Advise for Women!

[Studlover (imported)]

GOOD FEMALE ADVISE

Ladies:

If you want someone

who will bring you the paper

without first tearing it apart

to remove the sports section

. buy a dog.

If you want someone

willing to make a fool of himself

simply over the joy of seeing you

. buy a dog.

If you want someone

who will eat whatever you put in front

of him and never says its not quite

as good as his mother made it

. buy a dog.

If you want someone

always willing to go out,

at any hour, for as long

and wherever you want

. buy a dog.

If you want someone

to scare away burglars,

without a lethal weapon

which terrifies you and endangers

the lives of your family

and all the neighbors

. buy a dog.

If you want someone

who will never touch the remote,

doesn't care about football,

and can sit next to you

and watch a romantic movie

. buy a dog.

If you want someone

who is content to get up on your bed

just to warm your feet

and whom you can

push off if he snores

. buy a dog.

If you want someone

who never criticizes what you do,

doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly,

fat or thin, young or old,

who acts as if every word you say

is especially worthy of listening to,

and loves you unconditionally, perpetually

. buy a dog.

But on the other hand

If you want someone

who will never come when you call,

ignores you totally when you come home,

leaves hair all over the place,

walks all over you,

runs around all night,

only comes home to eat and sleep,

and acts as if your entire existence

is solely to ensure his happiness,

Then my friend...

Buy a cat.

(Any resemblance to a man is purely coincidental)

[Mac (imported)]

Very True. Cats owm their human owners.