Hello from DesperateGirl

[DesperateGirl (imported)]

Hi,

It is long overdue that I post an introduction. I am a 68 year MtF who keeps getting side-tracked by life. Since my early 40's I have been trying to transition but my partner has always resisted this change. I have gone through some helpful stages such as enlarged prostate treated with Avodart. The side effects of some breast development and reduced drive were most welcome - plus it does shrink the prostate.

A chance to work away for a year allowed me to self prescribe T blockers and female hormones. This was my best living year as I felt so right in my mind with a female brain and not a slave to my T drive. As I mentioned in another thread, I also became more submissive, and my partner was easily able to stop this transition and I tried to live as a male with breasts and low sex drive again. I did enter the health system, and I was diagnosed as MtF by the gender clinic and offered treatment but on the basis I had to divorce first. This was a few years back and I think they are more understanding of a relationship surviving now.

Like many here there are other factors. Our adult disabled child who passed a few years ago, a flood that devastated our home, and my terminal cancer diagnosis with me being only given a couple of months as it was inoperable. This time life paid me back as chemo cured the cancer and I am mostly able to live as before.

But the need to transition and get rid of that T is still there. I joined last year when I started killing my balls. I had thought this worked as I felt the loss of T and was looking forwards to getting a low maintenance dose of E, but the T returned! Our bodies try and heal and one of my balls repaired itself. I am treating it again and will continue until I am sure I have passed the point of no return this time.

Well, that is plenty (too much they cried!) about me.

Thanks for all the great threads I have read and I look forwards to joining in more in the future.

DesperateGirl