One Day in the Life of a Wolf - Memorial 7-25-20

[kristoff]

Hey Jay, no problem..."I'll convert, I'll convert."

From 1965-1968 I dated Verlane, a nice Roman Catholic girl. We were to get married but......things happened. I almost cOnverted to Catholicism and would have had I known about the Flaming Nun.

Fortunately, after dinner the whining stopped. UNFORTUNATELY, she nagged me from 6:30pm to 7:45pm to take her home. I played along saying, "okay mom, what address do you want to go to...I'll drive you."

BIG MISTAKE...For an hour she would tell me she didn't know what city or address of this other house but I was to take her there. I tried to use logic (futile) and tell her I'd never been there and since I didn't have an address I couldn't take her there. Undeterred, she nagged, "well, ask somebody for directions." You know this might actually have been hilarious if I hadn't been involved in it. I could be looking at River going through this and go "tee hee hee" but having experienced it first hand, there were moments I thought of skydiving off a bridge without a chute...

Then rationale hit....I'm scared of heights and I can't swim.

Maybe tomorrow will be better...then again....I should learn to swim.

Be proactive --- tell HER where it is at and direct the conversation, don't ply it to her. Oh, yeah, that is the place down next to Henry's - you know - that guy you thought was so good at cutting hair.... etc... Let it flow, just like a healthy stream of bullshit

[Riverwind (imported)]

You could get her out of bed, telling her to hurry, drive her around the block then put her back in bed and say "isnt it great to be home in your own bed"?

She may just think your the greatest or she might think your nuts.

River

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Never, never violate Rule #37.

Rule #37 says NEVER give your 92 year mother a narcotic no matter how much neck pain they say they are experiencing.

Earlier, mom had severe neck pain from an old injury. After an hour of whining I relented and gave her one of her darvocets. Within 45 minutes I was experiencing a tirade from her on how I had poisoned her, poisoned the cat, poisened the dogs and poisoned the monkey. (We don't have a monkey).

When mom first went to hospital two years ago for an hair fracture on her left hip, her doctor had given her demoral for pain...bad mistake. That evening when I arrived to visit her, I heard horror stories from her that her nurses were trying to murder her and other such claims.

When I questioned her doctor about her behavior, he said, "some seniors react very negatively to narcotics and become psychotic."

Normally, mom can take Darvocet if she's in a good mood and in an upward mood swing. Tonight however, She was in a downward swing, mood wise

Live and learn.

[Uncle Flo (imported)]

All right, what did you do with the monkey? --FLO--

[kristoff]

Never, never violate Rule #37.

Rule #37 says NEVER give your 92 year mother a narcotic no matter how much neck pain they say they are experiencing.

Earlier, mom had severe neck pain from an old injury. After an hour of whining I relented and gave her one of her darvocets. Within 45 minutes I was experiencing a tirade from her on how I had poisoned her, poisoned the cat, poisened the dogs and poisoned the monkey. (We don't have a monkey).

When mom first went to hospital two years ago for an hair fracture on her left hip, her doctor had given her demoral for pain...bad mistake. That evening when I arrived to visit her, I heard horror stories from her that her nurses were trying to murder her and other such claims.

When I questioned her doctor about her behavior, he said, "some seniors react very negatively to narcotics and become psychotic."

Normally, mom can take Darvocet if she's in a good mood and in an upward mood swing. Tonight however, She was in a downward swing, mood wise

Live and learn.

Try ibuprofen....

[Slammr (imported)]

All right, what did you do with the monkey? --FLO--

Me, too. That's what I want to know. Did you bury it in the back yard after you poisoned it?

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

To be truthful, I placed the deceased monkey in a shipping container, added several scented pinecones in case it began to smell, sealed the package with Canadian duct tape and mailed it to A-1.

If it arrives at A-1's house before Christmas, he can stuff it in that pair of pantyhose hanging over the mantle. Who knows, grandpa might appreciate a dead monkey better than a doll named Louise

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

You could get her out of bed, telling her to hurry, drive her around the block then put her back in bed and say "isnt it great to be home in your own bed"?

She may just think your the greatest or she might think your nuts.

River

Gee, River is smarter than he looks

When I first read his idea about driving mom around the block and back home again I thought to myself "dumb idea."

However,

This morning mom was in one of her whining moods demanding I take her home. She didn't have an address but said, "You idiot, I'll give you directions to my house." I put her in the car, drove a few blocks away and she directed me right back here to her home." She seemed satisified.

I guess what they say is right..."old dark bearded men are brillant."

[n3rf (imported)]

Get mom some of this :

Quote:

Nature's First Food boasts an incredible array nutrient-dense, mineral-rich superfoods including powdered vegetables, algae and aquatic vegetables, as well as a highly-advanced probiotic (friendly bacteria) formula. This product was developed exclusively for Nature's First Law by one of the world's leading superfood authorities, Dr. Jameth Sheridan (N.D.). Nature's First Food has been formulated with a unique understanding of lifeforce energy, enzymes, raw foods, Mother Nature and true science, with a reverence for all life.

End Quote. from SunFood Nutrition. N3RF

[Paolo]

Does anyone have a copy of the Grandpa-blowup doll-Christmas story? I LOVE that one!

And Mac-ee, you murdered the monkey? How dare you?!

For shame!

I'm calling PETA and SPCA right now!

LOL