New guy unsure what's okay to discuss

[Mr. Frog (imported)]

I'm really wrestling with this, because I'm not sure exactly what brings people together here, and I don't want to inadvertently offend anyone by saying something that turns out to be inappropriate. I also would prefer not to end up looking foolish by saying too much, but that's a built-in risk of any discussion, I suppose.

This is basically it: I get the impression that most guys here are serious about being neutered, or are already, and I'm afraid I may end up looking disrespectful or dumb or both, if I start talking about castration as a titillating fantasy, instead of a serious reality for a lot of people. Maybe I'm worrying about nothing, but I prefer not to offend people if possible.

The other part of that concern is that I divulge something very personal, which is regarded as pretty strange by most people, and end up with an embarassed silence at the other end, or a polite "That's...interesting".This has happened to me once, when discussing this idea with a woman friend I've known for years, who is a pretty uninhibited person, but even she was kind of thrown by it. That response would be unlikely here, I imagine.

(Will this guy ever stop talking?) My last point is that I come from a very critical family, in which I learned the hard way that to talk about things that were important to me often led to scorn and ridicule, or downright disapproval, from my parents. The other part of that is that we never talked about anything, but always pretended that everything was fine. I realize as I get older that a lot of the problems I've had over the years are definitely attributable to growing up in an alcoholic family. I have been sober for over twenty years, but I still have baggage from the Adult Children of Alcoholics thing.

All right, enough for now. Thanks for your patience.

[Slammr (imported)]

Although I think there are some that would prefer this to be a "serious" place to discuss eunuch issues pertaining to those that have been castrated and to those that wish to be castrated, I don't think it was initially set up to be that. I think it should also be a place for those that have no intention to be castrated, but enjoy fantasizing about it, to discuss those fantasies. The stories posted here, after all, are all fantasies.

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

It's more than likely that most of the people posting here are enveloped in a fantasy of one sort or other. There are also a lot of people here that are very serious and others that are quite experienced with castration and related subjects. We all seem to get along much beter than the posters on most discussion boards seem to get along with each other. I don't believe that your interest in fantasy is at all out of place here. The only objections any of our slightly odd staff have shown to fantasy is if it is presented as fact or involves something way, way out of bounds (not easily done around here). And warnings are often given before action is taken. All in all I think you're in good company here. --FLO--

[kristoff]

Exactly this forum is where fantasies are most appropriately posted and discussed and enjoyed, along with the story boards. Probably at least 95% (wild guess) of folks are here only to indulge or explore a fantasy or a curiosity. That is why so much of these forums are serious - we have an obligation to make certain that folks who rely on what we discuss are not lead into doing stupid things. As such fantasy ought to be clearly labeled as such. This site need not and ought not to be totally serious - if one cannot have fun or laugh at themselves, what the Fuck is the point of even living?

You are doing just fine. Post away. Anyone who doesn't like what you say can sure say so, but no one will flame here - or the flaming nun will wield the fire extinguisher with dead aim.

Welcome to our little zoo.

[I Worship Women (imported)]

This is basically it: I get the impression that most guys here are serious about being neutered, or are already, and I'm afraid I may end up looking disrespectful or dumb or both, if I start talking about castration as a titillating fantasy, instead of a serious reality for a lot of people. Maybe I'm worrying about nothing, but I prefer not to offend people if possible.

The other part of that concern is that I divulge something very personal, which is regarded as pretty strange by most people, and end up with an embarassed silence at the other end, or a polite "That's...interesting".

First, welcome to the forum Mr. Frog. About your concerns that you expressed here I would say that The Eunuch Archive Message Board is one place you can freely and openly discuss and share your castration fantasies, feelings, experiences, etc. with people who will NOT judge you. What you will find here is a caring community of people, each of whom in some way and on some level, have an interest in castration. Instead of being judgmental, the people here will understand you and accept you as you are. Again, welcome to the forum.

[Mr. Frog (imported)]

Thanks to everyone who responded to my original thread. I was intrigued to see Slammr here, because I discovered his website recently and was startled by the number of erotic images of castration there. I had somewhat the same experience on reading some of the stories posted here as short fiction. In fact, that's how I discovered this site in the first place. I stumbled on a story by a person known as PR and was amazed to find out how much it resembled my own fantasies. That was a real eye-opener.

I found at an early age that I was excited by ideas/stories about punishment.As a very young child, about five maybe, I began fantasizing about spankings while self pleasuring. Even as a kid, I found that odd, because I certainly did not want to be spanked in real life. When I was somewhat older, I read a kids' historical novel, based on fact, I think, that at one point described the hero being ordered to receive five hundred lashes. This was during the Revolutionary War, and he was a colonist who had hit a British soldier or something like that. There was a vivid description, complete with illustration, of the guy being stripped to the waist and tied to a tree and flogged five hundred times. Unaccountably, I found this exciting, and would masturbate to memories of that story.

I don't remember at what age or under what conditions I found out about castration, but the idea horrified me, and was often the subject of nervous jokes among high school boys. It was associated with lynch mobs and revenge killings and ancient world tortures, in most of the historical or fictional references to it.

When I was sixteen, my family spent a year living in England. I was a voracious reader, and would always hang around the W.H. Smith and Sons' bookstore in my neighborhood. They always had tons of different subjects, ranging from serious literature to absolute cheese. On one of my many visits there, I happned upon a whole row of paperback books, that had black covers illustrated by ghoulish photos. They were all part of a lengthy series of horror anthologies known as the Pan Horror Collection, or some such title. I was curious enough to look at several of them and thumb through a few stories to see if it might be worth buying any of them. The stories were all new fiction by unknown authors, apparently written for this series. The stories I sampled were unlike anything I had ever read. There were no Gothic castles, aristocratic vampires, ghosts, family curses, etc, but modern stories that all seemed to involve people undergoing various tortures before dying very unpleasantly. This was genuinely unsettling stuff. I didn't quite know what to make of it. There was a really nasty quality about these stories that got to you.

The books all had back cover blurbs that described some of the morbid thrills to be found therein.One caught my eye, under the heading " Inhuman Humans". Along with the other queasy sounding descriptions was a reference to "the mother and sister who emasculate a rapist". I read this thing right there in the bookstore.It described vividly how a convicted rapist escaped from prison,and took shelter in a remote cottage, that turned out to be the former home of one of his victims, who he had murdered, as well as raped. The last scene had the rapist trapped and subdued by the mother and sister, who bound him to the kitchen table and proceeded to do something left unspecified ,but pretty gruesome nonetheless, with a long butcher knife. The last line of the story was the mother telling the hapless fugitive that he wouldn't rape any more girls as long as he lived.

You couldn't help but feel somewhat sorry for the guy, though the buildup had established that he was a pretty evil character, and it was poetic justice. But what I had not anticipated was that by the time I finished reading this appalling story, I had a raging erection. How any male, especially a horny sixteen year old boy, could find a story like that arousing was something I didn't analyze too much in the following days, but masturbated to the dreadful images I had memorized.

I could say a lot more, and probably will after a while, but I'll stop for now with my recent discovery that a whole subterranean form of castration erotica does exist outside my own imagination. I was amazed to discover that there are obviously other men for whom this idea is what might be called a frightening turn-on. I had wondered about this, but it's not exactly the kind of subject a man is likely to discuss casually with his buddies ( or women either, for that matter).

It's not something that logic and reason can define. The only thing I can think of is that, for some men, a castration fantasy might be exciting in the same way that many women find rape fantasies exciting. In neither case would the person want to undergo such an experience in reality, and yet there's something arousing about these ideas in a fantasy context.

[Bagoas (imported)]

Mr. Frog, you have come to the right place. You are unlikely ever to find a less judgemental group of people. No one is going to ask you to justify what excites you. It is nobody else's business. Feel free to speak (write) openly . If anyone feels that you have stepped over the line (wherever that is), it will be brought to your attention, but nobody will scream at you about it or insult or ridicule you. Relax and enjoy the easy-going atmosphere here. Again, WELCOME to the Eunuch Archive.

[kaimanawa (imported)]

lots of us have fantacies here - im sure not much will shock anybody here- so go for it and enjoy

[Paolo]

Welcome to the zoo.

There's a search function for the Boards,

http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/search.php

so chances are, whatever you can come up with might already be in a thread.

Enjoy your stay.

[Mr. Frog (imported)]

Thanks again to everyone who has written encouraging responses. I took Paolo's advice and searched a thread and he was right: I found a number of posts by different men that were similar to my own experience and/or fantasies. Guess this is the right place , then.

At risk of sounding dramatic, I'll just observe that my mother's attitude toward my masturbation as a small child was undoubtedly a formative factor in my sexual attitudes later. I remember her more than once appearing in the doorway to my room, looking angry and declaring that she knew what I was up to. There was never any actual punishment, or even threat of it, that I recall, but her whole response to a normal childhood practice was quite threatening. As an adolescent, there was one time when I was about sixteen or seventeen ,that she barged into my room and found me in the act ,and acted essentially the same way she had when I was a little kid. That was even more uncomfortable, for a horny teenage boy, to have one's mother interrupt you whacking off and giving one the evil eye. Sheesh!

There seems to be no end to these movie memories but here goes with another one. ( I used to get disapproving looks and groans and complaints from both parents, but especially her, for allegedly talking too much about old movies. I'm now 53 and she's still doing it. What strikes me odd about that is that both my parents were lovers of classic films, and would get very involved in watching them, but then complained about me being too enthusiastic for the same movies. This is probably an example of the kind of inconsistency and confusion one finds in most alcoholic families.)

Anyway, there was a porno theatre on Lake Street in Minneapolis that I attended often, as a horny and involuntarily celibate young adult male. I walked in one time about halfway through the first feature. The movie was made about 1979, entitled Her Name Was Lisa, with Samantha Fox as the unhappy protagonist. In this scene, she was wearing a dominatrix outfit and holding a whip. She ordered a man to strip, lie down and then she handcufffed and chained him to the bed. Having put a black hood over his head, she proceeded to tease him by making him repeat after her all the things he wanted to do to her that she wouldn't allow him to. Then she proceeded to fellate him and fondle him. Periodically, she would stop to smoke a cigarette or get a drink, and he would be straining in his bonds, trying to masturbate, but unable to reach his penis. Then she would tauntingly resume her fellatio or other act, including getting on top of him for vaginal intercourse. She finally allowed him to come, after denying him for a long time,and he just ejaculated a huge amount of semen.

To this day, I consider that one of the most arousing sequences I've ever witnessed in any porno film, though in an obnoxious way. The complete film is no longer available. Both the DVD and the VHS tape have inexplicably been re-released with that scene cut to half its original length. They cut out the entire blowjob part, which was the single most exciting moment of it.

I was driving around with the previously mentioned woman friend, who is one of the most sensual and bawdy people I've ever met, and I described seeing this movie, and how I felt that sequence was incredibly arousing, in a strange, hostile way. She laughed and said that of course I would feel that way, since that was basically how I saw women, as powerful, taunting deniers of male desire, torturing men with their allure and refusing sexual release.

I tried to explain this on another website, to the bafflement of many. I stressed that for a castration fantasy to be exciting for me, it had to involve one or more beautiful women, who were threatening the male captive with emasculation, and it wasn't clear whether they would go through with it or not. The atmosphere is both threatening, but provocative and highly sexual. For the woman/women involved, picture someone like Jessica Alba, Eliza Dushku, Linda Fiorentino, Jennifer Lopez, maybe Maggie Gyllenhall, Lauren Graham, Sarah Michelle Gellar, maybe Marcia Gay Harden , also Scarlett Johansson. You get the idea.Actually, there is a scene in El Mariachi that's sort of like that. Antonio Banderas is a hired assassin posing as a travelling musician. H ends up in a small hotel, where he's taking a bath and a beautiful Latin woman jumps him in the bathroom, waving a menacing looking dagger, which she sticks into the water and threatens to cut his balls off if he doesn't tell her what she wants to know. At the end of the scene, it turns out that the knife was a harmless letter opener with a blunt edge, and she was just trying to scare him.

Okay, that' s enough for now. Thanks to all here.