When i was a teen i had frequent nightmares about being castrated, by monsters, wild animals or evil men. The strange thing was that between anger and pain at the short moment when my testicles were caught in this dreams i felt a moment of excitation, kind infinite pleasure just before everything ended in pain and death. It's something i can't get off my mind. I don't have plans do realize this because i can't imagine a life after it and no desire to really loose them but it is still a fascinating fantasy.
