A Trip to Hospital

[kristoff]

The other day when Jesus and Paolo told me there were tons of best wishes, I was startled at the quantity. Thank you very much, everyone, for the best wishes. They’re nice to have.

As reported, the EA is considered Pornographic, BME is flagged because of NUDITY (oh my!), a few other sites I harass were also deemed offensive. Hell they even find Landover Baptist Church objectionable. I had a ten-minute discussion about censorship with the shift IT manager on Tuesday evening. He indicated he would forward the message; of course nothing came of it. Oh well, there are ways…….

Despite the difficulties with Wi Fi, I did have quite a number of absolutely wonderful nurses, doctors, aides, and everyone else unmentioned, who went out of their way to be helpful, friendly, and made my stay a pleasant as it could be.

The progression to being Sprung from the hospital included wonderful milestones like being able to retain fluids, then being able to fart, and ultimately taking a dump. I haven’t yet – not enough solid food yet. Of course, I explained to my surgeon that it would be difficult to produce, since everyone knows that I am NOT full of shit. Of course, as wonderful as morphine can be (despite some tolerance; Tordal (sp?) supplementing it is blissful), it is not very good at aiding the passage of things not wanted (or that ARE wanted by my doctor).

I have about 4-6 weeks of recovery ahead before resuming any significant work, and probably as long again before and muscular normalcy returns. Hell, I have to wait two weeks to get the damned garden hose out of my badly bruised little winky, and then who knows how it will feel when they yank it out. No envy from me you SM people!

Tugon was kind enough to send to the hospital a fabulously gorgeous bouquet of flowers. I had a small parade of nurses wandering through to look, leaving threats to take it when I was asleep. When I left today, I presented it to them with thanks. And thank you Tugon!

Others sent many cards, I received a food bouquet this evening at home. I feel well physically, and wonderful in my friends. I am thrilled to be back!

Krister

[devi (imported)]

Well, I guess I have this gut feeling that I myself am simply not cut out to become a nun.

Feng Shui of the innards?

Shees! How religious do you have to be? What are you going to do next? --Walk up Mount Whatever without any shoes or something?

[plix (imported)]

So glad to hear you are home and doing well!

[mrt (imported)]

Despite the difficulties with Wi Fi, I did have quite a number of absolutely wonderful nurses, doctors, aides, and everyone else unmentioned, who went out of their way to be helpful, friendly, and made my stay a pleasant as it could be.

The progression to being Sprung from the hospital included wonderful milestones like being able to retain fluids, then being able to fart, and ultimately taking a dump. I haven’t yet – not enough solid food yet. Of course, I explained to my surgeon that it would be difficult to produce, since everyone knows that I am NOT full of shit. Of course, as wonderful as morphine can be (despite some tolerance; Tordal (sp?) supplementing it is blissful), it is not very good at aiding the passage of things not wanted (or that ARE wanted by my doctor).

I have about 4-6 weeks of recovery ahead before resuming any significant work, and probably as long again before and muscular normalcy returns. Hell, I have to wait two weeks to get the damned garden hose out of my badly bruised little winky, and then who knows how it will feel when they yank it out. No envy from me you SM people!

Krister

The Nurses are great aren't they?!

My GP gave me good advice about opiates and being able to take a dump. Colace, that herbal stuff that starts with an S? and Merilax. ALL AT ONCE! And on a regular basis. Its not perfect but it was the only thing that worked.

One comment on the Mr Winky hose. I was being prepped for my Orchiectomy and they of course got me all "wired" with hoses to knock me out and of course the pre surgery nerves resulted in me really needing to PEE when it was no longer and easy matter to get up and cut a wiz. As I waved my hand the Nurse said "yeah yeah, I know. You have to pee... EVERYONE has to now... forget it honey - in a minute you will be out of it. And in two minutes we are going to run a hose up your urethera and do all your peeing for you. In my case (Thankfully) they pulled it out while I was full of the Milk of amnesia...

Get moving good sister. There are sinners who need to be converted or perverted???

[Paolo]

Catheter phobia? Seems to be a lot of that going around.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Hell, I have to wait two weeks to get the damned garden hose out of my badly bruised little winky, and then who knows how it will feel when they yank it out. No envy from me you SM people!

Krister

Having had 32 kidney stones in my life, I have learned to dread the catheter insertion but rejoyce in it's removal. Catheters and I are old adversaries.

Welcome home Kristoff

I expect to see catheter humor in the joke section now....from any souls willing to meet imminient death.

[sapient (imported)]

Ho, I'm glad sister-Krister is back in the convent. I had to stand in line for AGES just to wish speedy recovery. (No I didn't of course, but I have to fake some excuse for not noticing the thread before...)

I now understand why the saws-all avatar disapeared a while back. You had to lend that machine to the surgeon, so he could get through your tough hide of course.

[Daughter (imported)]

I expect to see catheter humor in the joke section now....from any souls willing to meet imminient death.

I took someone to the ER once, and when the nurse asked if he was allergic to anything his response was "Yes, Foley Catheters. I tend to break out in screams." The nurse just kinda looked at him for a minute as though she thought he'd been serious. Good times.

[I Worship Women (imported)]

Very glad to hear you're home from the hospital Kristoff and that you're on the mend. Even with the "garden hose" (catheter) still in, you should heal more quickly and more comfortably at home. It should also be quieter at home. As much noise as they have in hospitals I wonder how anyone can get any rest there.

[Riverwind (imported)]

Krister, As you may or may not know there are a couple of us here in Wisconsin that are fully qualified to remove that Cathar, so when your ready or you need to change it just give a call.

Taking it out is the fun part, use the syringe to remove the water then removed it quickly, like, zingggg done.

Glad your home my friend,

River