Why I feel the need for penectomy and/or castration

[Rambler56 (imported)]

I guess, with me, it really boils down to the fact that I want to be with women and to not have sexual desire for them, when it is not appropriate to feel so. Also, there is the underlying fact that I do not trust other men and I don't want to be like them, I don't want to feel the need to use women and throw them away, as so many men do. I HATE the men who are cruel and unloving, and do not recognize the beauty of the female mind, as they are so preoccupied with the female body. I love women and I see many of them as far better people than most men.

I watch the news and read the paper and I see there are some very bad things happening and they mostly lead back to men and their sicknesses. Nearly every woman I have ever been close to has been hurt by a man or by several men in their lives. Bad, bad things. Rapes, molestations and abuse. Mostly it comes from men and is directed at women and children. I despise these men and my penis and testicles remind me of these evil, bad things that men do.

There are very few men whom I have any sort of trust in, my father being the first and by-far the foremost. Other than him, there are only a few men who I am not totally suspicious of. I know that not all men are bad, some are very nice and kind, though they are few and far between. Many men are very good actors and liars, it makes it hard to trust any.

I have an analogy which I use to express the way I feel about other men, it goes like this:

Your at the zoo, right. You walk up to the bear pit, there is a sign which reads, "There are 9 bears in this pit, 4 of them are very nice and would not ever hurt a human, the others will hurt you and eat you alive." You slip and fall into the pit. Are you going to trust any of the bears?

[mrt (imported)]

I guess, with me, it really boils down to the fact that I want to be with women and to not have sexual desire for them, when it is not appropriate to feel so. Also, there is the underlying fact that I do not trust other men and I don't want to be like them, I don't want to feel the need to use women and throw them away, as so many men do. I HATE the men who are cruel and unloving, and do not recognize the beauty of the female mind, as they are so preoccupied with the female body. I love women and I see many of them as far better people than most men.

I watch the news and read the paper and I see there are some very bad things happening and they mostly lead back to men and their sicknesses. Nearly every woman I have ever been close to has been hurt by a man or by several men in their lives. Bad, bad things. Rapes, molestations and abuse. Mostly it comes from men and is directed at women and children. I despise these men and my penis and testicles remind me of these evil, bad things that men do.

There are very few men whom I have any sort of trust in, my father being the first and by-far the foremost. Other than him, there are only a few men who I am not totally suspicious of. I know that not all men are bad, some are very nice and kind, though they are few and far between. Many men are very good actors and liars, it makes it hard to trust any.

I have an analogy which I use to express the way I feel about other men, it goes like this:

Your at the zoo, right. You walk up to the bear pit, there is a sign which reads, "There are 9 bears in this pit, 4 of them are very nice and would not ever hurt a human, the others will hurt you and eat you alive." You slip and fall into the pit. Are you going to trust any of the bears?

Bears is bears but - I don't think you should alter yourself because of what a small minority of evil men in the world do. Should we all kill ourselves because Hitler murdered 6 million people? Of course not. Should you emasculate yourself because some evil men rape and murder? Also - of course not. Have you considered talking to a professional counceler? He/she could help you a lot and perhapes help you find some peace.

I think you should consider how difficult it might be for many women to be with you if you had this surgery. I don't feel that "sex" is bad. And I think many women would loudly agree with me.

[transward (imported)]

I admit I am not a therapist, and I do not mean this in any way as criticism, but that sounds more like justification than motivation.(i.e. "I want this, so I need a good reason to get it," as opposed to "I have come to this conclusion and the logical course of action is therefore ...") A great number of people come to the same conclusion as you, but few would find yours the logical response. Which is not necessarily a reason not to do it, after all you do want it. As Crowley said "Do what thou wilt. That is the Law and that is All of the Law." Just be sure you know what thou wilt.

[Rambler56 (imported)]

I have peace. I am just exploring my sexuality. I am speaking of things I feel, not things I simply think when I speak of my desire for emasculation. As to seeing a shrink, no, I would get put away faster than I could turn around to run. Professionals tend to only look at the bare facts and not the whole person, at least that has been my experience, and I have spoken with a few in my time and have much experience. Most, all but one really, seem to grasp onto the broad facts and not see the entire story. If I went to a professional and told him or her that I had thoughts of cutting off my penis, they would only see that and not really hear all the words that follow. They would think I WAS going to actually wack it off and would JUDGE me accordingly, saying I am a danger to myself and others. They have. I have been locked up a few times because 'professionals' deemed me unfit to live in society, mostly because they could not understand me. I have a strange outlook on life and it is very hard to explain to professionals that what I think is not what I am planning on doing in reality. I have tried to talk to professionals about these things, and the myriad of other 'problems' I have, and it always ends the same, I get locked up and lost in the system. Fuck that.

That is why I am here, to seek the help and inspiration of my peers, not people who think their shit don't stink because they have a degree on the wall.

Perhaps, I don't even want to slice off my cock, I do not know. Again, that is why I am here on EA, to explore these feeling which I have kept bottled inside for too many years.

It does seem more like justification, I know it does.

And I don't want to be with 'many women', I just want one.

I don't think sex is bad either. I love sex, it is one of the most intense things two people can share. And I know most women enjoy sex just as much as I do, more perhaps.

And, maybe I've met all the wrong men, but it seems almost all that I have any contact with, sex is the first thing on their minds, or they treat and regard women badly or they cannot feel, or truly love.

Though perhaps it is just that most humans are owners of shallow hearts, because I can also think of many women who do the same sorts of things.

Maybe I don't give people enough credit. I know there are more good people in the world than bad, but it is the few bad ones, like Hitler, who have brought pain and misery to billions over the course of humanity's rather short existence. I just seems like, as is, that most horrible things are done by men.

Yeah bears is bears and man is man, man is by far the more dangerous of the two. In fact, we are by far the most dangerous thing to ever have existed on this planet.

[liz (imported)]

I guess, with me, it really boils down to the fact that I want to be with women and to not have sexual desire for them, when it is not appropriate to feel so. Also, there is the underlying fact that I do not trust other men and I don't want to be like them, I don't want to feel the need to use women and throw them away, as so many men do. I HATE the men who are cruel and unloving, and do not recognize the beauty of the female mind, as they are so preoccupied with the female body. I love women and I see many of them as far better people than most men.

I watch the news and read the paper and I see there are some very bad things happening and they mostly lead back to men and their sicknesses. Nearly every woman I have ever been close to has been hurt by a man or by several men in their lives. Bad, bad things. Rapes, molestations and abuse. Mostly it comes from men and is directed at women and children. I despise these men and my penis and testicles remind me of these evil, bad things that men do.

There are very few men whom I have any sort of trust in, my father being the first and by-far the foremost. Other than him, there are only a few men who I am not totally suspicious of. I know that not all men are bad, some are very nice and kind, though they are few and far between. Many men are very good actors and liars, it makes it hard to trust any.

I have an analogy which I use to express the way I feel about other men, it goes like this:

Your at the zoo, right. You walk up to the bear pit, there is a sign which reads, "There are 9 bears in this pit, 4 of them are very nice and would not ever hurt a human, the others will hurt you and eat you alive." You slip and fall into the pit. Are you going to trust any of the bears?

Hello Jess1456,

From a woman: YOU ARE RIGHT. I could say this 100 times. Don't doubt your own perceptions. Women are hurting. Women are being emotionally and physically hammered by men. The number one cause of injuries to women, more than car accidents or anything else, is men, specifically husbands and boyfriends (not even random psychopaths).

That is a very insightful perception again, on your part, on the observation that we are a planet of shallow hearts. I have begun to think that no man could ever see the viewpoint of a woman, but you have written of a big issue here. I have come from a long line of women who have lived tragic short lives, used and abused. I realize there are evil women in the world. I also realize that women themselves need to wake up and smell the coffee so to speak.

But sometimes we women just believe that you guys love us as much as we love you. I mean LOVE, guys, not sex. Love for a person, not for a body. We are victimized by our own faith in you. We believe our husbands surely would not leave a whole family and a whole history together just for some roll in the hay with some teenager (ha, false there!)

Men may just be under the influence of a powerful drug, testosterone, that makes them blind to the pain of others, and only seeing their own desires. Men do some crazy things that are harmful to themselves too, such as road rage, bar fights, etc. Testosterone would seem to contribute to aggression, anger.

But I know if I were a man, I would be having thoughts like you are having. I commend those men here who think of eunuchism in order to be more compassionate people. Minimally, girls and women MUST be educated young about how men think of them. We MUST be informed that men have strong drives that are not necessarily in womens' best interests. Women bear the next generation. If future kids are to grow up sane, women had better be treated better so they can treat kids decently.

THANK YOU for posting this. Do not believe what shrinks say. Freud was a man, and probably custom-made psychiatry so that men could get more sex. Psychiatry has resulted in a society that is more animal than human, and drug-addicted to boot.

Don't doubt your own perceptions. If you want to view the world from a viewpoint of less testosterone, maybe try as some here recommend the chemical route first. Then you will see the world as others see it, as women and old people and children see things. Might be a revelation! One man said to me it was a whole new world. (A new eunuch).

Your perceptions are correct, just many people are too uncomfortable about this to look beneath the surface. Well done for observing a tough phenomenon that few men will look at.

Liz