It is done.....

[cw1911nr (imported)]

Congratulations and good luck with your new life style.

Seing that one of your motivations is to reach your wife libido level which as you said is around 0. I wonder if you would be interested in sharing some more about how are you feelings and state of mind about this aspect after some months maybe.

I'm in a similar situation with still some interest in sex with a wife at 0 libido, which is suffering in many situations. Also, castration to level libido according to wife's one has been commonly seen in the EA and also in the last survey by Jesus.

Wich you the best.

Wanasoso,

I will be happy to share as things progress. That being said, my trials with Androcur enabled me to experience little to no libido. I found this liberating on many levels, and it also allowed me some insight into why many with low libido have no desire to change things, or to put it another way, to increase their libido. Life, at least for me (and my wife, per many discussions) is simpler and more productive without libido interfering. I am more productive and happier without my libido. I don't miss it, and it has greatly improved our relationship.

I can say this, I am at peace with my decision. My wife was concerned, as she should be. Going under anesthesia and having body parts removed electively is kinda nuts, but it all worked out so far. Now, just physical healing, which is gonna take awhile. I hope this part goes smoothly, to say the least.

Anyway, I spent hours yesterday on the computer and realized that I was in my recliner with my legs comfortably together. Had not "adjusted" all day. That was nice! Also, I am a side sleeper and always had to pop my nuts out from between my legs so they wouldn't get squished, hot, painful, etc. Not having to do that is nice also! I find it hard to believe after all this time that they are gone, but it feels normal already.

For those wanting another data point on recovery post orchiectomy which scrotum excision, I am on on day 3 now. I have some bruising, but little compared to some photos I have seen. Pain is about a 2 on a 1 -10 scale already. Just a slight tender spot on the left pubic bone area. It is much better than it was two days ago. No pain med whatsoever today. Yesterday I took one 500mg Naproxen. Just keeping it clean, applying triple antibiotic ointment and taking my antibiotic.

[WheelyCurious]

Thanks for the update CW, as I get closer to my own surgery, I'd say my biggest single concern is what the recovery is going to look like... I'm going to be different in some ways I'm sure since I don't do any sort of walking, but instead have to do transfers and weight shifts w/ my arms (but this does involve using my feet and legs as pivot points...)

My GF has a lot of limitations due to her own medical issues, so won't be able to do anything significant to help me during recovery... I'm seeing it as possible that I could get stuck in a nursing home for a few days while healing if they say I have to worry about transfers...

I can very much relate to the comfort aspects as they are a nuisance when sitting (I do that a lot...) and I am also a side sleeper... My GF is also concerned and doesn't really get why I want this, but is OK with it, and doesn't see libido or lack of it as an issue - she's post menopausal, and I haven't been 'functional' since I got hurt in 2010...(much as I'd like to be...)

WheelyCurious

[wanasoso2 (imported)]

Thank you CW1911 for your rapid and friendly response.

Your experience seams good and it is encouraging to see the rapid adaptation. Me too, even with only one testicule I feel it bulky and in the way too as I'm also a side sleeper. Moreover all the sticky wet skin very unpleasant. I like the feeling of having nothing between my legs when I'm tuchked. It's the still remaining libido that botters me. I don't known, even if it is already not to invasive, How I could react without it. That's the basic of my ambilvalence.

Take care.

[cw1911nr (imported)]

Wheely,

The thing they (being those who have lost their libido naturally - menopausal, or otherwise, or even via surgery), who may have never had a strong libido to begin with, cannot relate to is the sexual urge of those of us with a high libido.

An analogy I used with my wife which sorta made sense to her was being intoxicated. You can't just declare you are not intoxicated while you are indeed intoxicated. You must wait for the alcohol to be flushed from your system. The same with a testosterone driven libido, if one can equate T with alcohol for analogy purposes. You can't just declare yourself libido free, you have to stop taking the drug (Testosterone), then the behaviors that Testosterone drives are removed, just as they are when alcohol is cleared from the body.

My doc was concerned about blood clots, especially on our drive home from Atlanta. It was only 3.5 hours, but he have instructions on some leg movements to used to keep the blood flowing. So, you may have travel issues in addition to home recovery to take into account. All you can do is ask, and see what they say.

[WheelyCurious]

Wheely,

The thing they (being those who have lost their libido naturally - menopausal, or otherwise, or even via surgery), who may have never had a strong libido to begin with, cannot relate to is the sexual urge of those of us with a high libido.

An analogy I used with my wife which sorta made sense to her was being intoxicated. You can't just declare you are not intoxicated while you are indeed intoxicated. You must wait for the alcohol to be flushed from your system. The same with a testosterone driven libido, if one can equate T with alcohol for analogy purposes. You can't just declare yourself libido free, you have to stop taking the drug (Testosterone), then the behaviors that Testosterone drives are removed, just as they are when alcohol is cleared from the body.

My doc was concerned about blood clots, especially on our drive home from Atlanta. It was only 3.5 hours, but he have instructions on some leg movements to used to keep the blood flowing. So, you may have travel issues in addition to home recovery to take into account. All you can do is ask, and see what they say.

Your analogy makes sense, though not sure it applies in this case, as her not understanding is seemingly not related as much to the libido question as it is the notion of voluntarily wanting surgery of any sort...

Travel is not a big concern I don't think, as it's pretty certain that I'll be getting done at the same relatively local hospital where I get all my other care - about a 45 minute drive as long as stay out of rush hour, and probably sitting in the same wheelchair I'm in any time I leave the house... I'm more concerned about being able to do the transfers I have make do in order to do normal self care. She is not able to give me significant help with this, or things like changing bandages and so on... I also have some concerns about HER ability to handle her own stuff if I'm away from home for more than a few days....

We are a 'multi-disability' household as of a couple of years ago, with a major role reversal, where she had been my caregiver to the limited extent that I needed one (I'm a stubbornly independent sort) and I had to change to being hers... She had a bad reaction to a cancer drug that left her legally blind and w/ serious mobility impairment. I have to do all the meatspace shopping, mail handling, most of the cooking, and so on... We have finally got her insurance set up so that she can get a paratransit to most of here medical appointments but otherwise I have to drive her...

WheelyCurious

[CFI10000 (imported)]

Many doctors will not even consider doing what Dr. Fara offers for men who want castration. Especially for men who want to be calm and non-sexual (unrelated to gender issues). What sort of questions did he ask you? Did you understand how he became comfortable offering an open-minded approach to men who want to be Eunuchs?

If a doctor agrees, it's usually kept a low profile, and they would never advertise this. Or the patient needs to make up something about their testicles being painful (providing a medical reason). I understand he offers help for gender-related issues (with the typical letters documenting their long counseling process). Advertising to make a man into an "alternative male" without the involvement of a psychological counselor is unheard of in the USA (aside for Dr. Arnkoff). Did you understand if he helps many men who want this service by only requiring a written essay (specifically for wanting not to be bothered with sexual urges)?

The doctor I went to quietly offers his help to men who want bigger balls with implants (if theirs have shrunk because of testosterone replacement). For certain men, he suggests castration during the process. That part is not advertised. It's just a thing between the doctor and the patient. He does offer to come up with a medical reason to help get some insurance coverage for the castration. That is why everything is kept very discrete. I doubt he would ever offer it to men who want to become non-sexual. Again, what Dr. Fara provides is far from common.

[WheelyCurious]

I don't know how it is in your state CF, but I've had no issues so far here in my state... I went to the TG center in the hospital where I get my other care, and started getting help as of my first appointment... It has been a mildly lengthy process since, but no significant hassles or delays beyond the sort I have getting an appointment for ANY sort of medical care. At least some of the process, according to my doc, is to keep my insurance happy.... (They haven't quite caught up w/ SOC 8 yet)

I started well after the SOC 8 Draft version was released, but before the 'official' release... That said, I think that it MAY have been helpful that I made it very clear that I was quite familiar with both SOC 7 and 8.

Being familiar w/ SOC 8 also helped in that knowing what sorts of things were in it helped in figuring out how to answer the questions asked in ways that were consistent with it... (Note - I did NOT say anything dishonest, it was more the sort of thing like answering questions in a job interview, phrasing matters)

The other big thing I feel helped is that I could show that I had seriously "done my homework" in terms of understanding the medical consequences / risks / downsides of what I was asking for. The biggest part of the process is 'informed consent' so you need to really demonstrate that you are INFORMED

IMHO, but I think that with the release of SOC 8, things have gotten a lot easier... Oh, and at least the first doctor I saw said I was her FIRST M->E patient, but didn't bat an eye at the concept of wanting to make that transition.

WheelyCurious

[justapup (imported)]

Congratulations! I didn't leave the bed for 2 days after my orchiectomy. It was sitting up straight that was my biggest issue. It took like three weeks! But boy did it fix some pain I was constantly in.

[cw1911nr (imported)]

CF, His service is definitely unique! He (or more specifically, his office manager Judy) asked for a letter with my reasoning. They also asked for a letter from my wife, which I thought was interesting. Anyway, other than that and asking a couple of times if I was sure this is what I wanted, that was it. We had no one on one conversation as to why, as that was done in written form and was sufficient.

I was curious about how the people who worked in the surgical center who were not part of his office staff would be, given the uniqueness of this service. No one batted an eye. Everyone was friendly, courteous and helpful! It was a great process. I was nervous calling their office, but Judy and Zara immediately put me at ease. My dealings with the surgery center were great. The whole process was super easy and very professional.

I did ask Dr. Fara how many of these elective orchiectomies he did a year. He said he does over about 150 - 200 per year! I did not ask how he came to offer this service, but that would be interesting to know.

For anyone wondering, about my recovery experience, it has been largely uneventful. I am now 8 days out from surgery. I have one more day of antibiotics. I have bruising along both sides of the incision, but that is now starting to get better. The most painful areas are the ends of the spermatic cords. They are resting on my pubic mound and are pretty sensitive. The incision has been painless, other than the sutures, which is just mildly uncomfortable. I am surprised how well I am getting around. Other than not lifting stuff, I am back to my daily routine. Sitting is not even a problem. I am already amazed at how comfortable sitting with my legs together is. No sweaty balls, no sticky skin! This is gonna be awesome!

WC, My wife also had strong reservations about getting elective surgery of any kind, but in the end, just left that up to me. She understood why I wanted it done, but she did not like the idea of actually getting it done. Not because I would not have nuts anymore, simply because of the surgical risk, which I now understand even more why your GF would have reservations! Words cannot adequately express my sincereness, but I am truly sorry to hear all that has happened to her, and to you. I wish you both the best. You will find a way.

[WheelyCurious]

CF, His service is definitely unique! He (or more specifically, his office manager Judy) asked for a letter with my reasoning. They also asked for a letter from my wife, which I thought was interesting. Anyway, other than that and asking a couple of times if I was sure this is what I wanted, that was it. We had no one on one conversation as to why, as that was done in written form and was sufficient.

I was curious about how the people who worked in the surgical center who were not part of his office staff would be, given the uniqueness of this service. No one batted an eye. Everyone was friendly, courteous and helpful! It was a great process. I was nervous calling their office, but Judy and Zara immediately put me at ease. My dealings with the surgery center were great. The whole process was super easy and very professional.

I did ask Dr. Fara how many of these elective orchiectomies he did a year. He said he does over about 150 - 200 per year! I did not ask how he came to offer this service, but that would be interesting to know.

For anyone wondering, about my recovery experience, it has been largely uneventful. I am now 8 days out from surgery. I have one more day of antibiotics. I have bruising along both sides of the incision, but that is now starting to get better. The most painful areas are the ends of the spermatic cords. They are resting on my pubic mound and are pretty sensitive. The incision has been painless, other than the sutures, which is just mildly uncomfortable. I am surprised how well I am getting around. Other than not lifting stuff, I am back to my daily routine. Sitting is not even a problem. I am already amazed at how comfortable sitting with my legs together is. No sweaty balls, no sticky skin! This is gonna be awesome!

WC, My wife also had strong reservations about getting elective surgery of any kind, but in the end, just left that up to me. She understood why I wanted it done, but she did not like the idea of actually getting it done. Not because I would not have nuts anymore, simply because of the surgical risk, which I now understand even more why your GF would have reservations! Words cannot adequately express my sincereness, but I am truly sorry to hear all that has happened to her, and to you. I wish you both the best. You will find a way.

Thanks for the update and the kind words

WheelyCurious