Pumpkins

[Paolo]

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white

male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop.

"You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one

around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a

phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate for his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."

"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I

walked up to(Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize you're

screwing a pumpkin?"

He froze and was clearly surprised I was there. He looked me straight in the face and asked,

"A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"