Reasons for becoming a eunuch

[CodyRicheson (imported)]

Sorry if this has been posted elsewhere, but I am curious to learn if anyone is in the same boat as me. I want to become a eunuch because I'm disgusted with my sexuality and the fact that I have sexual energy. To me, I can be at peace as a eunuch because I'll have little to no sex drive and total control over it. I also have become disinterested in identifying myself as a male. What are you reasons for wanting to become a eunuch? If you already are one, why did you make the decision?

[koku (imported)]

I've got several reasons, I'm just not sure I can remember them all at once.

Emotionally, etc, I already am a eunuch. I have never had any sexual drive/energy/desire. I've pretty much lived in 'the calm' my whole life.

Family history of prostate cancer. Wanna avoid that, in any ways possible.

I'm pretty sure they never worked properly in the first place.

The girl I'm sharing a brain with deserves some physical validation of her presence.

They're just too damned big. I have a hard time walking fast without pain, and the one time I managed to have sex was an absolute nightmare because of how low they hang.

Scrotum (mine, to me anyway) is the most vile looking thing in the world, all wrinkly, with squiggly hairs poking out randomly. I've seen rotten oranges I'd rather have dangling from my cock than what's there.

[bryan (imported)]

I'm disgusted with my sexuality and the fact that I have sexual energy...I can be at peace as a eunuch because I'll have little to no sex drive and total control over it. I also have become disinterested in identifying myself as a male.

Cody,

I can identify with what you're saying. I wasn't looking forward to a life of masturbating every day or every other day just to keep libido under control. Are spontaneous erections bugging you? For me, they were a case of "all dressed up with no place to go."

Since you'

ve become disinterested in identifying

yourself as a male, let's take it further: Are you starting to identify with females, i.e., taking up their cause, seeing their point of view, sharing their concerns, preferring their friendship over males?

If so, then take a look at my life story in the TG forums for a preview of what may lie ahead if you get castrated:

http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=8265

The first four months of eunuchdom was gender-free bliss. Now at the 6-month mark, I realize there was more to it. The reason I was disgusted with my sexuality was unrecognized transgendering.

Your personality/feelings will change some with castration. The changes cause some men to go back on HRT so they can feel more like their old selves. If you have transgendering, you will embrace the

changes -- but it will cause further turmoil between you and your body.

Hope you find the right answer for you,

Bryan

Scrotum (mine, to me anyway) is the most vile looking thing in the world, all wrinkly, wi

th squiggly hairs poking out randomly. I've seen rotten oranges I'd rather have dangling from my cock than what's there.

Koku,

Well said! I'm sure many here can identify. Hard to imagine some guys hang fake balls from the hitch of their pick-up trucks. (Gross me out!)

[tugon (imported)]

I became a eunuch not because of any desire to be a woman but because I did not feel I was male either. As a male I was attracted to men but usually straight men. I never felt I fit into the gay world either. For me the ideal relationship would have been emotionally mutual but sexually I only wanted to please my partner. I was never comfortable with anyone pleasing me. I do and did enjoy masterbating after pleasing someone but ususally alone. I never hated my parts as much as some seem to do but I did dislike how I felt with the levels of testosterone. Once the levels dropped I was surprised how much I needed human touch. Sex is now fun but being held, touched and carressed is incredible. I have someone who loves me for what I am and only tries to please me when they sense I am in the mood for it.

I have had periods of abuse in my life that I think were external influences on my need to become a eunuch. I had an abusive father who must have thought I was not right. As a small child I think his physical, vebal and mental abuse was to try to make me more of a boy. In junior and senior high school when the boys were getting more aggressive, even though I was not feminine, they realized something was different about me and of course the easiest thing to torment me about was being gay. So more physical, verbal and mental abuse. Then after college meeting a man who turned out to be a sociopath and who used weapons and threats to control and keep me in line had me questioning my need to put sex behind me. I had also become a sex addict from all the abuse.

I reached a point where I always felt I should not be male and now I was at a point where I never wanted to be with a man again. I wanted to put sex behind me. I was addicted to sex but was not able to enjoy it. Always feeling wrong about myself I think lead me to accept whatever was done to me. So I took the logical step and became a eunuch. After I healed and the levels dropped I began to feel normal for me. I decided I had to get away from the psycho and do what I had to do to be happy.

Once I was truly myself and happy then I was able to reevaluate my life, my friendships, my goals. Some people needed to go and my true friends I appreciated all the more. I was even able to respond to the man who had been asking to be a part of my life and realized how good and loving he is and always was. So for me becoming a eunuch was the only way for me to become who I truly am and to be happy.

[bryan (imported)]

Sorry if this has been posted elsewhere...What are you reasons for wanting to become a eunuch? If you already are one, why did you make the decision?

Cody,

Here are some old threads on the subject:

http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthread.p

hp?t=7180

http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=1514

Y'all keep talking, hear me? I didn't put these links here to quell discussion.

Bryan

[thefraj (imported)]

I totally agree ... these are the reasons that brings us together after all!

Truth be known I started a similar thread too Why do we feel this way? (

http:/

/www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=8

170) (desire to be castrated that is)

Threads like this seem to end up very deep, thoughtful and usually very beneficial (I think so anyway!) Thanks for posting it Cody!

I also have become disinterested in identifying myself as a male

It took me a while to realise that this was at the heart of my choice. I too hated overactive libido, and was never a big fan of facial hair, male balding terrfied me, etc. (but after all ... these are all part of being male!) ... as is standing to use the toilet ... another thing I have major issues with.

It was only when I noticed other things in my childhood that I realised it was far deeper than simply "not liking those urges". Like the very obvious tip of a huge but concealed iceberg.

It's really the views of society that dictate you can be "one" or the "other". But in reality I guess even 'normal' males have different levels of testosterone, different thoughts, urges and characteristics. Some male, some not so male. The truth is, they're all just sterotypes and illusions we are programmed to aspire to.

Well, those are my reasons anyway

~Rog

[tugon (imported)]

I totally agree ... these are the reasons that brings us together after all!

Truth be known I started a similar thread too Why do we feel this way? (

http:/

/www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=8

170) (desire to be castrated that is)

Threads like this seem to end up very deep, thoughtful and usually very beneficial (I think so anyway!) Thanks for posting it Cody!

It took me a while to realise that this was at the heart of my choice. I too hated overactive libido, and was never a big fan of facial hair, male balding terrfied me, etc. (but after all ... these are all part of being male!) ... as is standing to use the toilet ... another thing I have major issues with.

It was only when I noticed other things in my childhood that I realised it was far deeper than simply "not liking those urges". Like the very obvious tip of a huge but concealed iceberg.

It's really the views of society that dictate you can be "one" or the "other". But in reality I guess even 'normal' males have different levels of testosterone, different thoughts, urges and characteristics. Some male, some not so male. The truth is, they're all

just sterotypes and illusions we are programmed to aspire to.

Well, those are my reasons anyway

~Rog

I hope I am not asking something that you may have answered before but you mentioned that you noticed other things in your childhood. Did you become more atuned to those things after your surgery? The reason I am asking is that after my castration and my testosterone levels dropped I became much more aware of not only my feelings but memories that were masked by my overactive libido/sex addiction. In a sense it was like my head cleared and so much became obvious.

Thanks

[Bagoas (imported)]

My lifelong desire to be castrated sprang from guilt, shame, and self-loathing . I was brought up in a homophobic age, by a homophobic mother. I felt driven to homosexual activity but ashamed and disgusted when I indulged in it. My feelings of guilt made me psychologically impotent at age 18. I had frequent erections and had no difficulty at all in masturbating six times a day, but, even with a willing and eager partner, I could not raise an erection or achieve an orgasm. I became passive, though I would rather have been active. So, frustration was added to guilt. I believed that castration would solve these problems, but never found anyone willing to do it. Now, age and the drugs I take for a cardio-vascular condition have reduced both libido and potency to a very low level.

[thefraj (imported)]

That's exactly what I found Tugon . Before the cut I really didn't care about the source of this this desire. All I knew was that I wanted to be castrated, and for some reason - that could arouse me.

With all that out the way, I can say that - for me - there was a gender dysphoria of sorts. And that the frustration which was precipitated by sexual arousal found an outlet in self-harm, self-mutilation and ultimately the desire to loose the bit that made me male. The fact that it'd all become intertwined with sexual arousal (which usually brought on the self-harm) made it more embarassing to talk about and more difficult to think about clearly.

I do feel more in tune with my feelings, and the soul searching made me realise the things from my childhood that otherwise I probably wouldn't have stopped to consider.

I suppose it's exactly what you were saying. For a long time I used the excuse of an "overactive libido/sex addiction" which may not have been untrue but was very much the tip of the iceberg - or an excuse of sorts.

It's great to know I'm not the only one in this position

Thanks Tugon

~Rog

[tugon (imported)]

That's exactly what I found Tugon . Before the cut I really didn't care about the source of this this desire. All I knew was that I wanted to be castrated, and for some reason - that could arouse me.

With all that out the way, I can say that - for me - there was a gender dysphoria of sorts. And that the frustration which was precipitated by sexual arousal found an outlet in self-harm, self-mutilation and ultimately the desire to loose the bit that made me male. The fact that it'd all become intertwined with sexual arousal (which usually brought on the self-harm) made it more embarassing to talk about and more difficult to think about clearly.

I do feel more in tune with my feelings, and the soul searching made me realise the things from my childhood that otherwise I probably wouldn't have stopped to consider.

I suppose it's exactly what you were saying. For a long time I used the excuse of an "overactive libido/sex addiction" which may not have been untrue but was very much the tip of the iceberg - or an excuse of sorts.

It's great to know I'm not the only one in this position

Thanks Tugon

~Rog

Thank you. It is nice having good folks with which to share feelings. I love your new picture. I will have to create something for myself since I to might become a compulsive poster to the EA.