asexuality and eunuchs

[myra (imported)]

This may sound like a stupid question but I'm going to ask it anyway .

What's your major drive to become an eunuch? Is it about the body modification, or is it more about losing your sex drive because you don't like it?

I'm asexual myself, and I wonder if there are people who are sexual but would like to become asexual.

[tugon (imported)]

This may sound like a stupid question but I'm going to ask it anyway .

What's your major drive to become an eunuch? Is it about the body modification, or is it more about losing your sex drive because you don't like it?

I'm asexual myself, and I wonder if there are people who are sexual but would like to become asexual.

My two reasons were that I did not feel male and due to events in my life I became a sexual addict. I identify as a eunuch and am happier with myself. I am not asexual but in control of my sexuality. I have no interest in being asexual.

[thefraj (imported)]

Hiya Myra!! And belated welcomes to the group!

You hit the nail on the head! I've always wanted to be castrated, and had weird thoughts that way since I was about 12. Though I did not conciously realise what this was until about 16 - when I started doing things to try and achieve the position I'm in now.

Why? It's hard to say. Maybe it's like asking someone why they're gay, or why some people do not identify with their birth gender. It's just a part of who they are. And castration is a means to calm the body and bring it closer to what I feel inside. I really can't say. I only know.

I know I hated the sexual urges that men have. I knew they wern't me, and that I was never a big fan of body hair. Everyone who knows me, (I hope, in a playful way) seems to think I'm gay. Which is okay, but not necessarily true. In the past this has caused problems, and people often see the body language and assume. But my feeling now is that the body language is of someone of neither gender, who is (as I've only recently realised) asexual.

I've known for a little while that I was neither male nor female and have escaped the masculin things which I always hated.

But the last few days I've spent on www.asexuality.org (http://www.asexuality.org) and reading the post by others, made me realise this is exactly what I am. What I have always been.

By this, I mean I can enjoy sex. But it is not an important part of me, or of any relationship. It's weird, I guess getting to know onesself is a lifetime experience

But this is just me, and there are a whole number of reasons men want castrating.

[tugon (imported)]

Thanks thefraj for a great link. I am interested in learning more. I must say that I am no longer interested in sex outside a loving relationship. If I can't be with the one I love then I can't be with anyone. Most of my sexual drive is due to my relationship. I honestly do not know if it ended if I would then consider myself asexual. Ah Rog you got me thinking again.

[myra (imported)]

thanks for replying. It's nice castration by a medical professional is possible for those who want it. It's also great that your operation made you feel better. I realise that being an eunuch is not necessarily related with being asexual. Thanks for pointing that out.

[Hash (imported)]

For me, becoming a eunuch was a process. It started with the desire to cut myself, specially my scrotum. This went on for several years. I actually cut my scrotum in half vertically. This was both painful and excilirating. At some point, after several years of abusing my balls and scrotum, the desire to be castrated started to manifest itself. I would be driving home or sitting at my desk in the office and these overwhelming thoughts and desires to be castrated would come over me. I've never figured out the "why." The desire drove me to attempt it on my own, but pain and fear stopped me. I finally enlisted a sympathetic female co-worker to help me, but it wasn't good for either of us, though we managed to remove the left testicle. I ended up in the emergency room from that. And my female co-worker regreted helping me. However, for a while, the removal of the one testicle stopped/slowed my thoughts of castration, but after a year or so, the desire to be castrated returned. That's because the remaining right testicle picked up the slack and started pumping me full of testosterone again. I continued to abuse the testicle and abused it to the point where it shrunk and shriveled. Mind you, I could not stop or control my abuse. My urologist told me that had "hypogonadism" and was technically a eunuch because of my low testosterone count. Finally, this past March, I had Dr. Kimmel remove my remaining shriveled testicle. Now I'm officially a eunuch and love the control that I have over my body. I know and can understand why men rape, abuse, and hurt women, I know why they go to sex shops and buy porn, testosterone drives them nuts (no pun intended). It drives and pushes men to act out sexually and controlling the "drive" is difficult for most men. Fortunately for me, my drive drove me to hurt myself instead of others. Any way, that's my story. Hash

[polecat (imported)]

I'm asexual myself, and I wonder if there are people who are sexual but would like to become asexual.

You know it's interesting how you put it that way. I assume you're going with the "asexual = no sexual desire" thing. Some of us aren't here about sexual desire, but about the other negative consequences of certain hormones. And sometimes it's hard to tell where you draw the definition of sexual desire. If you have an automobile, except it's missing its wheels, its seats, its body, its engine, is it still an automobile? Many of us are trying to get treatment precisely because there are artifacts of what would be a sexual desire in most people, and in us it's a cause of depression, anxiety, obsessiveness and stuff in a way that's unrelated to sex. Some people here find it rather revolting to have sex with a woman, but have a deep desire to be a woman, and those two are sometimes connected very strongly. I can think of two cases I've seen where someone wanted to undergo gender reassignment surgery, and once ey had been castrated, after that the hatred for eir body shape, style and uh... plumbing evaporated with the hormones. It's rare, but it does happen.

As for myself I can consistently say that I've never met anyone I wanted to have sex with. It just doesn't happen. But I do get a lot of hormones sometimes, and it really messes with my head, and I don't appreciate that. I'm not saying it makes people look more attractive, I'm saying for instance it makes me freeze up in thoughts like gears grinding to a halt, makes my metabolism all screwy where I have too much energy or not enough, or where I'm too hot or too cold in the same temperature room, and yes occasionally I do end up obsessing about certain physical ...acts I suppose. I have nothing against them personally, but I'd rather not have them draining my creativity like a hole in my head. If that's not an endocrine problem, I don't know what is! But does it make me sexual? I'd probably enjoy sex, I guess, maybe, depending, but then I'd probably enjoy cocaine too. Does that make me a cocaine user?

[thefraj (imported)]

You raise a good point polecat. One that stopped me from accepting being asexual for sometime. I always assumed that "asexual" meant "absolutely no sex at all".

But - for me - what it means is that sex simply isn't important. If I was with someone who never wanted sex, that would be okay. And when I first meet someone, I never think about sex with them - I don't look at their body and think "wow s/he is hot". I latch onto the persons personality and how nice or interesting they are. To talk to, to be with.

I think even those who identify as asexual will probably say it covers a broad spectrum. My take is that you can have sex and still be asexual, if sex was not one concious goal when entering into a relationship. And not essential to the relationship.

[polecat (imported)]

You raise a good point polecat. One that stopped me from accepting being asexual for sometime. I always assumed that "asexual" meant "absolutely no sex at all".

I believe the official term for that is 'virgin' and, outside of certain religious cults, it isn't exactly a noteworthy achievement.

I think even those who identify as asexual will probably say it covers a broad spectrum. My take is that you can have sex and still be asexual, if sex was not one concious goal when entering into a relationship. And not essential to the relationship.

I'd call that more an asexual relationship than being asexual persay. Those are very common even. Between you and your boss, you and your carpool members, you and the person you met on the bus, you and the checkout clerk at the supermarket, there are many relationships we enter into where sex isn't the conscious goal, nor essential.

I like to define asexual as nonsexual meaning you don't get into sex for one reason or another. There are specific forms of it, for instance if your reason is that you were convinced sex is bad enough to take a vow not to engage in it, they call that celibacy. Celibacy is useful for organizations that can't have their members spending a lot of time working through who's doing who, and is often an obligation for members of monastaries and business offices. Other kinds of asexuality might be sexual phobia, lack of arousal, lack of desire, inability to see people as attractive for sexual purposes. Some people define asexual specifically as people who feel no desire for sex, but I don't really agree there. Or rather I hesitate to judge people based on what we desire, because we aren't allowed to choose what we desire. At least, not without the help of certain useful chemicals.

[myra (imported)]

on AVEN an asexual is defined as a person who has no desire to have sex and who doesn't feel sexually attracted to another person. Most asexuals have a form of physical arousal, but they are not very much into it. Asexuals are most of the time physically able to have sex, but they don't long to do it. Some masturbate, some don't (I don't). Some people are hyposexual (lowered sex drive) instead of totally asexual.

This is open to other interpretations though