Hello from a new member

[Pebi1980 (imported)]

So I guess I should introduce myself, rather than just lurk?

I guess I identify as trans, though never sought medical aid to transition further, though I dream of it.

Never been tested if I am a eunuch, but all signs point to it. I have almost no libido, no feeling in the tiny nuts and it impossible to become erect, instead it just hardens a bit, but still remains spongy. And when I do have a rare orgasm from anal play, I dripple a few drops at most.

I am 40 now, but my current state was reached at a much earlier age. These days I realize what I did was stupid and dangerous, but I have no regrets. Due to dysphoria I hated my puberty, so I kinda punished myself by punishing the organs that should not be there. In particular I enjoyed banding, though at that point I did not know the name, just found out that I could numb the testicles by wrapping rubberbands tightly around them. Then I could take my anger out on them. Always did remove the bands after they became cold. But at some point I guess I did pass the point of no return. And I am really happy these days that I never turned into a hairy beast.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

Welcome to a great website. You will find tons of information and lots of friendly members happy to answer your questions. Even us super hairy beasts who love being part animals lol.

[Pebi1980 (imported)]

Welcome to a great website. You will find tons of information and lots of friendly members happy to answer your questions. Even us super hairy beasts who love being part animals lol.

Oh, as long as I am not the hairy beast myself it is fine. Don’t mind others being hairy.

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

Thanks, I find hairy men a huge turn on myself.

Have you had your testosterone levels checked and a semen test done to see if your balls are functioning at all now ? Have they shrunk up or gone numb ?

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

You mention maybe thinking of taking a next step in your profile. Are you on here to find out which next step interests you the most ?

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

I guess I should have been clearer, my fault, you said you do have tiny numb balls now. I m wondering were your balls ever bigger and feeling in the past ? How long have they been tiny and numb ? Never grew to man size, or did get big and then got tiny ?

[cutnbulls2ox (imported)]

From what you are describing so far, it sounds like you are pretty much castrated and a eunuch now.

[Pebi1980 (imported)]

Never had them checked, always worried doctor would put me on T. They shrank in size and are still numb, I can squeeze and just feel it on the scrotum. Haven’t really tested the semen, just know that the few drops leak out and look like transparent and watery.

[Pebi1980 (imported)]

I guess I should have been clearer, my fault, you said you do have tiny numb balls now. I m wondering were your balls ever bigger and feeling in the past ? How long have they been tiny and numb ? Never grew to man size, or did get big and then got tiny ?

Never grew to man size, was probably the size of grapes back then. And yes, they were feeling, because the dull pain after I removed the band was a reminder that they had been punished. These days they are probably half that size. They have been that way for maybe 25 years.

[Pebi1980 (imported)]

You mention maybe thinking of taking a next step in your profile. Are you on here to find out which next step interests you the most ?

Well, more to learn more about experiences, seems like a diverse crowd. My next step will be some hormonal treatment, but I am not sure if I want to go the full SRS route, I am wondering if it enough to satisfy my dysphoria if it is all removed and smoothed.