**Book Announcement**

[JesusA (imported)]

The following book announcement is from Jonathan. You can find him on the member list if you want to send him a Private Message.

Hi all--I don't post all that much, but I follow others' posts. I have spent years writing a memoir called "The Flower from a Poisoned Seed" that I began (and ended) because I needed to understand myself and to understand why I had developed these incredibly exciting and in equal measure, incredibly disturbing s//m type fantasies focused on castration, usually of me. Trying to figure myself out began my number one life task. At the same time, I developed other lifelong interests in left wing, even revolutionary politics, and in Buddhism and Buddhist meditation. I would say that the as a consequence, I have lived large, but quietly. Long story short: it was severe trauma that entered my libido at a young age, where I could deal with it later. The path I took ( a personal decision for myself only) was to examine where my interest in castration came from and gain some freedom from it rather than going through with it, though that was a strong desire. This is the link to the book on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Flower-Poisoned- ... 114&sr=8-1

(https://www.amazon.com/Flower-Poisoned- ... 114&sr=8-1)

Here is what I wrote on the back of the book: "In early adolescence, the author discovers that, without having any choice in the matter, he has been saddled with ineradicable, violent erotic fantasies that are as troubling to him as they are exciting. After falling into long-term depression as a young adult, he meets a quirky and amiable psychoanalyst named Dr. Ganapathy with whom he embarks on a life-long quest, journeying into his inner world to understand the source of his unhappiness, and to right what is wrong. Again and again, he explores his desires with other men in the bdsm community only to return to Dr. Ganapathy to examine his experiences. He learns of the origin of his conflicted sexuality in childhood trauma that had become bound up with his libido. Becoming increasingly at peace with himself, he finds his unique personal voice, with a distinct perspective on society and personal liberation."

I am personally very available to talk to others if any might want it, though i can only speak from whatever insights my own experiences have given me. all the best to everyone.

[Jonathan (imported)]

I want to thank Jesus for posting this for me, and also the EA for allowing it. perhaps like many on this website, I spent years wondering "what's wrong with me," and years of my life trying to sort out what it meant to have a castration fetish. For me, sorting something out means writing it out in a narrative way so that I could come to understand how it all fit together. The book referred to above is the result. I decided along the way that for me (and I speak only for myself here. I don't want to make any statements about what is good for others), the problem was not having testicles, but having undergone childhood trauma that had to be hidden from the world, and therefore, it became part of my libido where it could sort of hide until I was older and could examine it. It is really a work of love, written with the hope that maybe it can be of help to others beside myself.