Stop me wandering ?

[Nick69 (imported)]

Lets say an individual is in an unsatisfactory sexual relationship with his partner but the rest of it is fine, could castration and the resultant loss of libido save the relationship, by removing the castratees potential to seek sexual gratification outside the relationship ?

Your thoughts would be useful.

Thanks

[Charlieje (imported)]

Nick,

You have just described my situation precisely prior to my castration in 1997. YES, it works as you suggest, but there is also a lot of emotion involved, and after all this time we are still working through all that. I still have times, when I've had too much to drink (which occurs too much lately) when I start thinking "I wouldn't have had to had it done if..."

Not laying any blame here, we share that equally, but the human mind being what it is, we still have moments when... well, suffice to say if you REALLY want to stay with her/him, and understand that is not without its problems, castration will definitely knock the floor out from under your libido. The rest is up to you and your partner.

[Leon (imported)]

"

Lets say an individual is in an unsatisfactory sexual relationship with his partner but the rest of it is fine, could castration and the resultant loss of libido save the relationship, by removing the castratees potential to seek sexual gratification outside the relationship ?

"

It really depends on what is wrong with the sexual side of things. Is it that the woman doe snot want sex at all or simply doesn't want sex the way she is having it now? Maybe she wants more sensual or maybe she just doesn't come from vaginal sex? This is not surpising due to scientifc research, vaginal sex has only a 10% chance of causing the woman to have an orgasm. There are so many other possibilities to try out and explore before completing nullifying sex and a psychosexual counsellor is probably the way to go.

But the again, it seemed to work for Charlieje.

All the best,

Leon

[sag111 (imported)]

In my case masterbation and pronography was out of controal and our marrage suffered because of it.Since chemical castration i am a mutch calmer person and more loving husband .Reacently i asked my wife if she wanted me to go off this medication and she told me NO. So yes it can help a relationship but again it is not for everyone.This is why i recomed chemical castration befor surgical castration.

[Riverwind (imported)]

SAG111, I agree with you, chemical castration is the way to go if you have any doubt. Take being a eunuch on a test drive and see how you like it. Being castrated is still a bit different then chemical castration but its close.

RW

[Nick69 (imported)]

Thanks for the informative replies.

With me its the porn and masturbation issues. While I love my wife I no longer find her sexually attractive (at least not with the regularity that she wants anyway). That said I could masturbate all day if I had the ability, so the drive is still there.

I feel that castration might make the areas of our relationship outside of intercourse more fulfilling (ie make me more caring and attentive) and soften the blow of the loss of penetrative intercourse for her.

I appreciate that each individual varies, but how many manage to achieve any sort of non-HRT induced penetrative intercourse ?

I'm sure that a discussion with my doctor or a counsellor would be advisable, but I've got serious concerns about not wanting to end up in a pysch ward just because some so called professional doesn't understand my needs and brands me a fruit loop.

Any thoughts ?

[sag111 (imported)]

Nick thies people are thair to help you and believe me counclers have heard it all .We may think that thay would not understand us but that is thair busness.My councler was very understanding and a lot of men have expresed the same problems that you and i have and we are not alone.So by all means see a councler and if that councler cant help you get a diffrent one.Rember thay are thair to help us good luck Nick.

[Leon (imported)]

(Everything in this post refers to what is considered good counselling practice in the UK only!)

Counsellors are NOT medical practioners. They can NOT legally prescribe drugs or recommend them. Only a psychiatrist can. Counsellors should be able to refer you to a psychiatrist if that is what is needed, but they HAVE to tell you before doing so, or they have broken confidentiality.

There are no laws concerning counselling in the UK. Anyone can set themselves up as one. To find a good counsellor seek out infrmation from a professional organisation, for example the BACP. If a counsellor breaks confidentiality, you need to contact such an organisation and make a FORMAL complate against them. The only problem is most organisations will only take it further if the counsellor is a member of their organisation, but they should be able to help you by giving you other channels to contact in getting something done against the counsellor.

Things to watch out for when going to a counsellor:

They should tell you what organisations they belong to and what approach they take.

They shoudl tell you whether they do long term or short term work.

They should tell you about confidentaility and about their supervisor, in so much that they have one. Do NOT see a counsellor who does not have a supervisor!!!

The job of a counsellor is to offer the following:

EMPATHY

UNCODITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD

CONGREUNCE (Honesty)

This simply means, they should be able to relate to you and come to understand you from your point of view, not impose their opinions and views on you. (A good way to know if they are doing this is, what sort of questions are they asking you? Open, closed or leading? A counsellor should not ask a client a leading question for it involkves making you see the world from their point of view when they are meant to be seeing the world from yours, even if they are slightly de-attached to preserve their independence.)

Before seeing a counsellor, read their literature first. To get hold of it, either search the internet or send off for it. If they don't have any, don't go there. The literature should provide a brief overview of what counselling is and how it may help you.

If you go there, and you don't feel uncomfortable, first talk through why you don't with the counsellor, and if you still don't, find one that you too. Counsellors are trained to deal in strong emotions and to help you find away through them, and you can't do that if you don't feel relaxed in their presence.

I hope this short overview, kind of places what counselling is and how it might be able to help.

"...

and believe me counclers have heard it all .

"

In the counselling class I am in, we set up a pretend counselling session based on a real life case. It dealt with a mad woman stalking her boss. You think you have problems!!!

All the best,

Leon

[bonobo (imported)]

Hi,

Maybe a personal note may help you to learn if castration is right for you. It is always a personal decsision of course, but the experience of others may help.

I will first introduce myself. I was castrated a few weeks ago to reduce my libido and sexdrive. I had it done because it gave me trouble in both my relation with my wife as did my temper in my daily life. I already feel much calmer now and the rest of the changes will happen over time. My story will probably resemble that of other married eunuchs who experienced a mismatch in sexdrive with their partner.

I first took Androcur for about 8 months two years ago to see if a castration would be beneficial for me as a person and for my relation. I would strongly recommend trying chemical castration first for everyone considering castration before moving on the surgery. If your relation doesn't improve there are other ways to deal with relational problems, such as counseling.

Also take care to have it done safely. In the US there are several possibilities to have it done, e.g. Dr. Kimmel, in Europe it is somewhat more difficult.

Improving your relation is one thing of course, but you must also think about the impact of castration on your personal life. Your relation may go well or may fail afterwards, but you will have to live your life as a eunuch after surgery. What about children, do you already have kids or do realy never want to father children ?

I/we discussed castration for a while before we both felt we could take the step. We now both feel happy that it is done and we hope to enjoy our lives together for all the years to come.

If you take your time to consider it, castration can be a real option to improve your relation and your life, but take the decision wisely.

Kind regards,

"Paul"

[Andrew (imported)]

This is a work-in-progress. Suggestions for improvement are always welcome.

Every Eunuch will have different effects from his castration. Some of this may depend on whether he is an “elective” Eunuch or not. YMWV = Your Mileage Will vary. Some side effects of castration are:

Infertility, in all cases.

Many (but not all) elective eunuchs develop “The Eunuch Calm”, with reduced or eliminated thoughts of sex, aggression, and ambition. In the words of Dr. Spector, “either case of TS or eunuch, a deep, calm serenity develops which, from then on, makes life far more worthwhile.” This has happened to me, but again, YMWV. This is less likely to happen to non-elective eunuchs.

Reduced libido, erections, and nocturnal emissions, sometimes to the point of total asexuality.

Weight gain, including subcutaneous body fat. This thin layer of fat causes the skin to become softer and smoother.

Loss or thinning of body hair, but male pattern baldness slows down or stops. Reduced body odor.

Loss of lean muscle mass (hence muscle weakness, increased fatigue, and loss of stamina). Your shoulders will become narrower and you will lose muscle definition in your upper torso without a VIGOROUS exercise program.

Little to mild breast development, and mild fat redistribution around the hips and thighs.

The penis may shrink.

Hot flushes and night sweats in some cases, lasting up to 5 years.

POSSIBLE moodiness and tearfulness. Do not be surprised if you start crying far more frequently over what may seem to be trivial matters.

There MIGHT be cognitive losses, mostly in spatial orientation and short term memory

Post-surgical depression is common. Possible chronic depression SHOULD be a major concern, and may require professional therapy. This is far more likely to happen to non-elective eunuchs.

The WORST side effect is osteoporosis. You should take at least 1,500 MG of calcium and 400 IU of Vitamin A daily. Shortly before or after castration, you should have a bone density scan, and after that a scan every two years. A proper diet and exercise program will help in the battle against osteoporosis.

Most Physicians have no experience in caring for a hypogonadal man. Consider finding a Physician who has a thorough working knowledge on the problems and treatments of menopausal and post-menopausal women. Whilst the biology of a Eunuch and a post-menopausal woman are not identical, there is some overlap.