Napoleon's Penis

[JesusA (imported)]

Collect-Me-Nots

By JUDITH PASCOE

Published: May 17, 2007

THE owner of Napoleon’s penis died last Thursday in Englewood, N.J. John K. Lattimer, who’d been a Columbia University professor and a collector of military (and some macabre) relics, also possessed Lincoln’s blood-stained collar and Hermann Göring’s cyanide ampoule. But the penis, which supposedly had been severed by a priest who administered last rites to Napoleon and overstepped clerical boundaries, stood out (sorry) from the professor’s collection of medieval armor, Civil War rifles and Hitler drawings.

The chances that Napoleon’s penis would be excised so that it could become a souvenir were improved by his having lived and died at a moment when the physical remains of celebrities held a strong attraction. Shakespeare didn’t become Shakespeare until the dawn of the romantic period, when his biography was written, his plays annotated and his belongings sought out and preserved. Trees that stood outside the bard’s former homes were felled to provide Shakespearean lumber for tea chests and tobacco stoppers.

After Napoleon’s capture at Waterloo, his possessions toured England. His carriage, filled with enticing contents like a gold tongue scraper, a flesh brush, “Cashimeer small-clothes” and a chocolate pot, drew crowds and inspired the poet Byron to covet a replica. When Napoleon died, the trees that lined his grave site at St. Helena were slivered into souvenirs.

The belief that objects are imbued with a lasting essence of their owners, taken to its logical extreme, led to the mind-set that caused Mary Shelley to keep her husband’s heart, dried to a powder, in her desk drawer. Of course, relic collecting long predates the romantic period; medieval pilgrims sought out fragments of the True Cross. In the aftermath of the Reformation, religious relics that had been ejected from monasteries joined secular collections that freely intermingled belemnites with saints’ finger bones. When Keats died, his hair took on the numinous appeal of a religious artifact.

Napoleon’s penis was not the only Napoleonic body part that became grist for the relic mill. Two pieces of Napoleon’s intestine, acquired by the Museum of the Royal College of Surgeons of England in 1841, provoked a long-simmering debate beginning in 1883. That year, Sir James Paget called the specimens’ authenticity into question, contrasting their seemingly cancerous protrusions to the sound tissue Napoleon’s doctor had earlier described. In 1960, the dispute continued in The Annals of the Royal College of Surgeons of England, long after the intestine pieces had been destroyed during a World War II air raid.

Dr. Lattimer, a urologist, could claim a professional interest in Napoleon’s genitalia. Not so its previous owner, the Philadelphia bookseller and collector A. S. W. Rosenbach, who took a “Rabelaisian delight” in the relic, according to his biographer, Edwin Wolf. When Rosenbach put the penis on display at the Museum of French Art in New York, visitors peered into a vitrine to see something that looked like a maltreated shoelace, or a shriveled eel.

Whether the object prized by Dr. Lattimer was actually once attached to Napoleon may never be resolved. Some historians doubt that the priest could have managed the organ heist when so many people were passing in and out of the emperor’s death chamber. Others suggest he may have removed only a partial sample. If enough people believe in a possibly spurious penis, does it become real?

The pathos of Napoleon’s penis — bandied about over the decades, barely recognizable as a human body part — conjures up the seamier side of the collecting impulse. If, as Freud suggested, the collector is a sexually maladjusted misanthrope, then the emperor’s phallus is a collector’s object nonpareil, the epitome of male potency and dominance. The ranks of Napoleon enthusiasts, it should be noted, include many alpha males: Bill Gates, Newt Gingrich, Stanley Kubrick, Winston Churchill, Augusto Pinochet. Nevertheless, the Freudian paradigm has never accounted for women collectors, nor does it explain the appeal of collections for artists like Lisa Milroy, whose paintings of cabinet handles or shoes, arrayed in series, animate these common objects.

It’s time to let Napoleon’s penis rest in peace. Museums are quietly de-accessioning the human remains of indigenous peoples so that body parts can be given proper burial rites. Napoleon’s penis, too, should be allowed to go home and rejoin the rest of his captivating body.

Judith Pascoe, a professor of English at the University of Iowa, is the author of “The Hummingbird Cabinet: A Rare and Curious History of Romantic Collectors.”

The New York Times

Thursday, May 17, 2007

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/17/opini ... ref=slogin

[mickeyh3 (imported)]

Napoleon's penis? Only one of them?

At one point there were reputedly fourteen churches in Italy, each of which had the Holy Foreskin. One church in Spain was in possession of multiple Foreskins. Now that's a miracle!

[IbPervert (imported)]

Personally I think it would cool to go see a collection of famous and not so famous dicks and balls.

[homptydumpty (imported)]

the penis should be returned to its owner!

z

[kristoff]

the penis should be returned to its owner!

z

It would probably magically enliven and re-erect the little prick - er, tyrant!

[IbPervert (imported)]

When Mrs Bobbitt threw the penis out the window, it hit the front car window of an elderly couple. The old women turned to her husband and said, "Big mosquitoes around these parts."

Unfortunately you would have to be a Doctor to be able to collect such parts. Imagine a Doctor giving you a discount on your castration if you 1) fill in a survey, and 2) He/she gets to keep the parts.

[kristoff]

When Mrs Bobbitt threw the penis out the window, it hit the front car window of an elderly couple. The old women turned to her husband and said, "Big mosquitoes around these parts." .

Not as big as Minnesota. We send small children and dogs out into the woods as sacrificial diversions ahead of hiking parties. The skeeters carry them off, and everyone else is off free.

Unfortunately you would have to be a Doctor to be able to collect such parts. Imagine a Doctor giving you a discount on your castration if you 1) fill in a survey, and 2) He/she gets to keep the parts.

Nah, you don't have to be a doctor to collect them - at least in the US - so far as I know. You need to be a doctor in order to legally harvest them. In any case, after a surgery, the doctors usually keep the parts anyway (no discount on returned parts).

Now for those supporting a museum, especially dedicated to the human species, I suspect it would be a financial failure. I would never pay to go to a museum to see a bunch of pricks. We already pay a lot for a collection of fossilized pricks who fuck us, demand our money, and interfere with our lives. It is called the *legislature* (or name the august body of choice).

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

Oooohh, Aren't we sharp for so early in the morning?! --FLO--

[Beau Geste (imported)]

For those interested in it, there is an extensive literature on the theory that Napoleon escaped from Saint Helena, and some evidence does seem to support the idea. There were supposedly discrepancies between the body that was autopsied after the fellow who was supposed to be Napoleon died, and characteristics of Napoleon which were in French army records. Haven't kept up on this, but I think some researchers have concluded the odds are about 50-50 that Napoleon did escape, or the British covertly allowed him to leave the island. If Napoleon did get off Saint Helena alive, it seems unlikely that he got back to Europe. Napoleon's tomb, of course, is in Paris. Most of him is presumably there, anyway.

[twaddler (imported)]

I want Cat Stevens' penis. In a jar.