New Element Discovered

[Studlover (imported)]

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT - GOVERNMENTIUM

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the

heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been name

Governmentium.

Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy

neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of

311.

These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are

surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be

detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days

to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but

instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant

neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,

Governmentium's

mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will

cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe

that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in

concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an

element which radiates just as much energy, since it has 1/2 as many

peons but twice as many morons.

[Zoroaster (imported)]

Now if only we could figure out a way to build a reactor out of that shit, we'd have this whole dependence on foreign oil thing solved in a heartbeat!

[Robby (imported)]

Was Governmentium found in GwB's DNA?...

[A-1 (imported)]

Was Governmentium found in GwB's DNA?...

No, but it was recently determined that GWB's DNA could qualify as WMD if he had used it to contaminate as many dresses and G-Strings as Bill Clinton did.

...talk about your little Bushies running around loose...



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[Dave (imported)]

.... GWB's DNA could ...

contaminate as many dresses and G-Strings as Bill Clinton did.

GWB with a hardon? That's a frightening thought.

Oh wait, wait - that's called a war...

It's a substitute for a sleek, low, scarlet red ragtop sports car.

Kinda makes you wanna go out and deflower a victory garden!

[Dayhunter (imported)]

Now if only we could figure out a way to build a reactor out of that shit, we'd have this whole dependence on foreign oil thing solved in a heartbeat!

Sounds to me like we may have discovered the secret of "Dark Matter"!!!

[A-1 (imported)]

Dave sez...

It's a substitute for a sleek, low, scarlet red ragtop sports car.

Kinda makes you wanna go out and deflower a victory garden!

No Dave, It's a substitute for a for a Prostitute in

a sleek, low, scarlet red ragtop sports car

with HER top down.

How's about 'deflowering' a Victoria instead?

:shakemitk

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