New here; My introduction.

[photoglenn (imported)]

Thank you JessicaH. I will ask my physician about this on my next visit.

[Chesleyt (imported)]

I just went through the same thing this year and it's been hard to deal with. I did go to counseling for a couple months and it did help. You need to see an endocrinologist they know how to do your HRT properly doctors don't know what they are doing with HRT I know this from my experience I inject testosterone cypionate 200 mg every 7 days and take an estrogen blocker twice a week to keep my estrogen levels in check before the endocrinologist started me on the blockers my sex life was dead most doctors don't check your estrogen levels when they do your blood tests so ask for it. I've done the gels patches and injectable testosterone and the injections have worked the best. It's been 9 months since my castration and it's still hard to deal with but it was worth getting it done because I was in pain non stop for 3 months before it was done. I'm 53 now and because of prostate problems the medications have taken away all my sexuality so I can feel your pain. Also synthetic testosterone doesn't come close to the real stuff in my case. Hope I've been helpful. Chip

[photoglenn (imported)]

I just went through the same thing this year and it's been hard to deal with. I did go to counseling for a couple months and it did help. You need to see an endocrinologist they know how to do your HRT properly doctors don't know what they are doing with HRT I know this from my experience I inject testosterone cypionate 200 mg every 7 days and take an estrogen blocker twice a week to keep my estrogen levels in check before the endocrinologist started me on the blockers my sex life was dead most doctors don't check your estrogen levels when they do your blood tests so ask for it. I've done the gels patches and injectable testosterone and the injections have worked the best. It's been 9 months since my castration and it's still hard to deal with but it was worth getting it done because I was in pain non stop for 3 months before it was done. I'm 53 now and because of prostate problems the medications have taken away all my sexuality so I can feel your pain. Also synthetic testosterone doesn't come close to the real stuff in my case. Hope I've been helpful. Chip

Chip aka Chesleyt, Thank you for your input. Although I have no prostate issues, your input is useful. I am adding it to my list of things to research. Especially the injectable testosterone. The Androgel was working at first, but seems to be not working now. Perhaps some other hormones are blocking it, or ??? In that my personality is not very outgoing I find it impossible to discuss my situation or feeling with anyone except my long time Primary Care Physician, on clinical issues, not emotional issues.

While I have a feeling of being despondent over being castrated, I am just in the doldrums, not depressed.

Emotionally I need to find a way to accept myself and not be self critical. I spent almost my entire life being in the closet as far as my homosexuality is concerned. At long last those days are over. Now I find I am back in the closet because I absolutely do not want anyone to know I have been castrated. The transition from being a male to a eunuch is just one giant leap into abyss that is extremely difficult to absorb or accept.

[photoglenn (imported)]

I now doubt myself in perhaps being too quick to say OK to my urologist's recommendation that he remove my infarcted testicles.

I should have asked more questions such as, what might happen if he did not remove them.

They were small, hard, and did not hurt when squeezed but at least there. I was not unhappy with that predicament. Sure they no longer produced testosterone, but since cancer was not initially diagnosed, and there was no initial evidence in blood tests of cancer, perhaps just using a Testosterone Replacement would have been sufficient.

I never considered the emotional impact of what castration would look or feel like or that I would transition from Male to Eunuch, a category that is sometime looked down upon more than homosexuality by many people.

After looking at posts from people here and looking at some medical and government studies it appears that men who desire to be castrated, once castrated, feel good about their decision and about their self and self image. That is an interesting thing to me, as not wanting to be castrated I now have a low self image of myself having made and accepting, the unwanted, switch from Male to Eunuch.

So, in addition to my libido and interest and ability to perform sexually, I am very despondent over my predicament. Not depressed, just in the doldrums as it were. Both issues combined are like a tidal wave of catastrophic events to me. I guess what I am asking those who are satisfied with being castrated:

What are the advantages and how can I find a positive self image and satisfaction with my physical situation which is not going to change.

I need to develop a new point of view and outlook if I am ever to recover emotionally.

Plus I will be seeking additional hormone counseling from my Primary Care Doctor.

[Arachnid (imported)]

Hi Photoglenn, I am in my 70th year so an older, albeit more recent, member of this group and over the last decade have had a series of medical issues which I had never experienced before. Perhaps one of the problems for you is that you are not seeing this as simply a medical procedure on the advice of your doctor and specialists. Sure, you are technically a eunuch, but self-perception is really important in these instances, and you will see from some of the discussion threads here that the men who are members of this group have a wide range of view on how they identify.

I understand your reluctance to seek counselling - our generation of men were conditioned to deal with emotions internally, and I have never sought any emotional or psychological support for the long standing issues I have had. However I expect that when I approach my doctor about castration I will be referred straight to a counsellor.... I think if you have a good relationship with, and confidence in your doctor you can sift through the advice and experiences you find here and have a clear discussion on the post-procedure issues you are having. Finally, our endocrine system affects us both physically and mentally so both sets of symptoms are to be expected.

[JessicaH (imported)]

If you are only at 105ngl, it’s no wonder you are feeling sexless and depressed. Many docs will supplement if under 400. If you don’t have any other health issues, there is no reason you can’t be at around 700. Feeling dull, depression and bored with life are common symptoms of low T.

[photoglenn (imported)]

Hi Photoglenn, I am in my 70th year so an older, albeit more recent, member of this group and over the last decade have had a series of medical issues which I had never experienced before. Perhaps one of the problems for you is that you are not seeing this as simply a medical procedure on the advice of your doctor and specialists. Sure, you are technically a eunuch, but self-perception is really important in these instances, and you will see from some of the discussion threads here that the men who are members of this group have a wide range of view on how they identify.

I understand your reluctance to seek counselling - our generation of men were conditioned to deal with emotions internally, and I have never sought any emotional or psychological support for the long standing issues I have had. However I expect that when I approach my doctor about castration I will be referred straight to a counsellor.... I think if you have a good relationship with, and confidence in your doctor you can sift through the advice and experiences you find here and have a clear discussion on the post-procedure issues you are having. Finally, our endocrine system affects us both physically and mentally so both sets of symptoms are to be expected.

Discussing my feelings and emotions with anyone face to face person to person is something that I have always had great difficulty with. Yes, indeed my new self identity as being a "Eunuch" is causing me great personal distress. Since I will always be castrated, I need to develop a way to embrace my new identity and not think of it as a negative thing. I will be working on this in 2020. With so many men being chemically or surgically castrated due to prostrate cancer, one would think that there are many people who are dealing with self identity conflicts. I have only known one friend who had testicle cancer, in one testicle, which was removed. We have never discussed his operation. It is just not the kind of thing one discusses. I will never discuss my operation except with my husband and doctor. I have received good input from others about Testosterone Replacement options, such as different product, injection instead of gel, which I have added to my list of things to discuss with my doctor. In that my procedure was medically necessary I had no need for advance counseling, although looking in the mirror, there should have been some counseling in advance to prepare me for the emotional and mental side effects. That is something that Urologists should do to prepare you for the new body you will have.

[photoglenn (imported)]

If you are only at 105ngl, it’s no wonder you are feeling sexless and depressed. Many docs will supplement if under 400. If you don’t have any other health issues, there is no reason you can’t be at around 700. Feeling dull, depression and bored with life are common symptoms of low T.

My doctor always tells me I am at normal level, even when it was at one point it was higher. I keep a list of the numbers and they have ranged from 4 to 230. I will surely discuss this with my physician on my next routine visit. Yet, there must be a point at which is too high and might cause negative side effects?

[photoglenn (imported)]

I had it done voluntarily, so just want to be up front about that.

There are many reasons why you could be experiencing these symptoms. It's been just under a year since this happened to yourself. Have you had any lab work done after the surgery. Often a man will have quite a different level of testosterone in his body using the synthetic stuff (IE androgel, shots, etc.) than he had when he still had his testicles.

The body image issue may be important in your case. You've said you've had difficulty since the surgery adjusting to your new normal, but that in the middle of the night you're sometimes waking up with erections and able to use them to enjoy your body to orgasm. This leads me to believe this could be a non-organic issue - IE perhaps speaking with a therapist, and including your partner in that discussion, may be a possible solution. I'm in no way saying you've got any deficiencies there, just that sometimes getting this stuff off your chest with a disinterested third-party, can be helpful.

Another thought is this... have you experienced any depression symptoms, and if so, have you been given any medication for them? I only ask because there are many medications used to treat that which can also diminish sexual enjoyment and interest.

I really do hope you're able to find a solution. The people here are generally welcoming and will treat your respectfully with regards to your concerns and feelings.

Welcome to the site. please feel free to ask us any questions that are on your mind.

--LT

I have no depression symptoms, just despair. While some, perhaps yourself, consider me "fortunate" for having a medical need to be castrated, I have not yet come to that conclusion. I will try my best in 2020 to realign my mental and emotions to accept the new me and not fret so much on the loss. While I have been getting some good input on testosterone options, which I plan to discuss with my physician at my next routine visit in January, I am beginning to wonder if I should just accept my "good fortune" and become testosterone free, since I have the option. To anyone who has done this, what would be the positive and negative side effects of this from personal experience. Sure I looked up on the internet, but there is nothing better than to hear it from someone who has actually gone from having normal testosterone to no testosterone. The artificial testosterone is not working very well for me, so chosing to go testosterone free is another option that I might consider.

[JessicaH (imported)]

You are very likely not going to get any bad side effects in the 7-800 range but it’s good for your Dr. to keep an eye on your blood lipids and red blood cell count (RBC). Your doc may say 200 is normal for a 72 year old man but a lot of bad things are normal for 72. You can have the T levels of an 18 year old and feel like a new person. I highly recommend finding another Dr. to manage your T levels. If nothing else, there are T clinics and anti aging clinics all over the place. The Dr should also prescribe Anastozole twice weekly to keep your T from aromatizing into estrogen.

I highly recommend testosterone cypionate injections every 5 days, 7 days max between intervals. Levels drop sharply after 5 days.