Questions after the cut

[TheHavier (imported)]

Justme, it wasn't that there was little sex in my marriage. My wife had sex with me. Frequently. 4-5 times a week. But it wasn't like either of us really enjoyed it either. She was uncomfortable, sometimes I would hit it the wrong way and she would flench. Sometimes she would complain of pain afterward. I Love that woman! I hated myself for doing that to her. After she was diagnosed with a uterine prolapse, and I understood it really was something physical, not just in her mind, I tried to cut back to once a week. Usually I couldn't make it past 4-5 days. She handled that well. Give her some time to recover I guess. I didn't I became really nasty, short, mean.

Now, by this time I had been talking for some time of getting castrated. I reached out to an understanding surgeon a couple years back. All she required was an ok from a mental health professional and a pre-op ok from a Dr. Her office referred me to an understanding mental health Dr. After talking with the surgeon, she didn't think I would have a problem getting a letter, and we set a surgery date in June of 2023.

The psychiatrist was very understanding. Had helped many men in my situation. He was willing to write the letter, but suggested that my wife and I get checked out for physical problems first. I went to the Dr. First. A couple health issues were found that I needed to address before I considered surgery. I canceled the date. It was harder to get my wife to the Dr. But a burst ovarian cyst finally talked her into going in this past spring. And I've told you what she found then.

Now my wife was always hesitant about me getting cut, but when I brought it back up at the end of June, both of us were tired of what the limited sex was doing to me, she said go for it. She didn't see another option. I set the wheels back in motion, and on August 28th I was castrated. She took a week off from work to nurse me through recovery. By the time she went back to work results were already noticeable. She loves on me a lot more now. She says I'm easier to love. I think its because she knows I won't need sex. We've been having sex once a week. I'm not a beast in between. I think as a woman she still likes to know that she's desirable. I don't know how long I can keep that up, but I would be ok now without it. She says she would be too.

Now with us, it was Love at first sight. For the last 26 years we have absolutely adored one another. Without a doubt we are soul mates. Back in June she told me I was making her life hell. That's when we made some decisions and took some steps. Last week she confided in me that she had been considering leaving to try to shock me into change. That would have decimated me. Even if she had come back, and she would have, she loves me, I would have never recovered from that. Now we are so happy. Things are better than they have been for years.

[wanasoso2 (imported)]

I had your wonderful testimony read by my wife. To help her understand how we, men, could feel with all this sex drive and what could be obtained with this extreme but possible solution. I wish you that your love for each other will grow on if possible.

[HumanFly (imported)]

What's the physical side like after six weeks? I understand libido would be down but what else? Do you still get erections?

[TheHavier (imported)]

Thank You Wanasoso. I appreciate that. My hope is that this will be here for couples searching for answers. It was really hard for me to find answers.

Humanfly, thanks for the question. Some things to keep in mind. This was expressed to me by both the surgeon and psychiatrist, the Dr. Who did my pre-op as well as everyone on here. These are my words now. It's a crap shoot. There are side effects. They are different for every man. You don't know which ones are going to fall on you. The psychiatrist told me that the only given was a reduction in libido. What I've read is from 60% to extinction and it takes from 6 months to a year to reach full effect. I'm 52. At my age I've seen where it could be as quick as 4 months. So, I can only tell you where I'm at now. Take in mind that when I was cut I was not on chemical castration drugs. I've never taken them. That may make my experiences different from a lot of others. I don't know. The only differences I've noticed so far are hot flashes. They don't bother me as they are not bad, so far, that may change. I don't get frustrated, agitated, and downright mean nearly as quickly as I did. Now, something brought out the nasty in me just last night, but I got over it quick. My libido is different. Not gone, but different. When the wife and I get close, I still want sex, especially after a few days. Now, it doesn't happen as often. But I don't get mean when it doesn't, I just go on with life. That amazes me. Before I would get frustrated, be agitated and flat out mean as hell until i got it. That's why, even after sex started hurting my wife, she would usually give in any way. She really feared the beast. Now, I've never struck my wife. Period. I still hated the way I become. But try as I did, I couldn't stop myself. Now, it's totally different. Do I get erections? Yes. Not as frequently, but to be honest, age was starting to catch me there before. But as of waking up this morning, I could still. Get an erection. And the last time the wife and I checked, we could still use them. Ejaculation has changed. Much less but still there. Orgasms have changed. Not as powerful, but the last one tingled me from the waist to the toes. That was a surprise! I'm sure that things will change over the next few months, but that's how things are now. Hope that helps.

Havier

[Castratedstud (imported)]

Well, good for you. I was castrated in 2016. I have been on TRT ever since. Tried a couple times with no trt, the side effects drove me nuts: Brain fog and moderate anxiety. Now I’m at half a dose, hopefully I can plan on stopping it again maybe next month sometime.

[TheHavier (imported)]

I've had brain fog for a while. Don't know if its age or the gabapentin I'm taking. I don't think its gotten worse, but it's not really bad. About a week in I had a bout of anxiety. It lasted about 30 minutes to an hour. The surgeon give me a prescription for muscle spasms and anxiety. Took one of those, it left like it came, and I haven't felt that way since. My question for you is, how long after you went off hormones did this hit you? I take for granted these are things I need to be mindful of.

[WheelyFixed]

Brain fog is definitely a known side effect of gabapentin... It and some of it's derivatives are one of the drugs that is often used by SCI patients for neuropathic pain and spasticity, and brain fog and other mental issues are often a problem that is reported.... Effectiveness is also highly variable, some find it helps a lot, others don't get any benefit.

They had me on it for a while when I first got hurt, and I was one of those that it didn't do anything for.... Not sure if it caused much brain fog as I was also on opioids at the same time, and they caused plenty of issues by themselves.

Definite advice in the SCI world is to avoid it if possible, and do the lowest effective dose if you can't... There are also some related drugs that some have found work better or have less side effect, IIRC, Lyrica (or something like that) was one...

WheelyFixed

[TheHavier (imported)]

Wheely, I've been taking gabapentin for over a year now for neuropothy in my feet. It got terrible after I got my sugar under control. Doc said that improves for most people, but it seems I wasn't one of the lucky ones. The soles of my feet hurt so bad that I truly hated to walk. It would hurt so bad that it would hurt up to my knees. The main side effect I've had is that I can tolerate the pain in my feet. Now, if I have a little brain fog, that doesn't bother me near as bad as my feet did. My cousin told me about the lyrica. I may ask about it. But for right now, well, with gabapentin is better than without.

[wannabe- (imported)]

Thank you wheelyfixed for your response

I don’t think you understand fully the subject matter , are you qualified in any area of psychology or sexual issues ,

There are men who simply want to be eunuchs , they do not identify with being feminine in any way , I would never see my self as having an gender identity issue .

I see myself as quiet quiet normal , I love my penis but want the calmness of being a eunuch , as an adult with a desire to have the procedure , it’s such a pity that the service is not available to people like me . It’s about having control over our bodies just like some women want control over their bodies in abortion cases .

thank you anyway for your opinion although I found it presumptive and unhelpful

[Castratedstud (imported)]

Wheely, I've been taking gabapentin for over a year now for neuropothy in my feet. It got terrible after I got my sugar under control. Doc said that improves for most people, but it seems I wasn't one of the lucky ones. The soles of my feet hurt so bad that I truly hated to walk. It would hurt so bad that it would hurt up to my knees. The main side effect I've had is that I can tolerate the pain in my feet. Now, if I have a little brain fog, that doesn't bother me near as bad as my feet did. My cousin told me about the lyrica. I may ask about it. But for right now, well, with gabapentin is better than without.

Brain fog and anxiety started right at the beginning of 4th week. Usually out of no where my brain turned blank, then anxiety attack started. Symptoms last for only a couple of minutes. Those were the major symptoms I got without hormones. This is my 8th year without testicles, I no longer have morning erections, right now while on half a dose(100mg bi weekly), I can manage my sex drive better. Ejaculation surprisingly still the same, same colour, same volume. I did a blood work at 4th week without TRT, it came in at 3.9 nmol/l, normal range in Canada is 8.4-28.8