No Nursing Home for Me

[Studlover (imported)]

You gotta love it!

With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, there

is a better way when we get old & feeble.

I have acertained that I can get a nice room at the Holiday Inn for

around $65.00...that leaves $123.00 a day for beer, food (room service),

laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. They have a swimming pool, a workout

room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and

razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

Super 8 is somewhat more economical and they have a free breakfast,

though you usually have to walk next door for lunch and dinner.

There may be a bit of a wait to get that first floor room, but that's

OK, it takes months to get into decent nursing homes. There is the Senior

Bus, the Handicap bus (if you fake a decent limp), a Church bus or van, cabs,

and even a regular bus. For a change of lunch take the Airport Bus

and eat at one of the fast food cafe's there.

The Inn has security, and if someone sees you drop over, they will call

an ambulance. And should you break a hip, the American Way is to

Sue. What more can you ask for?

As a bonus, they all have AARP and other Senior discounts.

So:

When I reach the Golden age

help me keep my grin

Just check my old rickety ass

into the nearest Holiday Inn!

[An Onymus (imported)]

You get the impression that a lot of nursing homes are somewhat like the Hotel California--you can check out any time, but you can never leave.

[Falcon (imported)]

As someone who inspects nursing facilities, let me assure you, the folks at Holiday Inn are not going to change your Depends.

That said, keep in mind you can go on a week's cruise for under a grand a week if you take an inside cabin. Arguably, you could spend the rest of your life taking cruises....and it's a short walk to the buffet.

TB