Moment of Truth

[Eunuchist (imported)]

Jeff,

Do you think that your HRT might have been somehow responsible for the heart attack? I tend to suspect that to be the case, based on what I've read. Although there is still some debate as to the exact role of various androgens on the progression of CVD - with some of the studies conflicting each other - I have found a strong consistency among several studies wich demonstrate that natural testosterone (or HRT) tend to increase blood pressure by about 5 to 15 points, lower HDL cholesterol as well as increase fibrinogen levels - all of wich constitue important risk factors in the development of CVD. On the other hand, most of the studies also show that castration and HRT have only a minimal effect on LDL cholesterol.

My information is it's not true that heart problems are mostly a male thing. I understand it is true that males experience them sooner than women.

I lived with moderately high cholesterol levels for 15-20 years until I suffered a heart attack earlier this year. I was lucky it was mild and the artery that was blocked could be repaired with non-invasive introduction of a stent through an incision in the artery in the groin. I'm now entirely healed and am back to marathon running. It's hopefully a good thing that my doc's given up on reducing my cholesterol levels with diet - wasn't working even though I was observing fairly good eating habits and am quite active physically - and I'm ingesting a pharmaceutical to reduce the levels. While I was in hospital only 4 days, the cardiologist had no issue with my doing AndroGel while there when he learned I had no testicles.

[bobweekend (imported)]

Interesting how topics change.

The question was at the moment of castration how did you feel. (other words were used which caused different responces).

I will try to answer that question and the the question of if I am a man or not to someone else.

for it there was a rush of emotions which are hard to put into words. Relief, accomplishment are not really strong enough.

I was done June 18th 2005. I cut the cords myself which was an important aspect mentally.

I have no regrets. I was on and I still am on testosterone.

I agree with MrT low T sucked. I was border line depression the end of 03 beginning of 04. My frist Dr. wanted to put me on anti-depresants. when researching the side effects I discovered low T causes similar results. So I was tested and in May 04 started androgel.

By the end of the month I got the color back into my life.

Did not like atrophy at all. Plus did have a degree of testicular pain. So after discussing things with my Dr, a shrink, and a Uro. They could not tell me why not do what I did, but would not assist.

Bob

[Kangan (imported)]

I have have wonder what thoughts eunuchs had when they see the last cord cut.. the moment of truth so to speak.. when they know they are no longer men, but will be a eunuch for the rest of his life... Do any of the eunuch remember what they were thinking at that moment ? Relief, anxiety, regret, joy, deep satisfaction ?

I had a vasectomy as a test of my castration desire. In fact I was mentally pretending that it WAS a castration. I must say that the procedure did not provide much satisfaction, but afterwards, knowing that I had been able to go through with the surgery gave me a great deal of satisfaction. The week of painful recovery did not diminish this feeling. Unfortunately, my testosterone was still intact so my reason for wanting castration did not diminish.

Another post mentions cutting the cords oneself. I would like to do that also, if practical.

[JeffEunuch (imported)]

Jeff...

Do you think that your HRT might have been somehow responsible for the heart attack? I tend to suspect that to be the case, based on what I've read. Although there is still some debate as to the exact role of various androgens on the progression of CVD - with some of the studies conflicting each other - I have found a strong consistency among several studies wich demonstrate that natural testosterone (or HRT) tend to increase blood pressure by about 5 to 15 points, lower HDL cholesterol as well as increase fibrinogen levels - all of wich constitue important risk factors in the development of CVD. On the other hand, most of the studies also show that castration and HRT have only a minimal effect on LDL cholesterol.

My only response is that my cardiologist is not concerned by the HRT. My testosterone levels are supported only to the high end of low. I was discharged following an angiogram and angioplasty and only ended up being in hospital for 4 days, I didn't know it was going to be such a short stay initially and asked if I could do the AndroGel in the hospital. He was quite supportive with it when he found out I was ballless. In any event, my BP was and remains low (120/65), and the cholesterol levels are acceptable with medication. The pattern of CRD wasn't typical. There was one 1/4" blockage (99%) and very little fat buildup elsewhere. One doc's theory is that there was a lesion in the right aorta that caused the fat to coalesce and become calcified at the single point. I got to take the great pics home. The doc also had no difficulty advising that it was OK to return to my heavy cardio training. I was back at work and my 25 km cycling commute, as well as my 40 km weekly running routine, 1.5 weeks after the event and even won a gold medal in the marathon this past summer at the Outgames in Montreal.

[JeffEunuch (imported)]

.....

The question was at the moment of castration how did you feel..... it there was a rush of emotions which are hard to put into words. Relief, accomplishment are not really strong enough.....I cut the cords myself which was an important aspect mentally. I have no regrets. I was on and I still am on testosterone.

By prior arrangement, I also cut off my last testicle after the blood flow had been tied off. I have seldom been so turned on sexually or as hard as at that moment. I

went flaccid only when the incision in the sac

began being sutured. I likewise have no regrets and was also already receiving testosterone.

[Kangan (imported)]

By prior arrangement, I also cut off my last testicle after the blood flow had been tied off. I have seldom been so turned on sexually or as hard as at that moment. I

]
went flaccid only when the incision in the sac

began being sutured. I likewise ha
[/quote]
ve no regrets and was also already receiving testosterone.

Congratulations on being able to make the final cut yourself. I'd really like to do that some day.

So you were sexually turned on? Wow! When I had my vasectomy, despite some fantasy thoughts I didn't (couldn't) get hard at all, despite the fact that a young blonde nurse saw everything! Perhaps my lack of an erection was due to embarrassment or the potential of it as this was in a medical clinic.

It sounds like you have (or had) a strong fantasy about castration.

I can get hard while thinking about castration, but I am not so certain that I could get hard when actually on the table, unless it was in a setting where sexual feelings would not produce embarrassment.

I need castration because of real world problems caused by my sexual addiction. I do have a fantasy about castration - since it is something that I can only do once, I'd like to make it as memorable as possible.

I'd definitely like to do the final cuts. I would prefer to be prepped on site (not at home by myself). I want photographs before, during, and after. A female doctor or assistant would be a plus. HOWEVER - all this would depend on the setting and on the surgeon. My fantasy castration is mostly just that - fantasy. In the real world it probably wouldn't happen like that at all.

[mrt (imported)]

Jeff,

Do you think that your HRT might have been somehow responsible for the heart attack? I tend to suspect that to be the case, based on what I've read. Although there is still some debate as to the exact role of various androgens on the progression of CVD - with some of the studies conflicting each other - I have found a strong consistency among several studies wich demonstrate that natural testosterone (or HRT) tend to increase blood pressure by about 5 to 15 points, lower HDL cholesterol as well as increase fibrinogen levels - all of wich constitue important risk factors in the development of CVD. On the other hand, most of the studies also show that castration and HRT have only a minimal effect on LDL cholesterol.

No, at least in my case, my heart attack was before I ever started on HRT or knew anything about that problem. Soaring high BP, cholesterol labs from hell, stress, job issues, bad diet and such. I've since addressed all that and had good test results.

[Eunuchist (imported)]

No, at least in my case, my heart attack was before I ever started on HRT or knew anything about that problem. Soaring high BP, cholesterol labs from hell, stress, job issues, bad diet and such. I've since addressed all that and had good test results.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Heart attack in mid-forties?? Sounds awful! However, considering all the contributory factors, in a sense, it is not the least surprising. I would also suspect, given your relatively young age, that a hereditary factor played a role.

On the other hand, based on your reports, I am now fairly sure that it was a combination of testosterone and it's metabolites + unhealthy lifestyle habits that were responsible for most of the problems you had to deal with, including your heart attack. I have to conclude so because castration level hypogonadism normally remarkably reduces stress, BP, "driving rage", as well as increases the patience threshold. The symptoms above, therefore, are not an issue for eunuchs - unless they lead a very unhealthy lifestyle. Somehow it is apparently possible to suffer from testosterone induced side-effects even if one's level is below or well below the average, but as long the testicles are not physically damaged and are within the average volume/size.

I also suspect that external t supplements are not quite like the original, so they may produce somewhat different effects, especially when combined with other hormones or medications. I would like to see some more research being done on these matters (f. inst., age related hypogonadism is not a hindrance for developing baldness and BPH, while external t usually only excacerbates these issues, apparently. Does it have anything to do with "unopposed DHT", altered activity of certain metabolizing enzymes, or simply a "green house" effect of long-term androgen exposure?).

[Eunuchist (imported)]

My only response is that my cardiologist is not concerned by the HRT. My testosterone levels are supported only to the high end of low. I was discharged following an angiogram and angioplasty and only ended up being in hospital for 4 days, I didn't know it was going to be such a short stay initially and asked if I could do the AndroGel in the hospital. He was quite supportive with it when he found out I was ballless. In any event, my BP was and remains low (120/65), and the cholesterol levels are acceptable with medication. The pattern of CRD wasn't typical. There was one 1/4" blockage (99%) and very little fat buildup elsewhere. One doc's theory is that there was a lesion in the right aorta that caused the fat to coalesce and become calcified at the single point. I got to take the great pics home. The doc also had no difficulty advising that it was OK to return to my heavy cardio training. I was back at work and my 25 km cycling commute, as well as my 40 km weekly running routine, 1.5 weeks after the event and even won a gold medal in the marathon this past summer at the Outgames in Montreal.

Alright then! Somehow, I was thinking that you did a level at or above 1000, based on your activity levels. Of course, because you are a eunuch, your doctor would normally not consider such a dose as you imply to have much of a say in this regard.

I do however suspect a "youthful" HRT regimen as a risk factor for heart disease.

[markdf (imported)]

It's all about how you feel, I think. There are TG folk who never get any surgery at all. They just feel it and live it. I figure that if you want to call yourself a woman, then balls, ovaries, or nothing at all, more power to you. If you feel like a man when you pull a pair of boxers over your snatch and a lumberjack flannel over your tits, I'm down. Nothing wrong with changing your body to match your idea of how you want it to be either, but it all starts in your head. That's the important part, eh?