How Pre-Schooler's see Howard Dean's religion

[Studlover (imported)]

Well, since presidential candidate Howard Dean has announced he will

inject religion into the campaign when he heads down south, we have some

thoughts about the Bible for him, offered by our focus group of

kindergartners:

In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, God got tired of creating the

world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark because Noah built the Ark,

which the animals came to in pears.

Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had

trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.

Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a

Jezebel like Delilah.

Samson slew the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread,

which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up

to Mount Cyanide to find the ten ammendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The seventh commandment is "Thou shalt not admit adultery."

Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand

still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the

Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna

Carta.

Then the three Wise Guys from the east arrived and found Jesus in the

manager.

Jesus was born because Mary had an Immaculate Contraption.

St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before

they do one to you.

He also explained that "Man does not live by sweat alone."

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the

tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed Jesus were called the 12 decibles.

The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached the holy acrimony, which

is another name for marriage.

A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

=====+++======

[John70 (imported)]

This is too funny!!!

[Sac_mec (imported)]

Is it funny? Depends on your sense of humour I imagine.

It is inventive but why are some Americans (as illustrated in this piece and elsewhere) so anti-Canadian?

So much of the humour in this section is at the expense of someone else's views or cultural beliefs. There is also an awful lot of it which offers no insight or value to the website.

In my opinion, can't we keep the site focused? I understand why the photo section went and I see this as a more important section to "junk". It is trite and its removal could only benefit all of us and add to the importance of our "public face".

Seriously, if people want a link to a joke website give them one but please let's free up this space and drop all this - please!

[Studlover (imported)]

If you read the heading to "Jokes, Levity" on the homepage of the message boards you would read "Post your amusing or interesting finds from the WWW, jokes, humor or whatever in here. Anything goes, click at your own risk. No SPAM, thanks ..."

Again, ANYTHING GOES.

[Sac_mec (imported)]

If you read the heading to "Jokes, Levity" on the homepage of the message boards you would read "Post your amusing or interesting finds from the WWW, jokes, humor or whatever in here. Anything goes, click at your own risk. No SPAM, thanks ..."

Again, ANYTHING GOES.

Exactly, and that is why this Section is completely out of place on the Eunuch Archive. I am asking the host to remove the Jokes, Levity section.

As I said it is trite and it enables some people to make jokes against the lifestyles or even locations of other users. Jokes are too often used for bitter sarcasm. I repeat, if the Archive wants a hyperlink to let people Jokes, OK.

The idea and the content do not add to the site. Please shut it down and let the board be more relevant. People read this stuff under "new posts" so it is not "at your own risk". The Archive has a function and being a vehicle for this humour is really so wrong (in my opinion).

[An Onymus (imported)]

Sac Mec, I understand why you feel as you do, and Paolo and others do censor some things out of the archive. However, as you know, humor sections are largely about the fact that people mostly take themselves and everything around themselves too seriously, and many of us have gotten some good laughs from this section. Maybe a few jokes go past the limits of acceptability, but very few. The joke section does have a place in the archive, and I think it should be left as it is.

The mention of Canada in Studlover's post, seems innocuous to me. You would probably be shocked speechless by some of the jokes other Canucks tell about Newfoundlanders. And did you ever hear the one about the Brit who........

[BossTamsin (imported)]

Is it funny? Depends on your sense of humour I imagine.

It is inventive but why are some Americans (as illustrated in this piece and elsewhere) so anti-Canadian?

I hate to ask, and do not wish to offend, but the only refernce I can see to Canada in the above joke is:

"

Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

"

Now, my bible knowledge is extremely poor, but wasn't Moses looking for the promised land? So wouldn't that then mean that Canada is the promised land?

Being Canadian myself, I don't see that as a bad reference at all. In fact, I rather like the idea of my country being considered the promised land.





As to the rest, with permission, I think I will decline to comment publicly. After all we Canadians are nothing, if not polite.

[Studlover (imported)]

I am very careful to not post jokes that I personally feel unacceptable. But being a Texan, native Texan, true native Texan, have you ever noticed the jokes I have posted about Texas? I try to never post something that truly demeans a person or his race or religion or politics. But these are often "open fields" for levity.

When one gets children who have their own interpretations of words such as those used in Biblical settings, it is amusing.

If one is truly offended by any of the jokes posted, including mine, there is the click of the mouse. The same with television. If a program offends one, please use the remote control, if your TV has one, otherwise, please upgrade. Click on the "channel up or down" or better still the "on/off" switch.

[MacTheWolf (imported)]

I liked it and its not anti-Canadian, anti-semetic nor anti-anything - It's just funny



MacTheWolf

[Kortpeel (imported)]

As a Genital of long standing (ouch!) I am unable to take umbrage at any of this except the request for censorship which is against my religion.

Anything goes means just that.

Kortpeel