Concerning my cats

[Andrew (imported)]

Dear Cats,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions

with each other so there are still two cats in the way.

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The

other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw

print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it

becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing

in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.

Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help,

because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry

about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to

ensure your comfort. Look at videos of cats sleeping, they can

actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular

to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also

know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out

the other end to maximize space used is nothing but kitty sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by

some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is

not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob, or get your paw

under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the

same door I entered. In addition, I have been using bathrooms for

years, feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other cats butt or lick

your own. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple

change for you.

Rules for non pet owners who visit and like to complain about our

pets:

1. The cats live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want cat hair on your clothes, stay off the

furniture.

3. I like my cats a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, she's a cat. To me, she's an adopted daughter who is

short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

5. Cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all

the time, are easier to train, sometimes come when called or at least

acknowledge that you have called by lifting an ear or something to let

you know they have heard you, never drive your car, don't hang out

with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don't worry about

buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a

gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell

the kitties.

Have you hugged your cat today???

[Mandragora (imported)]

Unless I'm missing something vital here, this is totally OT, but it put a smile of recognition to my face.

I've been the consenting sub to cats for well over thirty years now and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Lovely to read something original though!

[Andrew (imported)]

Unless I'm missing something vital here, this is totally OT, but it put a smile of recognition to my face.

I've been the consenting sub to cats for well over thirty years now and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Lovely to read something original though!

Of course this is on-topic, as it shows that, even after castration, we eunuchs like to have a little pussy in our lives

[Paolo]

Perhaps the cats are all fixed, too?http://www.eunuch.org/vbulletin/images/smilies/idea.gif

[Andrew (imported)]

Perhaps the cats are all fixed, too?

Yes, all cats have been castrated, just like me.

(Note to nitpickers. Czarina, female, has indeed been castrated. I use the term castrated in its correct form, to mean the removal of the gonads in either male or female.)

[Mandragora (imported)]

Of course this is on-topic, as it shows that, even after castration, we eunuchs like to have a little pussy in our lives.

Silly me! And that was so obvious!

Perhaps all the cats are neutered too?

Same here. I've been surrounded by eunuchs long before I got to the Archive!

As a matter of fact, there hasn't been a whole male in my household for years...

This must be a homecoming for me

[Gizmo (imported)]

Yes, all cats have been castrated, just like me.

(Note to nitpickers. Czarina, female, has indeed been castrated. I use the term castrated in its correct form, to mean the removal of the gonads in either male or female.)

Whoof

Just like me, hehehe

I am I think the youngest eunuch on the board.

3 1/2 years old.

whoof whoof

[Mac (imported)]

Whoof

Just like me, hehehe

I am I think the youngest eunuch on the board.

3 1/2 years old.

whoof whoof

Hi Antonia,

I see that you finally found Gizmo.