Santa Impersonators

[Blaise (imported)]

Now I realize that this is the the deep, dark cellar,

but can you think of a more scrooge-like and joyless topic than "santa impersonators" who turn out to be pedophiles and cannibbals? Gee, that on par with the freeze-dried cow-flops someone sent me last year for C|hristmas and thought it was funny.

Do you really think the local mall or department store Santa is a sexual predator?

Would you really take the pleasure of opening christmas presents and replace it with fear of being possibly touched in a "bad" place? That reminds of a friend who criticized the way I cooked when he visited. He didn;t think I was sanitary enough and he had just spent three days at a "brown" festival eating (doo doo) ...

If you think this is a really nice topic for the holiday season, please seek psychiatric help or a a large dose of happy pills ! ! !

I guess you have a good point! This is maybe too dark even for me.

[Paolo]

If you'd seen THAT Santa I was talking about, you'd appreciate the hilarity of it. I think it's this "brown fest" friend of yours that needs help.

[Blaise (imported)]

If you'd seen THAT Santa I was talking about, you'd appreciate the hilarity of it. I think it's this "brown fest" friend of yours that needs help.

Brown fest--that does sound dark.

[A-1 (imported)]

Perhaps I have been a little curt on this subject.

I apoligize to the community.

However, having just seen the success of my youngest daughter, #3, after a lot of hard work on my part AND Vi's part, I must say the following.

My youngest daughter just moved out with her boyfriend and bought a home. She is 21 now. But, the fact of her having been involved with the "boyfriend" of daughter #2 at a formative age after "babysitting for them, and realizing how lucky I have been to be able to resist the urge to shoot the son-of-a-bitch dead, making two of my grandchildren fatherless, I have little tolerance.

Well, things are going well, the bastard is looking at jail time for an unrealted matter, and I have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

But, my tolerance for shennagians and stupid traditions is BELOW ZERO! I have little tolerance for things like screaming kids frightened of Santa Claus, but made to sit on his lap anyway because of stupidity. IT is such a STUPID thing to do to a kid. Kids have instincts. Listen to them and pay attention to them.

A-1

[Blaise (imported)]

Children do tell us what we need to know about their well-being--if we learn how to listen. Forcing children into contact with adults they mistrust is wrong. Good point.

Still, shooting Santa Claus on Christmas Eve sounded pretty funny to me. The same parent dyed raw eggs for Easter. That was even funnier.

Brown fest, no way.

Good try, Paolo.

[Paolo]

Well, I can see that the point of this thread was totally missed and has gone off in the wrong direction.

Have fun, I'm done with it.

[Dave (imported)]

If you'd seen THAT Santa I was talking about, you'd appreciate the hilarity of it. I think it's this "brown fest" friend of yours that needs help.

Not is his mind - - He's a legend.

I must admit that a few years ago I overheard a mall santa saying "OK, I'm ready to talk to the little Bastards now. Let's hope another one doesn't piss all over these pants again..." Another time I heard one yell to the photographer "Hey get that picture finished and get another kid up here," Now that's inspirational and uplifting.

Nothing like your santa, but still questionable.

[Riverwind (imported)]

Ok, last week I saw "A Christmas Story", The santa they had would rank as one of the worst ever, great movie - even better if you grew up in the 50s.

several years ago we went to grandmas for christmas, we put our two kids in the tub, normal for them. While in the tub we put all the presents under the tree and when my wife was drying them off, I slamed the door and hollered "Marry Christmas" the other adults in the room and I then stood at the windows waving goodbye to santa. My two kids were I think 1 1/2 and 4. They werre both convinced that santa had just left and when we pointed out the window saying "see him" my two kids did.

Last year grandma and I took our daughter and her youngest to see santa, she would not get withen 6 feet of the guy and he was the first santa I have ever seen that not only looked like santa but the hair was real. I asked my daughter if she remember that christmas at grandma's, she smiled and said yes.

For those that just want to know, she is now 32 and has 4 kids, my wife and I had 5.

River,

oh yes, MARRY CHRISTMAS.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

Several years ago, I recall going down to the mall one Christmas Eve do complete some late shopping. As I paraded down the line of stores passing thousands of frantic shoppers looking for last minute bargains, I happened to see a crowd of adults in front of the May Company department store.

It seems there was a jolly old man, all decked out in red and white, sitting on a throne, going "ho ho ho" to ther assembled crowd. It was Santa. The one difference, however, there were no kids in line to see Jolly Saint Nick. They were all young college girls eager to sit upon Santa's lap.

This Santa, though was a lecherous old perv. Everytime a female collegiate sat upon his lap, Santa would put his hands on her thighs and whispered evil but senuous thoughts into their tender, soft, voluptious ears. Unbeknownst to the crowd, Santa's lap was sporting a tent pole equal to that of Omar Khayam. That had to be the most turned on Santa that Christmas.

He kissed each girl as they slid off his North Pole.

Oops, i nearly forgot the most important part. I was the Santa Claus for May Company that year.

[_g (imported)]

Several years ago, I recall going down to the mall one Christmas Eve do complete some late shopping. As I paraded down the line of stores passing thousands of frantic shoppers looking for last minute bargains, I happened to see a crowd of adults in front of the May Company department store.

It seems there was a jolly old man, all decked out in red and white, sitting on a throne, going "ho ho ho" to ther assembled crowd. It was Santa. The one difference, however, there were no kids in line to see Jolly Saint Nick. They were all young college girls eager to sit upon Santa's lap.

This Santa, though was a lecherous old perv. Everytime a female collegiate sat upon his lap, Santa would put his hands on her thighs and whispered evil but senuous thoughts into their tender, soft, voluptious ears. Unbeknownst to the crowd, Santa's lap was sporting a tent pole equal to that of Omar Khayam. That had to be the most turned on Santa that Christmas.

He kissed each girl as they slid off his North Pole.

Oops, i nearly forgot the most important part. I was the Santa Claus for May Company that year.

Nuaghty

_g