Wife Agreed to Chem. Castration

[ramses (imported)]

Day 18

I hope I'm not babbling too much with this thread. I just want to document the journey for myself and others. It seems that a lot of people start these documentary threads, then disappear. Maybe I can contribute to the collective knowledge, here on the board. It could also be used as evidence for a shrink, if I end up in a mental ward...

An effect I wasn't really expecting is that I'm getting cold alot easier. Nothing of hot flashes, just cold. I normally get hot VERY easy and like the a/c set on 70-72 deg F. Last night, I got out of bed and put on a t-shirt and shorts because I was freezing my ass off. I've never done that in my life!!!! I have to admit though, it's not a bad effect when you live in texas, wher it's so damn hot and humid.

[ramses (imported)]

Day 24- Took single 150mg depo provera .

Nothing has really changed from prior posts. Able to get good erection with a little stimulation. Had great sex with wife two times without problems.

It does seem that ejaculate volume has decreased and it is not as thick.

I'm not experiencing any calm though. I'm probably more likely to tell someone off, than ever if they are being an asshole or dumbass.

[DonFL (imported)]

My patience was short the first 2 years i was on chemical castration, but over the years i got much more calm, less aggressive, and less assertive. This i didn't realize until recently and reversed course, so to speak. My assertiveness was lucky the 1st thing to return on normalization, thank goodness, as they were messing me around in the hospital. I'm betting your not going to see much "calm" for a long time as you seem to be reacting like i did to depo-provera in my 1st year. My patience was also nill for stupid people... My cowpers gland didn't shutdown till almost 3 years had passed so i didn't have dry Os until later in the experience. The primary benefit i had was the cessation of my hyper-sexuality and major anabolic cycle mood swings, but you dont have that issue thank god... Watch out for depression!!!!!!!!

Your log is going to be a great record, keep it up! I dont think anyone has recorded it in this detail for the board!

[sag111 (imported)]

I just read your threads Ramses and yes I do understand what you are going through it isent easy when we live with a wife who likes bitching more then being plesent.I canot tell you I didnt choose castration just because I needed to controal my temper around my wife when she is bitching but yes it did play a part.I have to say folks castration has saved my sanity and I dont think I am alone in this thinking.Hang in their Ramses and I know you will as the lack of testosterone can get us through a lot of problems that were just so great befor but now we can cope at least thats how it has been for me.........love sag111

[ramses (imported)]

Thanks for your wonderfull replies. Don't get me wrong, I do love my wife very much. She just has a problem sometimes of taking a bitchy approach when it could be handled better with a "sweet" approach. She can also hod a grudge and stay pissed off at someone longer than anyone I've ever met. She has her faults but then again, she'll tell you that I have mine too ( I just can't think of any... LOL!). Again, my main goal for chem cast is for more self control and to become less sex obsessed and less controlled by my dick.

[ramses (imported)]

Day 28

It's been 28 days since taking the initial 2 DP injections and a week since taking a booster shot. Can still get erections with a little bit of effort unless I'm really tired then it's not worth trying. Ejaculate volume seems to have reduced by about 75%.

I'm a bit bummed that I don't get to go home to dallas this weekend. It's bad enough that I only see my girls (age 2.5 and 7.5) on the weekend... I'm working on finding other employment that will have me home every night. Originally, this job probably saved my marriage but it is putting a strain on it now. I originally took this job right after hurricane katrina. I spent a while running a big base camp for first responders which was pretty cool. Past time to go home now.

So far it's been pretty interesting seeing life without the "T" colored glasses. I have no idea what my T level is but I can feel a lot of difference in the way I see things. A hot girl is still a hot girl, but I don't dwell on how much I'd like to get naked with her. My views on women have probably turned a little more pessimistic.

I feel less vulnerable to some girl that would use flirting to get me to do something. I'm more likely to tell her that she can do that as well as I can. I don't know, maybe I'm just in an "asshole" mood today.

[mrt (imported)]

I would have described how I felt in similar fashion. I was maybe even "less" interested in women.

Hot Sexy women = slut. I not only didn't have the slightest interest in having sex with them I judged them harshly.

My family said that I became a much nicer/happier person when I went on HRT. But the truth is more to what you said. I was mean, angry and tired. Getting on a healthy level just made me act normal and for people beat up on by a moody SOB it was like Mr Fun came to live...

Castration level hormones - It just doesn't work for everyone.

Can't tell you if my erections worked then because they don't work period but I was "capable" of doing sex and I was able to orgasm. I just didn't think much of either. Orgasm? Yeah... if felt "nice" Nice?!!? No bombs going off or the room turning it was like eating a piece of candy. nice...

Not the way I want to live life. Having real Passions about things, energy, mood, being able to think clearly and screw!

THATS the life for me...

[ramses (imported)]

I guess I'm feeling a little depressed today. Maybe I need to put away the Blue October & Pink Floyd CD's and put in something elsebut, I don't feel like "cheery and uplifting" music anyways... I'm feeling tired and unmotivated today. Maybe I should drive over to galveston and lay on the beach tomorrow. It sounds kinda fun but I'd have to go by myself and that would be kinda boring and lame.

[DeaconBlues (imported)]

Oh how I would like to pair up with you Ramses! I sooooooo miss the water. Currently, I am living (LANDLOCKED) in Arizona, a wierd train of events put me here, and here to stay. I remember my time in the navy, and I tell you honestly, there was NEVER a time when I went to the beach without feeling good. For me at least, time on the beach was always good, and infinitely more effective than any of that garbage doctors push on you to pull you out of depression (i.e. paxil, zoloft, prozac, etc.)

I have never been to Galveston, and I have heard some really bad things about how polluted the water is around there, are those stories true?

I have been to Corpus Christi, one time for a flight physical, and one time for a conference, but I did not get to the beach either time.

[ramses (imported)]

The water is murky for a few miles out from the many rivers that feed into the gulf there. It's not "polluted" any more than anywhere else, really. The Galveston beaches are kept reasonably clean of seaweed and trash.

It makes me irate to see garbage washed up on the beach or anywhere for that matter. For all the "texas" flag waving in this state, there sure are alot of people that illegally dump garbage all over the place. At least the highway litter has got better since I was a kid.

Back on the subject, I wish you were here. I'd drive us to the beach tomorrow. If someone else can make it, speak up. We can lay on the beach, look at hot bodies and not get a hard on... LOL!!!