Sander

[bella (imported)]

Hi

Another great story Timothy,

looking forward to more, also Summer in Santa Cruz & Something Wicked

Regards

Paul

[El_chasqui (imported)]

Couldn't agree more, it's a great start to the story Timothy, I for one, can't wait to read what happens to Sander.

El Chasqui

[Gil (imported)]

I agree that this was an interesting, well written story. Am looking forward to the sequal(s).

Only suggestion for improvement (and this unfortunately applies to the majority of fiction I've read at this site) is the story is a tad circumlocutory. In fiction, unlike say political punditry, less is more. As Stephen King says, each rewrite should be about 10% less wordy than the previous.

[seiya_boy (imported)]

Yea.

If the writer can finished the story this time.

[StefanIsMe (imported)]

Timothy, great work! I love how your working this, the 'voice' of Sander is BANG on... well done! Looking forward to more! After reading it I couldn't help picturing young Sander as a happy Green-collar boy in a few short days of adapting to his new life... each story you work on brings more elements. I just LOVE when I see 'timothy' on the New Stories list!!

Seiya boy; at least Timothy STARTS fantastic stories...

Gil ; Comparing the quality of an author against a hack (ok, so a RICH hack) such as King is a bit of joke... thanks for the giggle!

And regardless of completion, this one chapter cranked me up but good

THANKS TIMOTHY!!! I love your stuff!

[Paolo]

This probably isn't going to come out right, but here goes anyway.

While Timothy's stories all revolve around a similar plot (prepubescent castration/modification), they don't all read the same way. This is a good thing. I have enjoyed them, and hope to see more.

But what isnt' going to come out right is what I DO want to see - finished series.

Right now, Timothy has 3 series running, none of them done. As someone who writes, usually in series, I can say that this isn't a good idea. You'll begin to mix up characters and plots and/or forget something or someone.

My only recommendation is to finish the first series first, the second second, etc., etc.

That being said, on with the show...

[Timothy (imported)]

Dear Friend

I'm sorry but I have no control over the fact that I'm "circumlocutory". The doctor cut off my forskin the day I was born.

However I will finish all three of my story lines before November 2. SiSC, "Wicked" and Sander will be completed in just a few weeks.

Timothy

[Slammr (imported)]

Timothy:

I hope you finish this story-because you have me hooked. Good, so far.

[sheraton1 (imported)]

Too tender to touch, almost.

[Gil (imported)]

...

Comparing the quality of an author against a hack (ok, so a RICH hack) such as King is a bit of joke... thanks for the giggle!

:

Glad it made you giggle, StefanIsYou. However, I have no idea what would make you conclude that I was comparing anyone to SK. King may be a hack, but that doesn't mean he's wrong on the issue of pruning out unnecessary verbiage. And my own experience with rewrites (on the stuff I do to pay the rent, not the stuff I'd post for fun) is that SK is pretty much right on the mark. At least on average, over my first three or four rewrites.