The reason I think my dick needs to be removed is...

[rogerwpbfl (imported)]

Showers will take so much less time

Here's a new series I'm starting just to keep you guys entertained. It's my early Christmas gift to the community.

[Valery_V (imported)]

You do not joke so, the handsome man. I made it for a long time, but I like to spend much time in a heat bath, of 1 hour to 2. So can save time it will not turn out

All with the coming winter holidays!

[TopManFL (imported)]

December 17th, 2020

--- FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE ---

Unilever™ London, PLC (NYSE STOCK TICKER: UL)

UNITED STATES DIVISION

FAIR PUBLIC NOTICE OF A SIGNIFICANT POTENTIAL DECLINE IN AXE® BODY WASH SALES

URGENT STOCK WARNING!

Unilever PLC, the makers of AXE BODY WASH ANNOUNCES:

Current and potential stockholders should be aware that AXE BODY WASH is a significant portion of Unilever's profit and that RogerWPBFL's announcement that he will have far less need for body wash could seriously impact AXE sales and ultimately our stock price.

###

[rogerwpbfl (imported)]

@TopManFL how’d you know Ranger and I use Axe?!

[TopManFL (imported)]

Rog,

I didn't until now.

[rogerwpbfl (imported)]

...my buddies want to go fishing and we need bait

[TopManFL (imported)]

...my buddies want to go fishing and we need bait

--- Somewhere in the Swap of the Deep South ---

Jack: Welcome to Camp Bate

Rog: Micah, I thought you said this was a fishing camp?

Micah: I said Bate, not Bait.

Rog: We're booked here for two weeks and the next airboat to take us home isn't scheduled until then.

Micah: You say that like it's a bad thing.

Jack: Hey, it's good. You're in the Bayou. We can fish for anything from catfish to bass.

Rog: Bass, let's fish for bass.

Jack: Which brings us back to the bait.

Micah: Haha, yeah, we'll need a big worm to catch a 10-pound bass.

Rog: Hey, if you have in mind what I think you do, forget it.

Micah: Let's sleep on it. It's been a long trip.

Rog: Okay. What happened to my suitcase? Where are my clothes

Jack: Oh, that's where the Camp Bate comes in. You see, clothes aren't allowed past the front door.

Rog: Micah, did you know about this?

Micah: Sort of. I mean, the brochure was a bit vague on the topic. See?

Rog: Let me read this, "Camp Bate is a holistic retreat where men are encouraged to explore their body and mind. Releasing semen is essential to a true self-awareness," hey, I call bullshit, M, you did know this was basically a male jerk off vacation.

Micah: Rog, if you can't handle it, I'll lend a hand.

Jack: And don't forget the last day is the tally day where the dude who bated the least loses it all.

Micah: Hey, Rog, stop kicking me in the ass. Really, that is ... well, getting me kinda hot.

Rog: It's going to be a long two weeks.

[rogerwpbfl (imported)]

@topManFL Micah's a tool. He can't even properly conceal his jealousy for my junk, or his thirst for its total destruction. If he can't have it, I shouldn't either.

My guess, in the scene you've created, is that Micah gets stumbling drunk as usual and talks me into a dare. To prove I'm more of a man than Micah, I agree to let them band and cut Ranger so he can be used as bait. But, the understanding is I WILL get Ranger back -- and an immediate ride to ER -- once he's reeled in with their big bass. To make it more interesting, Micah will also be allowed 2 minutes to do whatever Micah wants with Ranger. Anything. 2 minutes, No rules. Before Ranger is cast into the dark water of the Bayou.

Fine. I accept the stupid dare. My only worry is if Ranger lures a gator instead of a fish, in which case I'll be sexless the rest of my life.

So, as it turns out, Micah "mistakenly" uses the wrong weight fishing line. A monster bass hits Ranger and during the struggle to bring in their prize fish with my prize junk, the line snaps and Ranger is gone. Fish food. My last blow job is from a bass. Does that sound about right? Strangely that actually kinda makes me hard thinking about. Ranger is lost forever. Or, is he?

[TopManFL (imported)]

@topManFL Micah's a tool. He can't even properly conceal his jealousy for my junk, or his thirst for its total destruction. If he can't have it, I shouldn't either.

My guess, in the scene you've created, is that Micah gets stumbling drunk as usual and talks me into a dare. To prove I'm more of a man than Micah, I agree to let them band and cut Ranger so he can be used as bait. But, the understanding is I WILL get Ranger back -- and an immediate ride to ER -- once he's reeled in with their big bass. To make it more interesting, Micah will also be allowed 2 minutes to do whatever Micah wants with Ranger. Anything. 2 minutes, No rules. Before Ranger is cast into the dark water of the Bayou.

Fine. I accept the stupid dare. My only worry is if Ranger lures a gator instead of a fish, in which case I'll be sexless the rest of my life.

So, as it turns out, Micah "mistakenly" uses the wrong weight fishing line. A monster bass hits Ranger and during the struggle to bring in their prize fish with my prize junk, the line snaps and Ranger is gone. Fish food. My last blow job is from a bass. Does that sound about right? Strangely that actually kinda makes me hard thinking about. Ranger is lost forever. Or, is he?

Rog,

I think Melville would love to write this story.

Moby Ranger Dick.

Rog would chase the white bass that had eaten Ranger all over the bayou while dodging gators, rattlesnakes, and Anne Rice's ghost.

Then, one night, tired and lonely, Rog (with a wooden peg between his legs), will wander into a voodoo shop just off Bourbon Street to buy some Love Potion Number 9. He'll see Ranger, stuffed by the taxidermist, and mounted on the wall hanging out of the white bass' mouth.

A 50% off sign will hang from Ranger.

Rog, with a moist eye almost on the verge of tears asks, "the white bass and the 9" cock are for sale at half price?"

The clerk will glance uninterestingly up at the display and answer, "not half price. It's only half the cock. You know, only 4.5" of cock, someone named Micah bought the other half."

"Did he say why?"

"There's a note in the fish. You can only read it if you buy it."

"How much?"

"No idea how much, we don't own it. You'll have to inquire at Camp Bate."

[rogerwpbfl (imported)]

He spends entirely too much time running my life. I'd have my life back if he were stuffed and mounted