What brought you to the archive?

[wasala92 (imported)]

For me it started with circumcision. I developed a fetish for it a while back and while searching for erotic stories on the subject, I got to the archive. I used to be quite squeamish about everything beyond circumcision, but over time I became more curious, to the point of having written and published some stories here myself

[dandelion]

I’ve had a fetish for cutting of dicks ever since I began to think about sex. I remember drawing a picture of a buy in uniform having his dick cut off. Pretty sure I found out about EA when I was in middle/high school when internet became popular. Been enjoying the stories and just posted one myself earlier this month.

[Lamarrha (imported)]

Having a castration fantasy since I was 8 and was watching my dad, uncle, and cousin castrate calves on our family farm. My uncle and cousin talked about going on a trip and had vasectomies together, they told their wives that it was a hunting trip.

In September of 1997 I printed the archive index on one sheet of 8 and a half by 11 paper.

[cheetaking243 (imported)]

Stories are what brought me here.

Starting at puberty, I began to be extremely unhappy with what testosterone was doing to my body. I coped with this via writing stories where my self-insert main characters could be rid of their equipment (or just switch sexes) via various magical/scientific-discovery means.

Experiencing it via fictional proxy was how I coped with the body dysphoria I was feeling about my then-equipment and my unwanted sex drive.

Around college, I stumbled upon the EA and the fiction archive. (This was back when the EA's fiction archive was still open and searchable to the general public.) There were a couple of stories about total nullification, plus many about transgender-adjacent topics. In particular, Prudence's 'Traveling Tradesgirl' series kept me coming back year after year to see if there were any new updates. It was all about those stories, and how they helped me cope with and process my discomfort with being stuck with male genitals against my will. (And with so many transgender-specific sites focusing near-exclusively on stereotypically-feminine gender presentation and clothing rather than physical body dysphoria, this was the only place I could really find stories involving the more-explicit genital-modifying details that most of my dysphoria was based around.)

[Side note: finding this place set me off on my actual real-life gender journey which I'd previously not allowed myself to indulge in due to Christian self-repression. But writing and reading helped me realize that I wasn't alone, and I eventually found out about testosterone-blocking medications and HRT due to this site. And it wasn't long before I realized via comparing my experiences with others that it wasn't in fact "just a fetish," it was genuine body-map-feels-wrong-on-a-fundamental-level kinds of discomfort. And I was lying to myself about it not being "serious" / "I can live with it" as a dysphoria coping mechanism.]

[WheelyFixed]

I think I had a long standing (since as early as I can remember) not particularly conscious desire, which came out as a primary theme in my fantasies that seemed to frequently involve all sorts of castration / genital modification scenarios - whether doing or being done, how, etc. varied all over the place, but the bits (mine or others) were always involved... Sometimes there was a sex change but usually not, and while I knew there were TG folks, I didn't have any particular interest in that direction.

After I got hurt, which rendered me incapable of orgasm, I was incredibly frustrated, but didn't know what to do about it...

I don't know why but one time when on Quora, I had a got a pointer towards something about eunuchs in the list of 'suggested topics' and ended up following it... It told me that voluntary castration was actually a 'thing' people did, and gave a list of positive benefits that totally 'clicked' for me to the point where I wanted to learn more, and ended up finding EA not long after. Fortunately it was before they changed the rules about having to register in order to read the forums, so I 'lurked' for a couple of months, and finally got up the courage to register and start asking questions...

The answers and support I got helped me figure out that this was what I wanted and convinced me to go to the local TG center and follow the SOC v.8 path to where I am today....

WheelyFixed

[wasala92 (imported)]

Thanks for sharing.

[wanasoso2 (imported)]

I was working with my sex therapist to search ways for a better sex life with my wife which is no longer interest in sexual activities. One thing leading to another I became interested in chastity cages as a kind of play to bring interest in my wife. It doesn't work of course and in my discussion with my sex therapist she explained to me the way these device could be seen as a psychological castration. When I did some web search on castration to help me understand the pros and cons I found the EA. This was a little more than two years ago and now I'm a current reader of testimonies of men reducing their libido in order to maintain a good lovely relationship with their wife. I'm in this kind of pattern and for the others I found interesting how castration could fullfill other life patterns and emotions. In our last discussion my sex therapist ask me if I would seriously consider chemical castration. I shows how it is present in my feelings and the way I express myself to her. I think I'm on my way...

[Hisgoodson (imported)]

My literal answer also includes my emotional answer:

I feel like I was pulled here. I didn’t go through many of the journeys read here - that of dysphoria, medical issues, sexual roles, or fetishes. I did stumble across penectomies and nullos a decade-plus again during a fleeting bme curiosity, but I’d say any interest at that time was a mix of morbid interest and disbelief at how a person could make such a profound sacrifice.

Just before coming here I was inexplicably gripped by the “idea” of being a eunuch and my research brought me here. After reading just a few short posts I realized I was a eunuch and everything- past, present, and future suddenly made sense. Further research on the site confirmed I was on the right path.

As a religious man, I pray to my Lord that he may speed me on my path, so that I may finally be at peace.

[Andalusian (imported)]

Ironically I found this place because some very intolerant fascists were trying to doxx and expose this forum and some of its most prolific members, and I was immediately really interested by the eunuch experience as an unique gender identity, as a very special relationship one could have with their body and their inner self-perception, so I was immediately very drawn to know more about it (which was accelerated by the fact that this is a community that's been alive since the early days of the internet and has kept the same forum format which I really fucking yearn).

Also I have been pursuing for some time my orchiectomy so that I don't depend on really expensive meds to suppress my T (actually, I don't have to pay for them because I transitioned through Social Security in my country but if I ever move elsewhere I don't want to change my meds or have to go through a medical system that may be much more violent and transmysoginistic tho) so yeah that's my story :3