Never wanted to grow up

[TPinot (imported)]

Hello all,

I've just registered here and I thought I would write a bit about why I want to be castrated.

When I was a child I didn't want to become an adult. The idea of being a large, hairy, smelly man just didn't appeal; I wanted to keep my high voice and smooth, hairless body. I recall putting elastic bands around my testicles on many occasions in the hope that I'd damage them and I'd never go through puberty.

Of course, I did go through puberty. I found it quite difficult. I didn't like how my body developed and I didn't like the new thoughts I found myself having. My body became really rather hairy and my testicles grew very big indeed. I have never got used to my big testicles, they disgust me; I shudder when I touch them. I also don't like having body hair, it just seems completely removed from my self-image.

The worst thing I found, and still find, is the thoughts of sex. I have very intrusive thoughts about sex which I find distressing and unsavoury. I want to get on with my life in a calm, relaxed manner, untroubled by urges to masturbate or have sex. I feel dreadful before, during and after sex, it feels so alien to my psyche and yet I cannot get rid of the urges. I want my mind to be clean of these nasty thoughts and have the calm I felt as a little boy.

From my teenage years I have often thought about castration and how I would like to be a eunuch, it has always seemed like a good solution to my unwanted sexual urges. I'm now 33 and live a good life beyond being plagued by testosterone, so it seems like a good time to have that one problem fixed.

I am going to try chemical castration for a while, and if that is successful I'll seek to have my testicles cut off. Of course, I realise I can never really be a little boy again, but it would be nice to have some of that calm back.

Pinot.

[truly committed (imported)]

I like your message and i hope you get the calm back in your life

[TPinot (imported)]

Thanks, truly.

I've got anti-androgens in the post so I'll soon know if this is right for me.

Pinot.

[bryan (imported)]

Pinot,

I second Truly Committed's sentiments. Hope you achieve your desires, because your heart is certainly in the right place.

If I had known/realized as a teenager the role testosterone had on me in terms of sexual thoughts, and the problems it was going to cause me throughout life, I think I would have sought castration back then.

Terri

[sag111 (imported)]

I know how you feel about testosterone i hated it and feel soooooooo much better now that it is gone.As for growing up i am told i never did and i think everyone who has told me that is right

[TPinot (imported)]

Thanks Terri and sag111 for your supportive words.

Much as I look forward to positive results, I am sure you all understand that starting off on a road like this is a tad unsettling. I suppose my only real worry is depression, but I like to think I am a relatively resilient fellow so I hope this isn't a problem.

My body grew up against my will, but soon I'll have help to stop the effects of that!

Cheers,

Pinot.

[twaddler (imported)]

Ack.. I know what you mean. I really wish I was successful with my castration attempts/desires back at age 12 so I could have skipped puberty altogether.

[Paolo]

Just so you realize that castration will NOT undo adulthood or puberty. It's no cure for "Peter Pan Syndrome," as I call it.

We can all say that looking back, we'd have preferred to

have skipped puberty altogether,

but what's done cannot be undone.

Not to turn this into an "educated boy" thread on whether or not a young boy could rationally choose castration. We've hammered that one to death already several times.

[TPinot (imported)]

Hi Paolo,

Oh I am very much aware of that. But clearly a point worth making.

Educated boys? What we need are time machines so we can go back and explain it all when it mattered!

If anyone has a time machine, by the way, can you take me to just after tonight's Euromillions lottery draw? Just need to make a note of something then back....

Cheers,

Pinot.

[wolverine1 (imported)]

I love yer sense o' humor! seriously tho, life is a real bitch -experience can leave you with wisdom but not youth and in most peoples cases youth comes without wisdom! ain't that a kick in the head !?!

I understand the sentiments about doing things differently and the 'if only' view of life but I lived in that frame of mind for way too long and certainly wouldn't recommend it... so now i'm concentrating on looking forward, not back, cos I don't doubt there's gonna be plenty o' time for that when i'm old, wrinkled and lying in a hospital bed with not much else to do!