A Lawyer Story

[Studlover (imported)]

Lawyer Story

In a trial, in a small Oklahoma town, a prosecuting attorney called his

first witness to the stand. She was sworn in, asked if she would tell

the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, on the Bible, so

help her God.

The witness was a proper well-dressed elderly lady, the grandmother

type, well-spoken and poised. The prosecuting attorney approached the

woman and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded,

"Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a

young boy and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie,

cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk badly about them behind their

backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the sense to

realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pushing

shyster. Yes, I know you quite well."

The lawyer was stunned and slowly backed away, fearing the looks on

the judge's and jurors' faces, not to mention the court reporter who

documented every word. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed

across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he

was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a bad drinking

problem. The man can't build or maintain a normal relationship with

anyone and his law practice is of the worst in the entire state. Not

to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I

know him."

The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping downward

in his chair, looking at the floor. Laughter mixed with gasps thundered

throughout the court room and the audience was on the verge of chaos.

At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called both

counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, "If either of

you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for

contempt!"