Nothing more to life, than friendship?

[homptydumpty (imported)]

Thinking about all the people on this earth, all my friends/accountancies, I cannot help but wonder how I feel so alone.

I must be a loner. What made me realize this, yesterday, rather the night before last I woke up early morning, with a full blaater and jumped out of bed to run to the toilet, grabbing for the early 1900’s glass doorknob and giving it a good turn and push I walked right into the solid oak door.

I was locked in my closet of a room with no light, and nowhere to pee other than my nalgeen bottle. Feeling helpless I tried the door again, turning the knob as hard as possible until it began unscrewing. I was screwed. I pissed in my bottle, and lay back down, without a panic; I try not to do that. I fell back asleep!

When I woke back up to my alarm, I was helplessly alone, locked in a dark closet. Thank god I sleep with my phone by my side. Or so I thought.

To make an already to drawn out long story short, I scrolled threw my friends and family’s names and number until my self phone battery was just about threw, I couldn’t think of one single person to call. No friends in the area, really. I called my mom. She walked me threw kicking the door in. setting myself free and thanking my mom for answering this time, if not any other.

I felt alone, more than ever. Thinking that there are no real friends to call when I am helpless.

I see all the happy couples and clichés. Why am I alone?

I am sure that the separation from society goes back further than my castration.

The question on my mind is, do other eunuchs feel this alone? Is there hope for a real relationship? Or do eunuchs grow old alone?

Are any of the eunuchs amongst me here in the archive attached or in a healthy relationship? I don’t mean to pry. I need help. I don’t want to be alone for eternity.

z

[tugon (imported)]

One of the first things I noticed after castration is how much I wanted and needed affection. My existing friends became so much more important to me. People who were not truly friends and out to use me were easy to discard. I think you might be going through this stage of change.

Yes you will need people more now than before. As you work through this you will make better friends and be a better friend. The need for love, affection and friends is very powerful for some eunuchs. With the greater need will be a greater sense of loneliness until you make new relationships.

I photograph weddings and sometimes I would feel so sad being there alone while all the happy couples were sharing in the joy of the newlyweds. At first it does seem like everyone has someone but many people are alone.

I have had someone in my life that helps with these emotions. We have our ups and downs and we may end up together or go our seperate ways. There are others with more stable relationships here on the EA that can give good advice. Either way you need to make new friends and I hope you find love.

As far as someone to call if you need to speak to a eunuch I would be available to listen and share any experiences I have had. I am sure there are others that would be available to you when you need to talk.

[truly committed (imported)]

aww z you are so cute, inside and outside..its hard for most people to find "their favourite" but especially hard for people who r differnt, which many of us here are..

ofcourse there is hope, never give up!! n e v e r, as long as you breathe...there is so much hope..he/she whoever you are looking for, may be looking for you.

right this second, they are wishing they could have someone like you!!!!!!!

im sure of it..i feel the pain of being alone and feeling alone and feeling like an alien or an outsider.......

its hard...but we have to go on and give an example to others.

yes its hard to find the special people, but they are out there...we are just spread all over the world....

[bobbie (imported)]

For most of my life I was very much a loner. No one I could really call a friend. If I needed to be taken to the doctor I would be hard pressed on who to call for help.

Then I started on androcur and a strange thing happened. For once in my life I felt alone. I started to want people in my life. I started making friends with in this site. Became very close to two people. One is now my partner and the outer is my very best friend. It is very easy to talk to them about castration for both are eunuch's as well. I have made many more friends. Almost all have been made from here.

I do think your emotions do change with castration. Your needs are different. The type of friend now may be far different then the ones you had in the past. This is a new and different life.

[DeaconBlues (imported)]

I know EXACTLY what you are talking about Homptydumty. I felt so lonely sometimes. For the first time in my life, I REALLY understood how you could want to sleep with somebody, and not have any sexual desire at all.

But never forget what Tugon said because I am sure he is right:

"

As far as someone to call if you need to speak to a eunuch I would be available to listen and share any experiences I have had. I am sure there are others that would be available to you when you need to talk.

"

I am certain there are a LOT of people here (myself certainly) who would give you their telephone numbers if you just want to talk and make friends.

[sag111 (imported)]

I need friendship now more then i used to also but for me it has worked out very well as my wife knows i am not out having sex or cheeting on her.She lets me have my women friends now and i can say i now have more women then i ever had befor as dear friends.I get along with my wife better also but i do love the women in my life and the dear friends they have become.As I read your story i felt so bad for you but if I could give you any advice it would be to just treat people as you would like to be treated and show them love I have found many wonderful and lasting friendships this way.But I am a chatter and love interacting with people but now that I have no testosterone I just love people more.God blass you my friend and do take care

[wolverine1 (imported)]

aww z you are so cute, inside and outside..its hard for most people to find "their favourite" but especially hard for people who r differnt, which many of us here are..

yes its hard to find the special people, but they are out there...we are just spread all over the world....

I second that motion! I've been trying for years to find 'the one', but instead I find lots of 'ones' that are right for the time and place (btw no, I don't mean one nighters!), I mean that the match between me and somebody else is good for that particular part of our lives - when we have parted, I'm not saying it wasn't painful, but obviously fate has something else in store...

as for being alone, yes, those of us who are viewed as different by mainstream society feel it more acutely than the 'norms' ; we have aspects in our lives that many of us are not lucky enough to be able to discuss as openly with other people as we would like, which I find (personally speaking) makes that sense of being alone more stinging...

BUTBUTBUT!!! that is why the EA is such a truly fantastic place! I mean on this one site, it's almost like having a worldwide extended family that understands the thoughts and feelings we have, and all the bonuses of that just keep coming - If someone had told me 15 years ago that I would be discussing having my balls cut off with other people who wouldn't think I was crazy i'd probably have passed out from shock! I really cannot express fully how happy I was/am to have found the EA and everybody here

I know it's hard at times z. but believe me - your time will come to find that special person and they'll be one of the luckiest people out there to have found you!

It's a shame i'm not with you right now, then I could give you a proper hug, so i'll send you this thought instead for now... hope things look up for u soon!

[truly committed (imported)]

i woke up earlier, i took a nap-i didnt mean it to last so long..i felt so alone...i wanted someone in my bed, just to hug and touch and know they are there-i dont care if its a girl or boy!!!!

..but now im here and i feel much better, knowing you people are out there

[wolverine1 (imported)]

i woke up earlier, i took a nap-i didnt mean it to last so long..i felt so alone...i wanted someone in my bed, just to hug and touch and know they are there-i dont care if its a girl or boy!!!!

*jumps up and down* "volunteering for hugging duty, sir!!"

[plix (imported)]

I'm a loner by nature and largely by preference. Always have been. Neither getting cut nor going back on T changed that at all.

Aside from the friends I've met here and other places online, I don't really have many friends. I guess you could call Ken's friends my friends too, and speaking of him, I did manage to find someone for a romantic relationship if that is what you are after

It doesn't bother me too much, but it never has. Most people don't seem to understand that one could actually prefer to be alone, but for me that is the case. I'm just not a people person

Yes, we all do need friends, even me, and I certainly would not argue with a close real life friend or two. But preferably no more. To me quality is more important than quantity. I don't really understand how all these people seem to keep up with more than a hundred or two friends I also have higher standards for friendship than most people do, which makes it harder for me to find people I can really call friends.

I wouldn't worry too much because there are plenty of people out there who are potential friendship and relationship material. And you always have me. I have definitely enjoyed the e-mail correspondence we have had and would love to continue having more