One Day in the Life of a Wolf - Memorial 7-25-20

[Blaise (imported)]

I'm not sure if I have whiskey but I know there's some booze in the kitchen... in those miniature like bottles the airlines use or used to. Besides, it has to be good advice coming from a 17 star.... er sun general.

River:

I payed two of the bills at a liquor store 1.5 miles from me. Our local grocery cashes checks and gives out ATM type cash backs but no utility payments yet.

One side effect of using ethonol is that it wakes you as the effect wears off. It is not a good substance to use to go to sleep. However, there is always a reason to drink a little scotch. It is raining. It is not raining. I got a raise. I did not get a raise. I am happy. I am sad. It is Saturday. It is not Saturday. I got laid. I did not get laid. Always a good reason to drink.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

I just returned from seeing mom at the nursing home. She looked older than usual and if she could only eat 50% of what they gave her, I'd bring her home. She was talkative but I couldn't understand a word. It sounded like gibberish though I don't doubt she thought she was speaking clearly.

I have made a decision. Since I may lose here before she comes home, next Tuesday I'll find a barbershop and get my beard trimmed short and my hair cut. Our barbershops are closed on Monday.

I'll start scanning the employment section for a job. If mom passes away suddenly, I'll have no income to pay utilities let alone my luxury items: food and tobacco.

I won't be seeking white collar employment as my wardrobe consists of several t-shirts and 4 pair of bluejeans which would look crappy with a tie:P

I'll need to locate something in the city that can be reached by city busses or my "sturdy" legs.

I probably should have considered this long ago but I wanted mom to live forever. I'm hoping my last 3.5 years of unpaid-caregiving doesn't look to bad on a resume.

At this point I don't know if I'm being pessimistic (looking at the worst possible scenario or optimistic (planning for the best possible economic result).

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

You're not being overly optimistic or pessimistic. You are doing what you think is best as you have done all along. --FLO--

[Riverwind (imported)]

What Flo said,

Also, I don't think your years as a care giver will hurt you.

River

[Blaise (imported)]

Buy a pair of Docker's slacks or somethint like them, a dress shirit, and a tie. Borrow a jacket from someone. Apply for retail jobs at places like Penney's. If you have a Costco where you live, apply there. Apply at Whole Food. Apply at Chase or other banks as a cashier. You will make a good impression. I think that your persistence in caring for your mother will impress employers. I find them open to hiring older people.

Even though I probably would not work if I did not need the income, I think working is good for me. I enjoy it most when I get off from work but that is okay.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Thanks to River, Uncle Flo, Blaise and Kristoff.

For some reason, I was just hit by a wave of depression. I can get down in the dumps sometimes but this is the first real depression I've had in ages.

I think I'll go lie down and see if things look better when I get up.

I "think" I miss waiting hand and foot on mom...maybe that's it.

I tried sleeping...no help, but I found a way to chase away some of the depression. I waked four miles round trip to get my tobacco. My tobacconist had his own problem as his alternator went out. Since he couldn't offer me a lift home, he decided to give me my pound of tobacco for free saving me $40.00. That definitely helped cheer up my day

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Unlike River, who has a handsome mug withouta beard, I didn't shave. I told the barber to trim the hair and the beard which he did. I don't recognize the guy in the mirror now.

Tomorrow I go downtown to pick up paperwork for food stamps and medi-Cal. At least I can use the city bus as my legs are worn out.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

I just received an update on mom from her "nursing home" physician. According to him, mom is doing a bit better and is eating some food but not enough food.

He reccommends putting in the stomach tube that the hospital physical told me about. One says it's dangerous to use another says it's dangerous not to use it.

Which one do I listen to?

Tomorrow I'm meeting with mom's Speech Pathologist at the nursing home to get her point view.

Where's Dr Marcus Welby when ya need him?

[Blaise (imported)]

I just received an update on mom from her "nursing home" physician. According to him, mom is doing a bit better and is eating some food but not enough food.

He reccommends putting in the stomach tube that the hospital physical told me about. One says it's dangerous to use another says it's dangerous not to use it.

Which one do I listen to?

Tomorrow I'm meeting with mom's Speech Pathologist at the nursing home to get her point view.

Where's Dr Marcus Welby when ya need him?

You arrive at a moment when you just have to act without knowing the best outcome. I think that sometimes everything one does is dangerous, especially when you have to decide for your mother. I recall when my father had to decide whether to undergo a procedure that might have killed him in the effort to keep him alive. At least, he could make the decision for himself.

Mac, I look to your posts the first thing that I do in moring. Your sense of humor and humanity is a daily treasure for me. Thank you. Your journey of love with your mother inspires us.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

At lunchtime, I visited mom at the nursing home. As usual she was babbling away and after she had said all that she wanted to say, I had to honestly tell her, "mom, I couldn't understand a word that you spoke."

Her Speech Pathologist said it was common for stroke victims to talk in "jargonese" now and then. The S.P. also advised against the tube for now as did the owner of the nursing home.

I watched as mom ate 40% of the food given her: a great improvement . The S.P. said starting tonight mom will be on a regular diet. All the food was purried (sp) into a paste but it was real food.

Since her insurance runs out on November 1, I'm hoping she's well enough to come home by then or before.