Bisexuality question

[twaddler (imported)]

Some theories say that everyone is basically bisexual, which kinda goes against Kristof''s theory

I found myself attracted to a female at my subtstance abuse group therapy thingie last year, which is kind of a rarity for me. Though not physically attracted, she just seemed incredibly quirky and interesting. I remember fantasizing about cuddling with her while having long, fascinating conversations wit her on abstract, bizarre subjects.

Though I still have to say vaginas are icky. But large breasts can make what is possibly the most comfortable damn pillow(s).

[satanherself (imported)]

According to some recently published studies, it most likely means you are either a liar, or totally self-ignorant. Most people studied who claimed to be bisexual, showed definite and distinct preferences for one sex over another when stimulated.

Personally, I have often suspected that many folks who claim to be bisexual are those who are confused and can't make up their minds, or are being coy and hiding their real inclinations.

I can see where that might be the case,,when asked I say Bi,yet prefer women.

Though if in a 3 some,would want a boy and girl..Then again,I would think when one may beinthe "heat of teh moment" then what every the feelings are ,it could go either way..I think of "bi" as just a ,,not limiting myself to either sex.

Then again It's really no ones business who I sleep with hence not saying anything works just fine too

[sapient (imported)]

To say something more personal, and perhaps more in answer to Kangans original question, I actually don't think the sex of the person having sex with me matters any more.

I say "having sex with me" because nowdays I'm strictly passive. I was never comfortable with sex they way it was "supposed" to work, and the sex I have today is about completely different things.

I wouldn't actively say I'm a mental hermaphrodite myself, because I don't really like the word. But when I'm "trying it on" it seems to fit. Sometimes I feel like I would like to switch sex to accomodate the desires of the partner I'm with at that point.

I still have a preference. I think women on the whole are much prettier to look at. But there are a lot of very good looking men as well, so maybe that preference is nothing more then the remnants of the cultural norm of heterosexuality lingering...

[JesusA (imported)]

Research into sexuality is very unreliable in many respects. One of my favorite examples is the National Survey of Family Growth, conducted by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control in 2002. In this survey they individually administered a detailed questionnaire to over 12,000 individuals in their own homes. The survey questions were asked on a laptop computer and a researcher sat in the same room with the survey participants where he or she was unable to see the screen, but available to answer any questions about the survey as it was being taken.

At one point on the survey, they asked each individual to indicate his or her sexual orientation:

Heterosexual

Homosexual

Bisexual

Other

At another point in the survey, far removed from that question, each individual was asked about sexual attraction and asked to indicate on a FIVE point scale if they were:

1 – Sexually attracted exclusively to males

2

3 – Equally attracted to both males and females

4

5 – Sexually attracted exclusively to females

About twice as many indicated they were bisexual as chose answer number 3 for sexual attraction:

1.8% of males chose bisexual and only 1.0% chose #3

2.8% of females chose bisexual and only 1.9% chose #3.

BUT, what I found most interesting was that 23.2% of males who chose “homosexual” as their sexual orientation indicated that they were “sexually attracted exclusively to FEMALES”!?!?

I knew that survey results were not to be trusted, but this is the most carefully constructed and administered questionnaire that I have yet read where the results appear to be utter nonsense.

I can think of a number of ways to account for the nonsensical answers, but I question anyone who would uncritically use any data from this massive survey.

[Kangan (imported)]

From my own experience, I'd have to say that there are a lot more bisexual men out there than will admit to it - even to themselves. I have also run into a lot of homophobic males - but I wonder how much of that is an over reaction to an inner homosexual orientation which they are denying exists?

Surveys tend to be useless because the subjects will tell the researcher what they think he wants to know. when it is about sex - everyone will lie to a certain extent about their true feelings.

What I was really wanting to know, was this: If you are truly bisexual, would that be more like a true hermaphrodite who has mixed feelings about gender and which sex to make love to? I perceive myself as male, yet I can make love to another man and enjoy him reciprocating. And at the same time, I am deeply in love with my female wife. Or maybe I just don't discriminate?

[kristoff]

This thread is fantastic. Good discussion. The "recent studies" I refer to are the plethismograph studies recently published (I can't cite them off hand - they were in the news in the past several months), matching reactions with visual or other stimuli. Highly suggestive, certainly not conclusive.

Obviously in my second paragraph above, I am being a jaded queer with an abhorrence for closets.... Many people hide out in the open behind an often ambiguous label.... And quite frankly, most of the folks I've met and dealt with over the years who indicated they're bisexual were never anything of the kind.

Kinsey originally supposed that everyone was born essentially bisexual and that we develop preferences over time. I think the biological and other evidences compiled very substantively over the past 2 decades in many respects refutes that or at least discounts it significantly. At least for me, I never developed a "preference," as such; I discovered what is my natural direction and followed it well.

Deacon: I think you have a great deal of pain that goes way beyond this topic. I hope you find the means to heal it. You are correct in terms of history. Today vetting of such studies and reports tends to be very vigorous, but that is by no means any guarantee. I always want to see reports substantiated by several sources, repeatedly.

[truly committed (imported)]

from looking at a site a few days ago, i was shocked as to the number of men who had fantastised about other men during d*i*y. Apprently its one fith of women who are bisexual,. probabaly the same for men......

Its like american beauty right? The neighbour who hates "fags"....but he is attracted to men himself...

Ive wondered this before........you do run into a lot of "macho" men who seem to be stuck in a cave somplace.....

you have to wonder...why they hate gay people so much?maybe hate isnt even the word, but u know what i mean!

[Daughter (imported)]

I don't care what others would label you. I'd say "Dream girl"

The dreams of one man are the designs of sweet horrific nightmares for others.

This, my friend, is truly delicious.

:dong:

[truly committed (imported)]

*

The dreams of one man are the designs of sweet horrific nightmares for others.

*

uh huh , well said....

[FianceeUvBigGuy (imported)]

From the ladies side...

Yolanda T. Partygirl here!

Party time! Fiesta Week in San Antonio! Office is closed for all but essential stuff.

Finally got the leaves and stuff from last night's scary storms out of the pool. Next time, I'll hire a GUY to do it and then sit by the pool in my itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot thong 'kini and drive him crazy.

Anyway, I've been mulling over the question posed here and I guess I must be a true bisexual, if there is such a thing. I say this based on what my actual sexual activity consists of, besides riding the Sybian and stuff that I do alone, that is.

With BigGuy and spouse off at an army post in another state, my opportunities for sex with a "whole" man are non-existent. This is MY choice. Except for when they've come home on leave or when I've traveled to visit them, it's been a dry spell.

I DO have sex with Barry, but he's a post-snip "no-baller", so that must be a different category, right? Also, sex with him is mostly mutual oral since he can't always get his tiny peepee up for the task. Fun though, and much easier on the jaw muscles than BigGuys BigGun (well, he IS a tank officer, )

Then there's Ash(leigh). We live here together, but have seperate bedrooms. We do have girly-girly sex frequently though, so that's another category.

Also, Ash(leigh) and I share Barry often, sometimes "assist" when one of his guy friends is involved (especially the castrated guy from Houston) and that sometimes with one or two of the other ladies in our Kastration Koven. We also enjoy fun and games with the other ladies without Barry present, usually after we watch some kinky vids and/or discuss/fantasize re castration.

So, WHAT AM I???? HELP MEEEE! (Too late, tooooo late.)

So far as the assertion that there is no such thing as a balanced bisexual, well, maybe...maybe not. I'm too confused re my own sexuality to judge myself, much less others.

And now...nap time! Fiesta party tonight!

Love to all, hugs too, maybe a grope for the select few.

Yoli

Somewhere in San Antonio