Advice or thoughts

[nottoosure (imported)]

Hello,

A big thanks to this site and being a great source of information. I'm looking for some advice (place to vent) if anyone is willing to share/listen.

In brief I've been working with a mental health professional for about 8 months in my efforts to qualify for nullo surgery (I don't like the term gender nullification surgery). They've been great and supportive. My former doctor while supportive had no clue what to do with me other than ask if I wanted anti-anxiety or anti-depressant medication. I switched to a practice that is supposed to be very progressive in dealing with gender and sexuality issues.

New doctor is concerned that I'm not "connecting" my need for surgery enough with gender issues and am placing it more in the realm of body discomfort. Also was a bit taken back when I said I still identify as male as opposed to non-binary. I'm willing to go through the motions if that is what I need to reach my goal but is a bit disheartening.

If someone is willing to share their thoughts/coaching etc. I'd appreciate it.

Kindly,

Nottoosure

P.S. I know not a convincing screen name but had it a long time.

[kristoff]

My first advice is get rid of the therapist. They have their mind made up already. Research and bring up the subject of dysphoria; not just gender dysphoria, but body dysphoria. Bring up ICD-11 6C21. The rest of the world is getting up to date, and recognizing body dysphoria as a valid concern. Get you research done, and be knowledgeable of your topic, and assert your need. If you can't get it there, find another therapist.

[Losethem (imported)]

Ditto what Kristoff said. Also, remember you know what your goal is. Play the game if you must. I did, and now I'm happier about my body configuration than I've ever been in my life.

Do not go to a more "general" therapist. Specifically seek one that works with gender dysphoria issues. They may be more commonly seen as those therapists who work mostly with transgender patients. They're going to be more open to understanding your (and our community) special needs than a regular therapist.

[catoboros (imported)]

Also was a bit taken back when I said I still identify as male as opposed to non-binary.

Hmm, that new doctor seems a bit lacklustre. Trans people do not so much change sex as change sex characteristics. I am both male (biological sex) and nonbinary (gender identity). Your descriptions makes sense to me, and your new doctor's incomprehension is not encouraging. Do they specialise in gender issues?

I had a senior psychiatrist tell me that I did not have gender dysphoria because I did not want to become a woman: he preferred the old DSM-IV-TR Gender Identity Disorder rules so he kept on using them with the DSM-5 gender dysphoria terminology! But he vouched for my sanity and that was enough for my surgeon.

Genderbread Person v4.0 Poster clarifies the differences between sex, gender identity, and gender expression:

https://www.genderbread.org/resource/ge ... 4-0-poster

[nottoosure (imported)]

Thanks to those who replied. I was having a bit of a low point after meeting with the doctor. It was disappointing as the location is regarded as being welcoming and affirming to everyone regardless of gender and/or sexual identity.

To clarify while the doctor was a bit of a dud but my therapist has been amazing. My doctor wanted to speak with my therapist which I agreed to permit. My hope is that after the conversation the doctor can get more on the same page. If not I'll change doctors again.

Forward progress!

[mattman59 (imported)]

Thanks to those who replied. I was having a bit of a low point after meeting with the doctor. It was disappointing as the location is regarded as being welcoming and affirming to everyone regardless of gender and/or sexual identity.

To clarify while the doctor was a bit of a dud but my therapist has been amazing. My doctor wanted to speak with my therapist which I agreed to permit. My hope is that after the conversation the doctor can get more on the same page. If not I'll change doctors again.

Forward progress!

You are on the right track. Get a doctor who fully understands where you are coming from and is going to meet your needs. Your current doctor sounds like they are a useless waste of your valuable time. Chuck him/her and get a worthwhile one. Doctors like that are worthless. Time is of the essence. Sounds like you want to really get the ball rolling on this and get it done. Good luck in your quest and keep us posted. We understand and we are here to help. From my personal experience I wish I would have been castrated a long time before I actually did it so I really hate it when things drag on for way too long. Anyway take care.