Advice please...

[Tavond (imported)]

Hi all,

I'm a long time visitor of these forums, and have been registered with the same name in the past, but my login disappeared. I re-joined yesterday.

I have a messy story and I'd like your advice if anyone can help.

I am TS. Diagnosed as such. I am also painfully shy and lacking in confidence, and find time slipping by without me finding the courage to sort my situation out.

This has really started to take it's toll on me and I have been taking taking anti-depressants since after Christmas. The pain was getting too much to bare (I was feeling suicidal), so I reached out for help.

My depression is slightly better, and to try to help myself I am this month seeing my local mental health team for the first time. I hope this will help me find the confidence to move on. If not, I don't know where I am headed, but it won't be nice.

Getting down to brass tacks, I think I am losing my hair. This is a major blow to me and I can't let it continue. I am considering an orchiectomy to solve the hair problem, and because I have a natural acute dislike for them anyway.

Do you think I should do it? Is it better to ask my Doctor for help, or do I look towards ORR in Belgium? I have made contact with them and they seem a well organised, safe and professional organisation. They also seem willing to help me without the requirement of letters to prove my sanity. If I do it without my Doctor's knowledge (and before female hormones) do you think my Doctor would keep me on a minimal maintenance dose of T, especially given that I sought and found orchiectomy without his knowledge?

My mind is a blur of thoughts and questions, and I don't know what to do. The hair thing is really worrying me though and I need to address it one way or another.

Thanks for any help you can give.

[jemagirl (imported)]

i feel unqualified to give you advice, but i do understand how you feel. First of all i think your seeking advice from your local ( gender? ) counselors is a great action step. So to my mind your ARE doing something positive and brave.

As far as seeking an orchiectomy goes, since you are already seeking counseling it may be worth your while to bring the topic up even as difficult as that may be. You may just get the letter of recommendation you need for the orchiectomy, and save your self an expensive trip to Belgium. Better to go there as a tourist I would think.

The other thing about the orchie is in the end it is your decision. What is good for others may not be good for you, but then that's another good reason for counseling. i don't know what your doctor would recommend as far as HRT but really that is also your decision. i would think you don't want T if hair loss is an issue for you. Even if your doctor prescribes T, that doesn't mean you MUST take it. Remember Doctors, counselors, and psychiatrist are offering a service not a sentence

hugggs

jema

[Danya (imported)]

Hi,

Ultimately you must make your own descisions on this. I've often wished for someone to make my descisions for me, but then they wouldn't really be my decisions. In the end, you really do (or will) know what's best for you. I'm glad you're going to the mental health clinic. Your depression alone can be tough to deal with. I speak from firsthand experience.

As far as your hair loss goes, you stated something like that if something wasn't done to stop it:

>>

I don't know where I am headed, but it won't be nice.

I hope you will get help on this before you get to that point. An option for you right now might be chemical castration which will likely stop your hair loss.

I just spoke with my doctor about chemical castration today (first time with any physician) and he was great. He wasn't shocked at all and deals with one or two other men who are doing this. If the doctor is doing his/her job, he'll be understanding and want to help. This should also apply if you get castrated without his/her knowledge. If your doctor isn't this way, it's time to look for another. Good physicians accept people where they're at.

Please take good care of yourself and let us know how you're doing.

Todd

[Hairless (imported)]

If you are dealing with depression, you really need to be careful about lowering your testosterone level. That can make it worse. There are many here that have had those problems. Have you had your testosterone checked? Just having low testosterone can cause a lot of the feelings you are having. Why are you so concerned about hair loss? I am loosing mine also, but I wasn't castrated to stop it. If you are planning to transition or at least feminize, female hormones along with chem cast or surgical castration should stop the hair loss and may help with the depression. Hormones play a big part in depression, as do other chemicals. If you haven't already, get a good physical. Tell your doctor what is going on. If you don't like how he or she treats you, get another doctor.

[mrt (imported)]

Please listen to Hairless. Low hormones wire you. Well... At least ME! A lot of what we do, act and feel is regulated by how healthy our hormone levels are. If yours are low now and you prop them up your outlook (And depression) might well go away. If you opt for estrogen over testosterone that is your choice. But DO talk to a mental health expert. They can help you figure things out. If you don't for some reason hit it off with either them or your doctor vote for a new one with your feet. There ARE great doctors out there.

If you are dealing with depression, you really need to be careful about lowering your testosterone level. That can make it worse. There are many here that have had those problems. Have you had your testosterone checked? Just having low testosterone can cause a lot of the feelings you are having. Why are you so concerned about hair loss? I am loosing mine also, but I wasn't castrated to stop it. If you are planning to transition or at least feminize, female hormones along with chem cast or surgical castration should stop the hair loss and may help with the depression. Hormones play a big part in depression, as do other chemicals. If you haven't already, get a good physical. Tell your doctor what is going on. If you don't like how he or she treats you, get another doctor.

[jcat (imported)]

Talking it through with people who have understanding will help you to a point of clarity to make up your own mind.

No one can make it for you, but good people can be there to help you think it through.

You will get a lot of support here and folk will genuinely want to help you through your ups and downs.

It is very difficult to advise anyone about hormones because the effects are different on us all.

The first marker on the journey to transition is just to accept yourself, as you are warts and all. For many of us self acceptance is hard because we are on guilt trip because the 'norm' is dictated as being other than what we are.

At the end of the day you can't hide behind the changes that hormones bring either. You must first in your inner self step and say 'hey world this is me and I love it!'

Jcat

The truth is we are all beautiful whatever our gender, race, orientation.... we are human!

[Tavond (imported)]

Thanks for the replies.

The local counsellors aren't gender specialists. In fact the first time my Doctor tried to get help from them they said no-one locally could help in that field.

He tried again without the emphasis on gender issues and they agreed to see me. I think the issue of zero confidence is the main reason I am seeing them. Until I find some courage I will stay hidden as a (quietly very unhappy) man as far as society is concerned. That future I can't bear the thought of. Like I said, I doubt it's compatible with sanity and/or a future for me. I'm hoping that the counselling can help me to find the courage to make the tough choices I have to make.

I do see a private gender specialist from time to time in London (Dr. Richard Curtis), although it is an expensive day out when I *know* what is wrong, but can't find the strength to help myself. There is only so much you can be told at £200 an hour when you know you can't act on the advice given.

I mentioned T as a replacement hormone as in my experience so far, without a firm plan for transition it would appear as though I am unlikely to be offered oestrogen. That's the only reason I mentioned it with regards maintenance. I could always go internet of course...

In the mean time, I worry a lot about my hair. I can really do without it falling out on me. It's a large part of the identity of any woman, and as a general rule women don't get male pattern baldness.

The temptation therefore is to look for orchiectomy. Would my Doctor be helpful in looking into this for me do you think? Anyone have any NHS experience of this? I don't think mentioning it to the local counsellors would help if they don't specialise in gender issues.

Thanks for the help so far.

[Christina (imported)]

Hi all,

I'm a long time visitor of these forums, and have been registered with the same name in the past, but my login disappeared. I re-joined yesterday.

I have a messy story and I'd like your advice if anyone can help.

I am TS. Diagnosed as such. I am also painfully shy and lacking in confidence, and find time slipping by without me finding the courage to sort my situation out.

This has really started to take it's toll on me and I have been taking taking anti-depressants since after Christmas. The pain was getting too much to bare (I was feeling suicidal), so I reached out for help.

My depression is slightly better, and to try to help myself I am this month seeing my local mental health team for the first time. I hope this will help me find the confidence to move on. If not, I don't know where I am headed, but it won't be nice.

Getting down to brass tacks, I think I am losing my hair. This is a major blow to me and I can't let it continue. I am considering an orchiectomy to solve the hair problem, and because I have a natural acute dislike for them anyway.

Do you think I should do it? Is it better to ask my Doctor for help, or do I look towards ORR in Belgium? I have made contact with them and they seem a well organised, safe and professional organisation. They also seem willing to help me without the requirement of letters to prove my sanity. If I do it without my Doctor's knowledge (and before female hormones) do you think my Doctor would keep me on a minimal maintenance dose of T, especially given that I sought and found orchiectomy without his knowledge?

My mind is a blur of thoughts and questions, and I don't know what to do. The hair thing is really worrying me though and I need to address it one way or another.

Thanks for any help you can give.

I will have to agree with others about watching out for the depression issues. They will most likely be worsened with a change, or lowering, of hormone levels but may improve on female hormones if you are truley TS. I found that as my doctor changed the dosage of hormones I would experience small bouts of depressions. It was nothing major, yet still worth noting. Consider the chemical route before commiting to anything permenent because once cut you can never go back.

For hair loss many have use Rogaine (minoxidil) and propecia (finasteride) and have had success. You may want to ask your doctor for help in those areas.

[Eunuchist (imported)]

If you are dealing with depression, you really need to be careful about lowering your testosterone level.

It is of course important to watch out for depressive episodes and complications for anyone, and especially for those who are particularly prone to "the blues".

However, it should also be noted that an increasing number of eunuchs, perhaps aside from temporary mood swings, have noticed a lasting relief in miserable feelings, various psychiatric symptoms and depression since their castrations (chemical, surgical, and minimal to no testosterone), often unexpectedly (possibly partly due to the increased serotonin content in the brain following interventional testosterone ablation, as documented in most animal studies, and partly due to the social and personal circumstances).

Even a relatively low testosterone count (from insufficiently damaged testes) can still project adverse psychologic effects (my experience). I would recommend chemical castration, if possible, for all of the above. It would provide with a much better and more definite answer than anyone here can come up with.