Hi Bud. I thought I would also post in public (vrs my email to you) for anyone else reading this that is curious. I must first admit my desire to be a "Eunuch" was based totally on my chronic testicular pain. I am not "anti" Eunuch but I am pro Testosterone. Yes I know what a strange combo that must seem to be. Before I had my testicles removed I had been on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) for years. Going on HRT made a lot of changes to my life. Sex drive is what we all equate with castration and my low hormones were making me close to Asexual. In a marriage with a non asexual partner that wasn't good. But this is really important. What I found most interesting to me were the other changes. My moods pre HRT were bad. I was a bit of a SOB. I also had lots of serious anxiety issues. I was just unable to make my mind up about things and my energy levels were next to zero. What was worse was that I could not think clearly. I read books. A lot! While this was going on I wasn't reading anything but the funnies and not always all of them. I had this mental fog. When I started taking Hormones the mood, energy and anxiety were solved very quickly. For me it took a lot longer for the rest to come back but they did and all I can add to that is HOOO HOOO.
My sex drive is ok. I'm not a raving sex maniac / chronic masturbater but when a pretty girl walks by my reaction is "nice!" vrs me thinking things like "What a slut! Does her mother know how she dresses!" etc.
The negative things. With the gels you put them on everyday. Forget them? Whew... Get ready for a crappy day... Or rather everyone around you should get ready for a crappy day. With Gels you wear T Shirts to bed so you don't get massive amounts of testosterone on your wife and kids. Some peoples skin doesn't "like" the gel. With shots? Well there is the injection. To me its not a big deal. After the first 50 or so its pretty routine The shots tend to give you a rush at the start and a minor crash at the end. Juggling dose with any treatment is a project. There is NO WAY that one dose fits all men and its not just about weight or age.
Another con to ponder. When you start on HRT you agree to doing yearly Physicals, regular Lab work to check your dose and yes, PSA and DREs. So if your squeamish about seeing your doctor or having your prostate checked? Forget about it.
After several months of working with my doctors regarding low energy levels and weight control issues, there now is a final decision on my part regarding starting up HRT. I spent this past week in the capital city of the country where I live consulting with the best medical advice I could find. Every doctor recommends for me NOT to start HRT. The energy issues can be dealt with via other means, e.g., B12 shots, etc. The primary reason, and this applies to me based on my specific circumstances is that HRT would more than likely cause additional problems for me.
Accordingly, I have now put the issue of HRT to bed. It may come up again in the future, but it will be the distant future, if at all.
Please do not ask for additional details -- I am not willing to share them. But do be advised that all of the support I have received here (and privately as well via email and phone calls) has been a tremendous tool to help me understand a lot more about the world of hormones and their impact on our lives.
In a couple of months it will be four years as a castrated male. As several of you know (and have messaged me privately), I have not been a regular visitor here at the EA during the recent past. I simply wish not to be confronted with the off-topic postings. I do think about several of the EA members who I have "talked with" (meaning via this forum) as well as those I met at a MoM a couple of years ago.
It was in fact an automated email notice about a subscription that I have on one of the EA topics that caused me to come back into the EA this morning. And from reading that recent posting, I snooped around at the new postings. There was one talking about the demise of the EA because of the reduced number of postings. I don't see that as a possibility. This site provides way too much good information related to eunuch issues. I still do wish the off-topic stuff would disappear, but alas that won't happen either.
Re my particular state of health, both physical and emotional, I think I am doing rather well. I haven't seen a doctor for more than a year now. I still am T-free. The weight issue is something I deal with on a daily basis. I find I eat a lot less now, but I suspect that is more because of advancing age. I am just not as hungry as I have been in prior lives. I am emotionally very stable, happy, and cheerful. I feel blessed in more ways than I can count. I have dropped out of my spiritual study group, but only because the group began not to fulfill my needs. I find now that I can meditate privately and receive all the spiritual nourishment that I seek.
On the eating/food issue, I recently became aware of a different way of looking at food. I watch the Food Network on TV, and Elton Brown made a comment about energy rich foods (think in terms of sugars and carbs, etc.) versus nutritionally rich foods. That was a turning point for me in terms of how I think about the food that I eat. This new awareness on my part probably is not remarkable to many of the rest of humanity, but it struck me as significant in my journey. For instance, I now look at the broccoli that I am steaming in a different way, not from the viewpoint of how many calories am I consuming, but rather how much actual NUTRITION (think in terms of minerals and vitamins, etc.) that I am providing to my body so that it can do its incredible magic.
Like others here who have commented about not needing to continue to discuss/rehash/retell their story of their entrance into our community, I too share those feelings. When asked about eunuch/castration issues, which is extremely rarely, I respond candidly and frankly. This is not something that I am embarrassed about. It is just part of my journey. And talking about my journey, when asked, is something that should be done, in my opinion, from a healthy respect for truth, candor, and full disclosure, otherwise why would I be interested in using my time to no productive/positive goal.
One of the more significant changes in my life, post castration, that confronts me now is my sensitivity to the more nurturing aspects of life. War, crime, and similar acts of aggression really disgust me. Illness, when significant pain is involved, troubles me. I can and do cry publicly, without worry, when there is a significant loss in my life. I can and do express emotions about how I feel, which is something I would rarely do in my prior life.
Another significant change in my life, post castration, is that I generally now do not try to tell someone what to do, how to do it, or make recommendations or give advice. I still don't know if that is a result of castration, or just that I am becoming more adult. I used to be quick to tell someone how to "fix" one of their problems that they would be talking about. Now I express support for them as they determine what they plan to do.
As a retiree, I thought I would be spending huge amounts of time traveling and taking still pictures. That is something that has been my passion since the mid-teens. However, last year, having lost most interest in the still photography, I sold off all of my still camera equipment except for one camera body and three lenses. I haven't picked up the one remaining camera in more than a year. Still photography no longer is a challenge for me. (I do keep a small camera in the car in case of an accident, but that one doesn't count.)
On the other hand, I have become very involved in audio and video recording, editing, and production of events. We have a small but growing number of artists, singers, musicians, performers here in the area where I live. I am really enjoying helping others document their growth and achievements.
I have curtailed a lot of my international travel. Because I live in Central America, just about any travel I do becomes international by definition. Part of the reduction in travel is cost related (I'm retired and live on a fixed income), but also another part is the disgust I feel when going through the TSA checkpoints in airports. It seems so stupid to me. I am not opposed to rational security measures; in fact, I am a strong supporter of such. But the airport stuff I have witnessed is bureaucracy run amok. And the political state of affairs in the USA is another story. The only political personality that has any integrity in my books is Ron Paul. The rest of them are idiots pandering to idiots. [This generalization will get me in trouble; so go ahead and take your shots. Just don't expect a response from me.]
It is best that I close for now. The underlying purpose in posting today is simply to continue the aperiodic documentation of my journey, which now includes the aspect of being a castrated male. And who knows, perhaps I will be able to make another visit to a MoM in the future.
Bud, it was good to read your update. If you do decide to attend a MoM in the future I will make sure I am in attendance. I would love to see and talk with you again.
I have just returned home (I live in Central America) after traveling stateside for 3+ weeks. My original intention was to visit with family and friends, and to establish a relationship with a new medical resource, given that my US "home" (if I had to return to the USA) would now be the Houston area. And so I went on this trip, with the intention of spending only an hour or so with a doctor in the Houston area, and then the remainder of my time with family and friends.
However, two things happened during this trip. Most important is that my Mother passed away last week, and so stress levels were incredibly high. The details are not important for this forum, and so I will only say that she is now at peace and with Pop. Mother was 90 years of age and an advanced Alzheimer victim. She had no cognitive nor communication faculties for the past six plus years. Grieving is nonetheless still difficult.
The second issue is that the doctor, whom I totally respect and trust, has strongly urged me to reconsider my decision not to do HRT. As I listened to his logic, coupled with the results of extensive diagnostics, I have been convinced that I need to start HRT. And so, now that I am back home, I will start the process of getting prescriptions filled and seeing how things go. A major driver for this change is that I continue to have problems with my left kidney. The good news is that I am not dealing with cancer. The bad news is that there are major issues with my left kidney (given other factors that impact on that organ), and so "here I go".
I will continue to keep major milestones documented in this thread. The routine stuff would be really boring to you.
I just find it interesting that at about 4 years into my journey as a castrated male, that I am making this decision to start HRT. Hmmmmm, the only thing that doesn't change is change itself.
I have friends who are on no or little T, and I have some on I T. I am a hi T guy myself. I was neutered June 18th 2005 (5th bd coming up woot). I had started T in April 04 so other than natural low T I have not experienced it as a neutered male.
I love my T, I like my morning Hard ons which I get consistently between Tue Morning and Friday Morning. (I do my shot on Sat). I enjoy the horny feeling even when I am not in a position to do anything about it. I also enjoy my NU-XXL neuticles which I carry in my sac.
Good Luck with your T. I hope it helps your other health problems.
Welcome back - good to hear from you. Our condolences on your loss. Please join us a bit more often. Are you still doing a lot of travel, or have you become a home-body? Those of us who know you would like to know, I am sure!
The shots tend to give you a rush at the start and a minor crash at the end. Juggling dose with any treatment is a project. There is NO WAY that one dose fits all men and its not just about weight or age.
D:D