I have recurring nightmares about losing my teeth. I am very weird about my teeth in general. I never had bad-looking teeth, but my parents made me get braces at the same time my sister got them (maybe they got the family package; I don't know). In my dreams my I discover my teeth are crumbling, and I stand in front of the bathroom mirror in terror and disbelief, picking shards on tooth out of my mouth.
A few years ago two days before Christmas, when no dentists could be found ANYWHERE, one of my molars in the verrrrry back became abcessed. I went to the ER three times in two days with it. The ER doctors wouldn't even *look* at it. My dad went with me the third time and the charge nurse was my best friend from high school. Between the two of them they found a doctor who finally got in touch with an oral surgeon, and they gave me an IV with high-powered antibiotics and precious, precious Dilaudid. By then my cheek was so swollen it was touching my collarbone. They tried to admit me, but since it was Christmas I begged off and they left the IV catheter in my hand and I had to go back every three hours for meds. They gave me a huge (and I mean REALLY huge, and that's coming from a former Pain Dope Fiend) bottle of Percocet 10's to take home, but since I hadn't been able to eat anything for a week, I puked them right back up. So I snorted them. That made me puke too, so except for about 20 minutes three times a day when they were pumping me full of liquid heroin, I was in hellish, horrifying pain. I shit you not, natural childbirth was less painful.
Two weeks later, I'd lost 15 pounds and my infection was "gone". The tooth was salvagable, but since it was in the back and my wisdom teeth had come in on that side with no problems, so the dentist said we'd might as well pull it. I had no idea how barbaric the process of have a tooth pulled is. I had never even had a cavity! He numbed me up, of course, which was kind of painful itself, but the act of sitting there holding my mouth open while he wrenched the tooth from my jawbone was the most masochistic thing I've ever done. He gave it a yank, and all this nasty, bloody, stinking, foul-tasting pus filled my mouth. I tried to spit, but the dentist shoved me back in the chair and yelled "Swallow it! Spitting will make it bleed!" I thought he was joking at first. I barfed all over him.
One day when you can't get away, I'll tell you about having two of my wisdom teeth removed.
