Choke a bitch? No thanks, I just ate.

[twaddler (imported)]

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's President Bush's clock?" asked the man.

"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

[clapner (imported)]

Did he say where Bill Clinton's clock was?

[Kangan (imported)]

Did he say where Bill Clinton's clock was?

Never mind Bill's clock - I'll bet Hillary's is also in use as a ceiling fan.

[DewMeAlso (imported)]

Never mind Bill's clock - I'll bet Hillary's is also in use as a ceiling fan.

Actually, they use them both on high speed helicopters...

[kristoff]

Actually, they use them both on high speed helicopters...

If that were the case, then Bush and Rove's are used as turbine fans on supersonic jets..... Ceiling fans would just be too slow

[wolverine1 (imported)]

tanglog, u r a seriously funny guy!

[Dave (imported)]

WHAT is on your nose?

A binder clip?

All I gotta say is, I didn't fart!

[twaddler (imported)]

Yup, some large ass paper clip. I really like how it feels to clip that to the skin on my hands and at that time I was drunk and tried to clip it on my nose just for the hell of it.

[Dave (imported)]

ok, I just never thought of using a binder clip that way. It must be a new thing.

[Kangan (imported)]

Yup, some large ass paper clip. I really like how it feels to clip that to the skin on my hands and at that time I was drunk and tried to clip it on my nose just for the hell of it.

On your nose? Why not get a bigger one and clip it lower down - much lower down.