New Language from the New California Govenor

[Studlover (imported)]

from the Internet (Details)

The New California Governor has just announced an agreement whereby

English will be the official language of the state, rather than German

which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, The

Terminator's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for

improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become

known as "Austro-English" (or, if nobody will be offended,

"Austrionics")..

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will

make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in

favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have

one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond

year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will

make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse

of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more

komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal

of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag

is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be

reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining

"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer

vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu

understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. If zis

mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl