Tried Chem Castration without telling wife?

[ramses (imported)]

Is there anyone out there that has used any form of chemical castration without telling wife? If so, how did it turn out?

I did 3 monts of depo 2 years ago and didn't tell my wife. I know she noticed that erections wern't as fast and hard as before but I never became too big of an issue (no pun intended). I may have blamed it on Prozac which I was taking to tolerate her. She like me taking it because I put up with more of her BS without going balistic.

Since Hurricane Katrina, I have worked out of town and come home on weekends. That's been hard on both of us especially since she's pretty sure I had an affair with an old flame. In case you wonder, yes I'm guilty. She's 95% sure that I had an affair. If she was 100% she probably would have divorced me already. If it wern't for my 2 daughters (age 2 & 7) I wouldn't care if we sepparated. But since women automatically get the kids in this country, unless you can prove beyond any doubt that the mother is unfit, it is in their best interest that I be around.

Anyways, I ordered more depo from inhouse and I'm debating if I should tell her or blame it on SSRI's that I started taking again last month. I think that since she worries that I'm boinking an out of town girl that she would be open to the idea of a diminished sex drive. As it is , she only puts out 3-4 times a month and it always seems reluctantly. If I dont initiate, nothing happens. I'm curious what she'd do if I just quit initiating? One time I did that with just sheer willpower and she broke down crying after a month, thinking I wasn't interested in her anymore. That was 12 years ago when we were 25 when we were active almost every night. Interested how she'd react now...

So, what do you al think?

[mrt (imported)]

Is there anyone out there that has used any form of chemical castration without telling wife? If so, how did it turn out?

I did 3 monts of depo 2 years ago and didn't tell my wife. I know she noticed that erections wern't as fast and hard as before but I never became too big of an issue (no pun intended). I may have blamed it on Prozac which I was taking to tolerate her. She like me taking it because I put up with more of her BS without going balistic.

Since Hurricane Katrina, I have worked out of town and come home on weekends. That's been hard on both of us especially since she's pretty sure I had an affair with an old flame. In case you wonder, yes I'm guilty. She's 95% sure that I had an affair. If she was 100% she probably would have divorced me already. If it wern't for my 2 daughters (age 2 & 7) I wouldn't care if we sepparated. But since women automatically get the kids in this country, unless you can prove beyond any doubt that the mother is unfit, it is in their best interest that I be around.

Anyways, I ordered more depo from inhouse and I'm debating if I should tell her or blame it on SSRI's that I started taking again last month. I think that since she worries that I'm boinking an out of town girl that she would be open to the idea of a diminished sex drive. As it is , she only puts out 3-4 times a month and it always seems reluctantly. If I dont initiate, nothing happens. I'm curious what she'd do if I just quit initiating? One time I did that with just sheer willpower and she broke down crying after a month, thinking I wasn't interested in her anymore. That was 12 years ago when we were 25 when we were active almost every night. Interested how she'd react now...

So, what do you al think?

Control issues in marriage are complex. It sounds like you already have tried depo. Did you need the prozac to deal with hormonal depression?

My opinion or take on this is that you want a wife with a stronger sex drive. Correct? Frying yours will only make her feel worthless. Chem Castration may give you the option of not caring but lets face it. Orgasm? It feels pretty great. Are you going to be happy giving that up?

Maybe the solution is to try to dial hers up rather then turn yours off? Have you and her ever talked about HRT? Is she in menopause??? If not is she willing to talk to a sex therapy person with you?

Communications is the best thing you can do for your marriage. I also think you should not be getting intimate with other women. If your family is important keep that in mind.

Good luck I hope my advice is of some value.

[DonnyMac (imported)]

I think I speak for many married men. It is not always easy to change behavior and drive in your partner. Sometimes it is best to control what you can control and take it on yourself to more closely match drive by lowering yours. Good luck.

Don

[HairyHarry (imported)]

I think I speak for many married men. It is not always easy to change behavior and drive in your partner. Sometimes it is best to control what you can control and take it on yourself to more closely match drive by lowering yours. Good luck.

Don

I agree.

[ramses (imported)]

She is probably a normal 37 yo woman. I have a drive that's through the roof and would love to have it cut back since it's such a distraction. I'd like to have a hobby besides porn and erotic stories on asstr.org. I tried it for three months a while back and loved it. It really takes the NEED to stick your dick

in somebody. I think if women know what most men were thinking and how often they thought it, they would be horrified.

I'm leaning on telling her. I joked about it a few years ago and she seemed receptive. We'll just see if she can live without a large rock-hard penis whenever she wants it. My first thought is I'd like to see her get it from another man but if my libido was lowered, I don't know if I would be ok with that fantasy since depo provera drastically reduces paraphillic fantasys.

It will be interesting to see how it changes the power dynamic in the relationship if she can not use sex as a power source.

[Kangan (imported)]

She is probably a normal 37 yo woman. I have a drive that's through the roof and would love to have it cut back since it's such a distraction. I'd like to have a hobby besides porn and erotic stories on asstr.org. I tried it for three months a while back and loved it. It really takes the NEED to stick your dick

in somebody. I think if women know what most men were thinking and how often they thought it, they would be horrified.

I'm leaning on telling her. I joked about it a few years ago and she seemed receptive. We'll just see if she can live without a large rock-hard penis whenever she wants it. My first thought is I'd like to see her get it from another man but if my libido was lowered, I don't know if I would be ok with that fantasy since depo provera drastically reduces paraphillic fantasys.

It will be interesting to see how it changes the power dynamic in the relationship if she can not use sex as a power source.

Go for it. I'm at least half gone on my sex drive thanks to a clamping experiment that worked exactly as intended. My fantasy to watch my wife with another man is still there despite a lowered sex drive. Now I just need to find the right man.... :dong:

[DeaconBlues (imported)]

I took depo provera for four wonderful months and loved it, and NO, I did not tell my wife. Like you Ramses, I loved the fact that I could just relax and not think so much on sex all the time when I was on depo provera. Other people here talk about severe depression after chemical or surgical castration, but honestly, I had quite the reverse effect when I was on depo provera, I never felt so happy and content before or since.

Now, I would really like to offer a different suggestion to you: TELL your wife that you will take the depo provera injections, maybe even let her do the injectioins so that she KNOWS that you are gonna "be a good boy." Explain that you want to reduce your sex drive, in part so that she will not worry about what you might do when you are away working. After you have been on the depo provera a few weeks, if you are anything like me, you will not have any of the normal male insecurity or jealousy about your wife being with other men, and at that time you might explain to your wife that as long as she is tasteful and discrete, you won't mind if she is with another man. Give her a chance to lay to rest all the guilt trips she wants to play on you for anything she thinks you might have done.

[mrt (imported)]

Humm... Well my take on how women think might be jaded. I've had some experience with dealing with women on a support group for men who suffer from impotence and or sex drive problems. I guess I'm coming at this from the opposite direction. I had low to no sex drive. Got on hormones and am glad I did. My life (married and otherwise) was sucking. Thus the Mr T (For Testosterone not Trouble like the real Mr T)

Its a very general statement and not true in all cases but I "think" Women are more into sex then I thought. And maybe more then you think? I can't address your interest in having your wife be with other guys I don't think thats healthy in todays world of STDs or as a "fix" for your guilt? Or a kink. I dunno. I just don't get it so I'll stop there on that.

Here is what some of the women I talk to say they are thinking. If he is into "porn" why fool with Videos or stories by himself when I sitting right here? In other words if your horny why waste time getting off on solo stuff. It doesn't improve your relationship and the energy you spend might make your sex life together more worthwhile?

What about porn or stories does it for you? Can you include her in that? For instance "Adult Video" night? Share what kinds of things turn you on and find out what she digs. Learn what she is also not willing to try. If you have guidelines then you can work within them? Making your love life more wild and exciting together sounds more appealing to me but I'm brimming with Testosterone (And love it)

If none of that makes sense I guess I would agree that you should include your wife in your decision if you really bent on chemical castration. From my personal experience when your Testosterone goes low enough the appeal of anything sexual is going to tank. You won't be into her having sex with you or other guys or anything else. But as we say here "Your results may vary"

Mostly with screwed up hormones I had anxiety attacks. I was unable to make up my mind. I was angry. I could no longer sit down and read an book and I was asleep a lot and saw the positive side to croaking. Life had no "spark" for me. I admit others here report different results. If a guy has a criminaly crazy sex drive getting rid of it would (I assume) be a huge relief. Some maybe posting how great it is but only as a fantasy? I dunno... I would add one thing. DO talk to your MD if you do this. You will want (at least) liver tests to see that your not injuring your health. And dialing down everything too low might be a danger so having an occasional hormone panel would be good as well.

She is probably a normal 37 yo woman. I have a drive that's through the roof and would love to have it cut back since it's such a distraction. I'd like to have a hobby besides porn and erotic stories on asstr.org. I tried it for three months a while back and loved it. It really takes the NEED to stick your dick

in somebody. I think if women know what most men were thinking and how often they thought it, they would be horrified.

I'm leaning on telling her. I joked about it a few years ago and she seemed receptive. We'll just see if she can live without a large rock-hard penis whenever she wants it. My first thought is I'd like to see her get it from another man but if my libido was lowered, I don't know if I would be ok with that fantasy since depo provera drastically reduces paraphillic fantasys.

It will be interesting to see how it changes the power dynamic in the relationship if she can not use sex as a power source.

[ramses (imported)]

I have a strange feeling that if I can't get it up anymore, she will want sex more! LOL.... I know she's never cheated and i have a feeling she'd be deeply offended if i suggested her be with anyone else. When I did 3 months of DP 2 years ago, I felt comfortable and calm. Still had interest in sex, just wasn't obsessesed with it. I even quit masturbating except to see if I still could. One thing is for sure, after spending some time and getting an erection, I had to work REALLY hard to get off. She may have liked that. But then again, I faked orgasm half the time because it just wasnt worth all the work. It felt just as good to just lay naked against her. As soon as I quit trying, I would loose the erection just as I had got off so she was really none the wiser.

[consideringthecut (imported)]

I go along with DonnieMac and Hairy. I'm never going to change my wife to my satisfaction. It's damn near hard enough changing me. I'm waiting to start DP until I can get the assistance of an MD - hopefully soon. I haven't decided whether to tell my wife. I've got an overnight trip to Las Vegas in September, so that's one reason to tell her, because I know she's pretty nervous about me being in Sin City, even for one night.