A Few Jokes

[Brandon86 (imported)]

Here are a few playboy party jokes my friend sent today. I think they're funny. Hope you enjoy.

A man and his wife were sitting in their living room one evening when he said, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." His wife got up, poured out all his beer and unplugged the TV.

Two kids at school were arguing about whose parents are better. "My dad is stronger than yours," said the first.

"No, my dad is stronger," said the second.

"My dad can lift his truck," replied the first.

"Well, my dad can lift my house," the second retorted.

"Well, my mom is better than yours," the first said.

The second replied, "Yeah, that's what my dad says, too."

A ventriloquist was visiting an Indian reservation and decided to have a little fun with the chief.

"Hey, there," he said. "I bet I can make your horse talk.

"Horse no talk," said the chief.

"We'll see," said the ventriloquist. He turned to the horse and asked, "So how does your master treat you?"

"Pretty well," said the horse. "He gives me plenty of oats, and he lets me run all over."

"I bet I can make the dog talk, too," said the ventriloquist.

"Dog no talk," said the chief.

"How about you?" the ventriloquist asked the dog. "Is he good to you, too?"

"Yup," said the dog. "We play fetch."

"Let's see what the sheep has to say," said the ventriloquist.

"Wait!" yelled the chief. "Sheep lie! Sheep lie!"