, and currently I am working with a doctor who knows nothing of the SoC and therefore nothing about a letter being required - if you can find a doctor willing to learn from you (you'll have to know how hormones are done so you can teach the doctor), that can be a good option too.

Usually the way it works is a gender therapist refers you to a doctor who works with gender patients and writes the letter required by that doctor.

Self-medication is another option, but not everyone is willing to do it, and with good reason since it is risky. I only recommend it to someone who has no options to see a doctor.

I can't tell you whether to take E or not, but I can tell you that if you want to it can certainly be done, transition or not Hope you find a solution that makes you happy

[twaddler (imported)]

"

In my case E makes me look like a teenage boy, not a woman.

"

lol... same here, kind of.

[shivashakti1975 (imported)]

The "not being able to pass as male" after a year of hormones thing is way overstated for most guys. There are excpetions, but most guys can pass indefinitely as guys while taking E. Keep in mind that the ones who are "not able to pass as male" are also growing their hair long, wearing feminine clothing, and otherwise trying to present as female. A guy who is on E but has short hair, guy clothes, and acts like a guy is going to be able to pass as male just fine in most cases.

Yeah, pretty much.

I've been on E 4 months now, and have feminized quite a bit. With my facial hair and baldness, no one's going to mistake me for a female. They might think I'm a guy with a bit of a chest..but I'm also overweight. So, I doubt anyone will think much of it.

I dress as male and look mostly male. There's no way I'm not going to pass as such unless I'm under a burqa. I'm also 5'5" and a bit curvy anyway.

Guys who are taller with more masculine builds will have even less of an issue with it.

[Eunuchist (imported)]

In my case E makes me look like a teenage boy, not a woman.

I think that this is primarily an effect of low testosterone alone. I am experiencing pretty much the same thing, and I do not take any hormones.

Looking younger your age is in fact a very common consequence of early castration/hypogonadism, and in some cases it seems to last a lifetime.

[mrt (imported)]

I'll try to google that article you want.

BTW 300mg every three weeks seems an odd dose to me. I have "somewhere" a program that lets you dial in the dose and frequency and you get a "rough" idea of your blood levels every day. I would think your getting roid rage levels to start with and ZERO at the end. An awful combo but.... Lets forget that for now...

When I was searching for hrt info I found that our Transexual freinds seem to have the best info and I think even your GP can take care of you with HRT female or male. Whatever Doctor you select they will probably want some documentation from your mental health doctor so they are "covered." A simple note that you have been under treatment for GID should be enough I think. If you can't find a Gender Expert? I would suggest talking to a standard GP type doctor that deals with women's health or has a "Family" practice. They have been prescribing estrogen forever and this should be an easy matter.

For what its worth I'm reading a lot about the topic of female HRT *My wife is going through menopause... I want to suggest you look into human identical hormones. Not the "horse" synthetics like Prempro etc. From what I've read these pose potential serious health issues. And while using hormones that are human identical is not proven to be better I think it just can't hurt...

I wouldn't freak too much on the concept of presenting badly as a woman. If I felt that way about myself (male) I would be in serious trouble! I'm not a very good looking guy. Sure I would be an ugly looking women but... I guess thats my point. If its important to you! Screw what others say or think...

Hang in there and good luck...

Your chum for life regardless of your Hormonal "fuel" - MrT

[Jonathon (imported)]

Mr. T, I'd be interested in seeing that program that helps with DP dosage/frequency. If you dig it up -- would you please either post it or post a link to it or send me a PM about it?

Thanks.

[Hairless (imported)]

Thank you all for your responses. Not that it's good, but it's good to know there are others going through what I'm going through. They say that about 1-2 guys in 30,000 have this problem. Are we lucky or what?

One question my wife was wondering about is that if I start taking Estrogen, is it possible to get a functional erection or is it strap-on time? I hear about some people on Estrogen masturbating to orgasm right up to the day of SRS. Does this involve an erection or just an orgasm?