Praying for your real life to finally begin

[romuluso (imported)]

Hello everyone. Been a member here for quite some time and hope to always be, even if my participation is less than others do. Can’t stress enough how much finding this group effected my life. Met one of my very best friends, a man I could relate to better than any I’d ever known in life. 10 years ago, I knew with all my heart that the ball between my legs did not belong. Speaking with eunuchs like ya’ll helped me realize not all of us deserve our testicles. It’s been such a gift for me to better understand what kind of male I was meant to be.

And yet also extremely frustrating to still not be living out my truth in a neutered body like the eunuch brothers I’ve come to dearly respect and admire. That’s part of why I rarely post because until my ball is gone, how can any of you take me seriously? That’s something I can earn only thru getting castrated. Def did not expect this journey to still be dragging on over a decade later. Every time I get close to saving up enough cash to cover an orchiectomy, some financial crisis drains those funds and I’m back to square one. Try as I may to be patient in this process, I’m starting to resent waking up to it still being there. Dreamt of the day it will be empty when I reach down to touch that scrotum. Heard of how happy that made my friends after castration & I want that so badly.

Which brings me to my next point. Consider myself a spiritually active being with a personal connection to God. Pray often, yet keep this part of my life separate for the most part. It’s hard for me to speak about with my lord and savior, as much as I believe in this path & know I need to be neutered, there’s a certain sense of guilt about altering the body he created for me is sacrilegious on some level. Those are thoughts I avoid having. Because what if they convince me to give up on ever becoming the best version of myself? This is my inner truth, probly one of the most important parts of who I am now. The thought of losing that would be one of the worst failures for my life. I’m sure most of you experienced what this is feels like.

My question is, have any of you turned to ever God? He already knows how much this all means to me. Maybe it was even his master plan to neuter me. Already in my infancy lost one of my testes and I’d like to believe for a good reason. When I first found u guys here, one of the members was telling me about how in the Bible, God had a special love for eunuchs. I’ve looked into that and it has brought me peace when I was feeling conflicted. Often wonder if I’m bein tested to somehow prove how much I’m willing to fight for what I know is right for me. Maybe that’s what he’s been waiting on, for me to come to Him with my problem getting cut & earn His blessing

Had much internal monologue with the Lord about becoming a eunuch & thanked Him for choosing me to lose it and allowing me to find where I belong. I’m more comfortable with my manhood than I’d ever been before, now that I realize why I can never seem to live up to the pressure of being a man. Seriously can’t wait to experience a neutered lifestyle. Believe in myself as a eunuch more than I probly ever can intact. I’ve heard from so many of my eunuch brothers, who all started in my exact situation. From what they told me, the feelings I have about my body are not going to go away. Once we realize what needs done, it’s impossible to ignore. Thru the years, that voice of reason within has only grown more convincing. Why would I give up on it now? I owe it to myself to live the best life I can achieve. I need this.

For what it’s worth, if any of you are spiritual, could ya possibly throw up a prayer for me to find a way to afford an orchiectomy in the near future? I’ve been waiting so long. Just so beyond ready for it to be gone. Thank u.

[Valery_V (imported)]

God loves all people with a pure soul.

Being an eunuch is not a sin.

[WheelyCurious]

I don't really get the religious aspect of wanting to be castrated, but I wish you the best of luck in accomplishing your goals.

I know there are lots of references here that talk about Christian justifications / reasons / biblical interpretations for castration, I assume you have looked at most of them, if not it is probably worth your time to do so...

Do you have any sort of health insurance? Now that they have released SOC 8, which provides medical guidance on doing a Male -> Eunuch transition, it may be worth looking into whether going through the WPATH route at a transgender center would get your insurance to help cover the costs...

WheelyCurious

[Blondboyless (imported)]

It sounds like you are really struggling with this on many levels.

From what I’ve seen on this forum, people tend to care about the content of the comments posted on here, not what is or isn’t between someone’s legs. People will take your comments and thoughts seriously if they are respectful and honest. Don’t discount yourself just because you haven’t gotten to the final destination you want yet. People post on here and create meaningful discussions when they are intact, in process, simply curious, etc. Don’t feel you need to stay silent just because you have all your parts still. That is not a requirement.

I’m sorry you are experiencing some guilt when trying to reconcile that with your faith. That must be upsetting and frustrating. It sounds like your desire to be castrated is an integral part of you who you are inside. If your god is loving and made you as you are, then that god loves you as you are and will continue to love you regardless of what is or isn’t between your legs.

It is frustrating not being at the place one wants to be. Delays and postponed plans are aggravating. I hope that 2023 brings you closer to having some inner peace and less stress.

[JessicaH (imported)]

Matthew 19:10-12

The disciples *said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”