New to group with fantasy and problem

[rowdyrider (imported)]

Hi everyone, well I joined a few days ago so figured I might as well introduce myself, and tell you my fantasy and problem.

I considered myself a masculine guy and quite honestly I like having strong sexual urges and really like sex. I've had a fantasy for several years now of finding a masculine guy who has been castrated, but taking hormones to keep up the sex drive and once comfortable in the relationship, then I too would get castrated. I find the idea of two sexually active castrated men together a turn on.

Now to the problem. For many years now, and I do mean many years, I've suffered from epididymitis. Any man that has had it knows the amount of pain that is involved. I have been to a hell of a lot of doctors about this problem. They tell me to wear briefs or jock straps which I do, but it doesn't help. I've been given all sorts of antibiotics, but it doesn't cure the problem. Sure, swelling goes down, but there are days when I'm still in pain. I like having sex, but it doesn't take long during sex for my nuts to start hurting so much, that I can't continue having sex with a sex partner. I found one doctor many years ago who said there was an operation to correct it, unfortunately he comitted suicide , but no doctor since seems willing to do it. It's like it's some sort of taboo or something with doctors, yet I have to be in pain. Several years ago I met a cutter online who was willing to castrate me as I was so desperate at the time I was willing to have him do it. However, my computer then crashed and I went to a doctor whom I truly trusted and he referred me to a urologist whom he said would "fix me right up". I went to this specialist brimming with hope. The only thing this urologist did was catherize my kidneys, which isn't even what I went in there for!

Anyway, I'd like to get the problem fixed and then if I ever meet a masculine eunuch that I can make I life with, then I would really like to be castrated at that point. Who knows maybe someday I'll find a doctor and maybe someday I'll find that special castrated guy. Ya'll have a great day/evening.

[Paolo]

Welcome to the zoo!



I can relate to what you're going through, because I've suffered from the same thing for several years. Some days are better than others. I've found that on bad days, Aleve (naproxen sodium) works best for relieving pain. However, there are times when a pain will stab you right out of nowhere and literally take you down. On the nights that Aleve just won't do it, there's always a fifth of Jack Daniels to help out.

Much as you describe, I ate antibiotics for years - literally. Talula and Gemm probably remember the one round of them (new one that time) that I reacted to badly, while chatting on IRC one night. That was one long night!

I'm sorry to hear that you've discovered, as I have, that just about every single doctor and even specialist out there will do just about anything that they can to run up a bill, play doctor, do this-that-and-the-other, and all the while AVOID the issue of chronic testicle pain.

The so-called "Best urology clinic" around here told me to consult a psychiatrist. This after a very thorough and PAINFUL exam and another prescription for antibiotics. Suffice it to say, I avenged myself on the way out the door and across the parking lot.

In total, I saw NINE (9) doctors, none of which offered any helpful advice. The last raised some hope, but then refused to follow through on his promises.

If there's one thing that all of this has taught me, it's not what caused your condition. It is not what you do about it. It's the fact that you DO have a valid CONDITION, a real PROBLEM, and that they will NOT listen to you. It is as if the professional medical community simply refuses to acknowledge that males of any age can have problems with the testicles that cannot be cured with a pill. Complaints of ongoing pain and suffering concerning the male genitals MUST be written off to a psychiatric problem. That's all they know, it seems.

For what it's worth, this ongoing problem left me miserable, taking antibiotics for literally years, and with near-constant pain which has since settled into a dull ache. It's of no comfort, I know, but eventually, you get used to it. It's much like living on a farm - soon you don't smell the cowpies anymore, even if you step in one!

It also caused recurring inflammations, infections, more pain (did I mention pain?!) swelling, extreme tenderness, and eventually, a shutdown of testicular function. However, all tests showed that both of the little darlings had proper circulation, were warm, were very much alive. And they didn't hurt - it was all in my head.

What it left me with was VERY erratic hormone production and fluxuating levels, a pretty much ZERO sperm count, and deformities of both cords and vesicles that just make me sick to even think about, much less feel. A man knows when his own balls are not right. It's common sense. But try explaining this to a doctor.

"Look, it didn't used to be like that. It's shaped different." They just look at you and refer you to the shrink.

On the other hand, I can't begin to imagine, as I told Jesus (A) lately, what my temper would be like now if I had a fully functional hormonal balance. I'm bad enough the way it is. Of course, historically, eunuchs have often been associated with bad tempers. Of course, if they were post-pubescent eunuchs, that only makes sense; but I digress.

I've found that you pretty much have limited options in dealing with this:

1. Live with it.

2. Pay Dr. Kimmell to do it, he's about the only one who WILL do it - for a fee, which not everyone can afford.

3. Find a cutter - which we at the Archive DO NOT recommend.

4. Do something stupid like pass out drunk after, say, banding, and let the ER deal with it. (Insert huge ER bill here!)

Of course, 3 and 4 also carry an extreme risk to your life.

For what it's worth, I'm sorry that you're pretty much in the same boat that I am. As you said, on the rare occassion that I do get an erection, or in the mood, the pain that I know is going to follow the pathetic excuse for a climax simply isn't worth it.

I can only say, good luck and I hope you find some resolution to the problem.

[rowdyrider (imported)]

Welcome to the zoo!



I can relate to what you're going through, because I've suffered from the same thing for several years. Some days are better than others. I've found that on bad days, Aleve (naproxen sodium) works best for relieving pain. However, there are times when a pain will stab you right out of nowhere and literally take you down. On the nights that Aleve just won't do it, there's always a fifth of Jack Daniels to help out.

Much as you describe, I ate antibiotics for years - literally. Talula and Gemm probably remember the one round of them (new one that time) that I reacted to badly, while chatting on IRC one night. That was one long night!

I'm sorry to hear that you've discovered, as I have, that just about every single doctor and even specialist out there will do just about

anything that they can to run up a bill, play doctor, do this-that-and-the-other, and all the while AVOID the issue of chronic testicle pain.

The so-called "Best urology clinic" around here told me to consult a psychiatrist. This after a very thorough and PAINFUL exam and another prescription for antibiotics. Suffice it to say, I avenged myself on the way out the door and across the parking lot.

In total, I saw NINE (9) doctors, none of which offered any helpful advice. The last raised some hope, but then refused to follow through on his promises.

If there's one thing that all of this has taught me, it's not what caused your condition. It is not what you do about it. It's the fact that you DO have a valid CONDITION, a real PROBLEM, and that they will NOT listen to you. It is as if the professional medical community simply refuses to acknowledge that males of any age can have problems with the testicles that cannot be cured with a pill. Complaints of ongoing pain and suffering concerning the male genitals MUST be written off to a psychiatric problem. That's all they know, it seems.

For what it's worth, this ongoing problem left me miserable, taking antibiotics for literally years, and with near-constant pain which has since settled into a dull ache. It's of no comfort, I know, but eventually, you get used to it. It's much like living on a farm - soon you don't smell the cowpies anymore, even if you step in one!

It also caused recurring inflammations, infections, more pain (did I mention pain?!) swelling, extreme tenderness, and eventually, a shutdown of testicular function. However, all tests showed that both of the little darlings had proper circulation, were warm, were very much alive. And they didn't hurt - it was all in my head.

What it left me with was VERY erratic hormone production and fluxuating levels, a pretty much ZERO sperm count, and deformities of both cords and vesicles that just make me sick to even think about, much less feel. A man knows when his own balls are not right. It's common sense. But try explaining this to a doctor.

"Look, it didn't used to be like that. It's shaped different." They just look at you and refer you to the shrink.

On the other hand, I can't begin to imagine, as I told Jesus (A) lately, what my temper would be like now if I had a fully functional hormonal balance. I'm bad enough the way it is. Of course, historically, eunuchs have often been associated with bad tempers. Of course, if they were post-pubescent eunuchs, that only makes sense; but I digress.

I've found that you pretty much have limited options in dealing with this:

1. Live with it.

2. Pay Dr. Kimmell to do it, he's about the only one who WILL do it - for a fee, which not everyone can afford.

3. Find a cutter - which we at the Archive DO NOT recommend.

4. Do something stupid like pass out drunk after, say, banding, and let the ER deal with it. (Insert huge ER bill here!)

Of course, 3 and 4 also carry an extreme risk to your life.

For what it's worth, I'm sorry that you're pretty much in the same boat that I am. As you said, on the rare occassion that I do get an erection, or in the mood, the pain that I know is going to follow the pathetic excuse for a climax simply isn't worth it.

I can only say, good luck and I hope you find some resolution to the problem.

Thanks for the reply Paolo. I'm glad to see I'm not alone. I gotta admit, I was beginning to wonder about my sanity! lol At least you gave me some good suggestions and some encouragement. I'll try to maybe live with it a bit longer and if need be, perhaps I'll see Dr. Kimmel. Thanks again!

[bobov (imported)]

Please see

http://my.webmd.com/content/healthwise/ ... 31713CA348}

and especially

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency ... 001279.htm

I wish you the very best of luck in coping with this awful problem.