Eunuch Limmericks! Try it, you may like it!!!!

[A-1 (imported)]

Hello, everyone!

It is about time that this place got a dose..., of culture, that is...

So, since this is my thread, I challenge each and every one of you to make up a limmerick about a Eunuch, humorous or otherwise, but none the less a limmerick.

Well, I am going to start this and we will see where it goes.

A young one who lurked on EA,

Posted by night and by day,

about looking like Venus

with no balls or penis;

(A dream that he loved, by the way.)

Well, if that doesn't describe a lot of the folks here make something up and tell the story yourself, but in the classic limmerick form, please. Since this is my thread I think that it is my place to request this formality. By the way, make it rhyme and please don't mangle the meter, either.

If there's one thing that is harder to tolerate than a limmerick that doesn't rhyme, it is one that has a mangled meter, however a mangled peter in your limmerick is acceptable.

A-1

[radar (imported)]

I don't have any limericks, but I do recall a short little poem my father used to joke about:

A boy stood on a burning deck,

His feet were full of blisters.

The flames came up and burned his pants,

And now he wears his sister's!

Of course, then he also had this little tidbit of advice for me when I was 13:

He said, "Son, as you go through life keep one thing in mind: You can't find happiness all in one place and all at one time. You've got to catch your happiness in snatches!"

[haltlos (imported)]

Oh my gott A-1, culture!

Where do you come up with those ideas?

Ok, here's my try:

A man, a perverted, how funny

dreamed of loosing his dick to a granny

On the main street he found her.

She said "Just as you want, sir."

Left his cock, left his balls, took his money.

Wait, I've got another one somewhere around here...*g

[radar (imported)]

There once was a young man named Bill,

who ate a uranium pill.

His entrails corroded,

his belly exploded,

and his balls were found in Brazil.

[Bboy]

There once was a young man named

Paolo

Whose hardons were mostly like jello;

Then he met Bboy proper

And with him ate supper

And then suddenly developed his MOJO!

---------------------------

Author's notes:

1. No slight is meant by references to 'jello' in this limmerick, either to Paolo or to Jello (r)

2. Any resemblence to any story moderators, living or dead is purely coincidental.

3. No Jello or Story Moderators were harmed in the production of this limmerick

4. This is a work of pure fiction. Paolo? Paolo who? Who is Bboy? Never heard of them. They are figments of my twisted imagination.

[A-1 (imported)]

Well,

The Limmerick is a very amusing form of prose. I appreciate everyone's efforts. Maybe we can build a limmerick and poetry Eunuch archive since there are so many stories with no reason or rhyme.

Eunuchs should appreciate this effort because the stories on the archive are stimulating for the hormonally challenged among the E.A. I really think that poetry brings out the best in a person.

Well, on with the next one!

A young Roman woman named May,

Liked an orgasm by night and by day,

'till she bought her a eunuch

with no balls 'neith his tunic;

and he licked her problem away!

Now, two for the price of one!

A beautiful man who was Gay,

Asked to send his sex drive away,

So I hired a cutter

a regular nutter;

...I rectum it worked for a day!

Hmmm? Had enough yet? Well, I haven't!

A girl so young and so tender,

longed to emasculate the opposite gender,

So she stripped off her clothes

and then cut off his hose;

And went out with her friends on a bender.

( a real sweetheart, that one, what? )

A man in love was a bore,

So he offered his sex to his whore,

When she cut off his stuff

it wasn't enough;

So with a strap-on she screwed him some more!



A man oversexed and so naughty,

fell in love with a pretty girl's body,

He wined her and dined her

and by force sixty-nined her;

So she bit off his organ so snotty!

:tongueout :tongueout :tongueout

Well, that's not all, but that'll do for tonight!

BYE!

A-1

[A-1 (imported)]

There was a young fellow named Hall,

Who was born with only one ball,

But God's dirtiest trick

was the size of his prick;

For everyone asked, "is that all?"

A mathematician named Hall,

Had a hexahedronical ball,

And the cube of its weight

times his pecker plus eight;

Is his phone number---give him a call!

NYMPHOMANICAL JILL

TRIED A DYNAMITE STICK FOR A THRILL

THEY FOUND HER VAGINA

IN NORTH CAROLINA

AND BITS OF HER TITS IN BRAZIL!



A-1

[A-1 (imported)]

for Gus,

There was a young lady from Munich,

Who had an affair with a eunuch,

At the height of their passion

he dealt her a ration;

from a squirt gun concealed in his tunic.

for Master Waddie,

A cabin boy on an old clipper,

Grew steadily flipper and flipper,

He plugged up his ass

with fragments of glass;

And thus circumcised his old skipper.

for Paolo,

If jerking off gives one thrombosis,

and abstinance brings on psychosis,

I prefer to expire

fulfilling desire;

Than to live in a state of neurosis!

A-1

[Paolo]

Oh, stop. Ok, I am officially ignoring this thread now ... Bboy, pass me my bottle of little orange pills ... did someone mention psychosis?

:p

[A-1 (imported)]

...and that goes double for the rest of you.

Are we having FUN yet? You know, life is not worth living without having some fun. Well, I for one am having a BLAST

More Limmericks fo y'all. C'mon, gang. I'se is a-feeliing like the only one who is having fun here. Oh, please, somebody STOP ME! I cannot control it,,,,,yyaaaaaGGHHHHHHH.

On the EA there's a crazy old gent,

whose dick was so long that it bent,

So whenever he drove her

he doubled it over;

and instead of coming he went!

Paolo works hard toward the day,

That his balls will be taken away,

In pain he's half crazy

as he labors for lazy;

posters that put CRAP on EA!

Bboy he cruises Minnesota,

but he never goes over his quota,

If he loses his penis

he'll look like the genous;

that claims alien people like Yoda.

Antonia, a lady so fair,

removed all her pubic hair,

I would like to meet her

and maybe to eat her;

But alas, I'm here and she's there!

The EA's an erotic emporium,

But not just a super-sensorium,

It's a highly effectual

gay-hetero-bisexual;

Terminal masterbatorium!

There once was a fellow so crass,

That his ballocks were made out of brass,

When he slapped them together

they played "Stormy Weather";

and lightning shot out of his ass!

Oh Wendy's been gone for a while,

Her tempetuous posts contained guile,

If indeed I could date her

and woo her and mate her;

I would go off half-cocked with a smile. :tongueout

Well, Vi's been in the kitchen a while,

Her sexy hot pants makes me smile,

What's inside of those hot pants

is worth all the romance;

and tonight we'll retire in STYLE!

Goodnight all,

I have business to attend to......

A-1