Dog's Questions

[DonnyMac (imported)]

TO: GOD

FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever,

smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is

it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar,

the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human

hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand

signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beeper s, scent ID's,

electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have

to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I

must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after

they throw it up.

2.. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just

because I like the way they smell.

3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box,

although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's

laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for

Mom's driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on

the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable

way of saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under

the coffee table.

12.. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering

the house - not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my

crotch when we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and

he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, my last question...

Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

Don

[Riverwind (imported)]

very funny, thank you, Number 9 is the best.

River

[DonnyMac (imported)]

Number 2 hits home the hardest. Behind out house is an almost endless field with plenty of cows. For some reason the dogs like to roll in cow pies especially after a bath

Don

[WheelyFixed]

Seems good enough to bring it up from the dead... Not a dog owner myself, but I've known dogs and their persons that have done all the things on the list...

WheelyFixed

[Friage01 (imported)]

Thanks. Being that I have many dogs, this was great!